The typical patrician (middle and upper class) Roman family included the father, mother, children, married sons, their families and slaves. The plebeians (lower class) Romans also followed the mores of their wealthy families, although few could afford slaves.
In most Roman families, the paterfamilias was in absolute charge, and the materfamilias had few rights that were not given to her by her husband. However, in many Roman homes, women were influential in controlling the finances, running the household staff, education of the children and maintaining relationships with the extended family and others in the community.
Roman girls of 15 were considered to be entering womanhood, and expected to be married within a year or two. Finding husbands from influential families for daughters was very important to upper-class Romans. The decision of choosing a bridegroom was strictly the choice by the girl’s father.
If he could find a husband who came from a higher-class status, the Roman Senate or royalty, he deemed it a great family success. On the other hand, if the daughter refused to marry the chosen groom, she could be punished with anything from imprisonment at home to lifelong commitment to a women’s religious sect, such as the Vestal Virgins.
Roman wives mostly had to start out their adult lives as teenagers married to total strangers, or worse, brutal, autocratic husbands. The wife had no legal rights as a Roman citizen, and she couldn’t leave a bad marriage without suffering dire consequences.
A husband could beat his wife at will, and under some circumstances kill or have her killed. Husbands who considered their wives and children unworthy, could have them sold into slavery. Divorce was an option in Rome before the Christian era, but only for the husband to legally put into effect. One of the most prevalent reasons for divorce was that the wife failed to produce male heirs.
Mothers of sickly or illegitimate babies were often forced by their families to take the newborns to the river bank or other lonely location, where death by starvation or exposure was certain. Considering the primitive medical knowledge of the time, Roman women had frequent miscarriages, and many young children never lived to adulthood. Wives were expected by their husbands and the state to recover from the losses and bear children again and again.
Roman husbands, especially the wealthier and members of royalty, often kept mistresses. Some of the more successful of that class of women,
called concubines, maintained elaborate lifestyles and residences. Because they had none of the usual duties of wives in raising children and maintaining households, they were often familiar, colorful figures around the shops and markets of Rome. Many of the more privileged were transported like royalty in slave-carried sedan chairs.
Courtesan women were on the next level below concubines. They were usually independent prostitutes or madam managers of houses of prostitution. Many began their lives in the city as abducted prisoners from Roman conquests in Europe and Africa.
Many captured women were sold as slaves, while others were destined to serve as prostitutes to Roman soldiers and citizens. In some exceptional cases, because of their beauty, education or musical talent, foreign-born prostitutes were taken as individual concubines by Roman men of higher rank.
The quality of life for a Roman woman depended primarily on her husband’s station in society. If he was a high-ranking soldier, politician, merchant or religious leader, her everyday life was pleasant, providing she bore children, maintained her classic looks and took care of her household duties.
If the husband was a plebeian or common soldier, she had to make do with whatever resources her husband could earn. The Roman wife and mother of all classes had no legal rights except those granted by her husband and the state.
