Bullying takes place in all sorts of situations. In the home, in the workplace, at school, in public, at church. Why? Because bullies bring their bullying behavior with them wherever they go. Bullies come in every shape, size, gender, creed, color and ideology. Bullying behavior has several different faces. I’ve divided them into two categories: physical and emotional bullying. The physical bully poses an immediate, obvious threat. The emotional bully operates on a more subtle, subconscious level. Both kinds of bullying are dangerous, but the emotional bullying is harder to detect. Are you being bullied emotionally or physically? Here are 10 strategies to help you cope.
– Stay out of the bully’s path. I’m not advising you to hide. Just don’t engage her in conversation and attract her attention purposely.
-Ignore the bully. Look right through them as if they aren’t there at all. If the bullying is intentional, it will fail to hit the mark.
-If the bully tries to engage you, continue to ignore. Walk right past them. Get up and move. Deflate her attempts to start something.
-If the bully talks to you, do not answer. He will look like an idiot talking to himself and probably shut up.
-If the bully asks you a question, do not answer. If he is a professional bully, he will try to lure you in with an innocuous question. If you answer, he will have established contact and proceed with the bullying. Say nothing. You are not obligated to answer. The question is a kind of gauntlet that he is throwing down. If you pick it up, the games begin.
-If you cannot get out of her path, and she starts in on you, just stare her right in the face. Don’t shift your eyes. With dogs this is a sign of dominance. It says, ‘I see you and I can take you.
-If the bully gets physical defend yourself however you can. If he throws a weak punch and you see that it was only a cowardly little show of power, you can choose to ignore it and keep staring at him. This kind of bully will back down.
-If you are a child on a playground, get help from an adult. If you get no help, go to your teacher after recess, or go to the principle. Most school professionals are trained to deal with bullying and they will help you. Tell your parents. You are not being a ‘chicken’ you are being smart.
-You can also shout loudly and firmly. Don’t cringe or scream. Say something like, ‘Stop that!’.
-If there is no help available, and the bully is determined to beat you senseless, you have one of two choices. Fight or flight. If this is an ongoing situation, flight will only prolong the situation. If you fight back you may be able to settle matters, or you may take a severe beating. This depends upon the bully. If your bully has been taking drugs, stay away.
-If you do not know how to fight, or are unevenly matched, bite. Pull hair. Pinch under the arm in the soft flesh. Kick in the groin. Some may disagree, with me, but it if you have no other alternative, it is better to fight back than to be beaten to a pulp, by an enraged maniac. Under no circumstances allow yourself to be someone’s punching bag.
Contrary to some popular theories, the problem of bullying is complicated. There is no magic 1-2-3 solution. Bullying occurs for several reasons. No person is exactly the same and no bully is either. Bullies are typically emotional weaklings. Your emotional and physical health are most important. Be confident in yourself.
