Bullying is a serious issue that I learned a great deal about during my time working as the program coordinator of a violence prevention and intervention program for adolescents at the YWCA in Cincinnati, Ohio. I visited local schools, where I taught students how to respond if they were bullied or if they saw other students being bullied. I also helped schools develop policies for dealing with bullying and trained teachers and other staff members to respond appropriately when they witnessed bullying or when students reported bullying to them.
Both educators and parents should always take bullying among children and adolescents seriously. It’s often assumed that it’s normal for children to tease other children, but while teasing is not uncommon, that does not mean it’s healthful or acceptable. And unfortunately, bullying often goes beyond mere teasing. It can have very serious consequences.
There are specific skills children can learn to help them avoid bullying others. They need to learn good communication skills, anger management skills and stress management skills. Children should begin learning these things when they are very young. These skills can be integrated into the school curriculum as early as kindergarten. Keep in mind that some children take more time to master these skills than others, and some need additional assistance learning these skills.
Children should also be taught how to respond if they are bullied. They should try to ignore bullies but if that doesn’t work, they should tell bullies to stop their behavior. They should simply say, “Stop calling me names” or “Stop poking me.” Of course, telling bullies to stop bullying is not always very effective, but it’s a starting place. Children should not call bullies names or get into physical altercations with them.
Children should be taught to walk away from bullies and to go to an adult for help. Of course, in order for this to be effective, adults need to know how to respond when children come to them for help dealing with bullies.
Intervention
Adults need to intervene when they witness children bullying other children. Adults should not expect children, especially young children, to know how to work things out themselves. The bully needs to be told in a straight-forward way that bullying is not acceptable. The bully should then be redirected into another, more appropriate activity.
The child that was bullied also needs to hear that bullying is not acceptable. Comfort the child as needed and assure her that she does not deserve to be treated that way.
Children should be encouraged to make friends with other children because those that belong to a group of friends generally experience less bullying than those that are loners. Some children seem to naturally develop good social skills but others need assistance in that area. Teaching children social skills and helping children make friends helps “bully-proof” them.
All schools need to develop and implement anti-bullying programs. Programs should include education about bullying for students of all ages and training for all staff, including teachers, administrative employees, janitorial staff, foodservice staff and bus drivers, about how to respond to bullying. Everyone needs to be on the same page.
Schools need to provide adequate supervision of students during the times bullying is most likely to occur, including on the school bus, during recess, in the lunch room and in the bathrooms. Some schools have recruited parent volunteers to help provide adequate supervision when limited staff is available, such as on the school bus.
When to Notify Law Enforcement
In cases of physical violence, or serious threats of physical violence, local law enforcement should be notified. This protects the bullied child from future harm and lets the bully know that his behavior is unacceptable, illegal and has serious consequences. Involvement with the juvenile court system may also provide a mechanism for a bully to get the help he needs in order to change his behavior; juvenile courts often order teen bullies to engage in treatment programs, for instance, and sometimes also provide funding to cover the costs of treatment programs.
Sources:
Education.com. http://www.education.com/reference/article/help-prevent-bullying-at-school/. How Can Parents Help to Prevent Bullying?
Kids Health. http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/school_stuff/bullies.html#. Dealing With Bullies.
American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/monitor/oct02/bullying.aspx. New Ways to Stop Bullying.
