As a mother you dream of having the “Gerber” baby. That dream seemed to burst for me.
In five weeks, I will be giving birth to my child. He is a son, a dream come true. My heart sank the moment I heard the word, “hydrocephalus.”
Hydrocephalus is referred to the term, “water on the brain.” The volume of cerebrospinal fluid is increased. An infant diagnosed with this condition often has an enlarged head. My unborn child’s hydrocephalus is caused by a genetic disorder. The genetic disorder is known as aqueduct stenosis. In simpler terms, the aqueduct is too narrow to allow the CSF fluid to pass through. This causes the hydrocephalus.
In the next five weeks decisions need to be made. Questions ponder through my mind. Too many unanswered questions lay ahead for my unborn son and me.
Can I handle the outcome of his medical condition? Am I fit enough to raise a child? Will the father and I be able to support each other during the remainder of my pregnancy and our child’s future?
Time is running out. I am terrified, not just for myself but for my unborn son as well. As a mother my fears of having a child with a medical condition became true. Fear for my son is overwhelming.
Hydrocephalus is a serious medical condition that shouldn’t be taken lightly. The treatment for this is to insert a shunt surgically. The shunt will help to drain the CSF fluid. At any given time, the shunt can fail; if it fails revisions to the shunt will need to be repaired immediately.
My son’s soon to be neurosurgeon advised me of a new procedure to treat the hydrocephalus. Endoscopic third ventriculostomy is a procedure to actually repair the aqueduct. The neurosurgeon advised me against it. The risks are much too great.
I want what is best for my unborn son. He is my main concern. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love him. He means the world to me.
The doctors are unsure of what the outcome of his future will be like. There is no reassurance for me as the future is unknown to us all. Who knows what lays ahead for any of us? It is an uncertainty we must all face.
Will I be a good mother? The decisions I make now will affect not only my life but my son’s as well. It is no longer about me. It is about my son and what is best for him. His life and future is in my hands.
The word hydrocephalus frightens me. It is a serious medical condition that is very treatable. Many parents are not aware of this condition. As a mother to be, I want to share my experiences with other parents.
Hopefully my experiences can inform others to hydrocephalus. I do not want other parents to live in fear as I am now. Parents need to know everything they can about hydrocephalus and various other disorders.
In a high risk pregnancy anything is possible. My doctors have informed me my chances of having a still birth are much higher in my pregnancy than with a pregnancy without any complications.
I do not know if I could cop if something happened to my son. The guilt of passing on the gene to him is overwhelming. I realize it isn’t my fault but the guilt still lingers. Delivering a child with hydrocephalus is recommended for a C-section. The size of the head cannot safely pass through the birth canal. The enlargement of the head can either become stuck or put more pressure on the head.
The excess fluid is placing pressure onto his brain. The neurosurgeon advised me, if the excess fluid is not drained, the fluid can cause damage to his brain. The shunt is his best option to drain the fluid. Whatever it takes I will do to make sure my son has a healthy, bright future.
The father and I are concerned parents. We love our son very much and want to do what is best for him. He is our son, pride and joy to be.
Too many nights I lie awake crying for my unborn son. I am terrified of the future and what is to happen. The doctors are unsure as well. The uncertainty of his future frightens me the most. They cannot tell me whether or not he will have learning disabilities.
In the next five weeks the decisions will linger. No one can give me a right or wrong decision. This is my choice and it has become the worst and most difficult decision I will ever have to make. I have to take myself out of the equation and think what is best for my son.
Please pray for my son. His life and future is now in God’s hands. It is up to God now. The remainder of the pregnancy will be a tough one for me. The decisions will only become even harder for me to decide. My love for my son is unconditional. You cannot begin to understand the love for a child till you become pregnant and have a child of your own. My journey as a mother is not over yet. The story is still unfolding….To be continued.
