Parenting and breastfeeding forums are often full of women who say that they love their bodies and don’t subscribe to conventional beauty standards, but that they hate the shape or size of their breasts. Sagging breasts are probably the most common complaint that women make about their figures. Many women who otherwise wouldn’t touch makeup or jewelry still mourn the loss of their once-perfect pair of breasts and say that they are saving for augmentation or a breast “lift”.
After giving birth, breastfeeding, and experiencing several sudden fluctuations in my weight, I once found myself crying in front of a mirror. I turned to my husband. When I was fifteen, they were, like, up HERE!” I said, squishing my sagging breasts into a now-unnatural position. My husband started laughing. “If any part of you looked fifteen, I wouldn’t want to be with you,” he said. If only more men took that attitude.
Our culture tends to view young, virginal women as the epitome of beauty, and brush aside women who begin to age and look more mature. Even now, in my early twenties, I find myself mourning the loss of the figure I had ten years ago, often without realizing how strange it is that I would see a young teen as the beauty standard to which I aspire. Adults should be attracted to adults, not children– so what’s wrong with looking like an adult?
Contrary to very popular myth, breastfeeding does not cause sagging breasts or darkening of the nipples, although pregnancy does lead to these body changes. And, while I have never found either of these features to be even remotely unattractive, I still, like many women, feel shamed by my post-baby, maturing body. Instead of celebrating the bodies of mothers, most heterosexual males–and, thus, the media– view them as offputting.
The reason for this is one of the greatest tragedies of partiarchal culture: the Madonna-Whore dichotomy. Women are often categorized into being pure, chaste, “Snow White” style virgins, or loose “bad girl” hookers. Mothers, in having their bodies altered by pregnancy, are often lumped into the latter category, and the battle-scars of childbirth become viewed as signs of ruin.
The sex industry shuns mothers and instead focuses on women with pink nipples, preteen-like breasts, and flat bellies. The subconscious minds of sexist, heterosexual men usually label these women as “virgins”, whereas women who display the markings of a mother– stretch marks and sagging breasts– are, by default, labeled as whores.
Given this, it is especially unfortunate that many otherwise empowered women feel shamed by their figures when age or pregnancy begin to mature the shape of breast tissue. By aspiring to have the breasts of childless or adolescent women, they are ultimately succumbing to the idea that only virgins and teens can be sexy– a sexist and hurtful beauty standard indeed.
With almost all women wearing bras when they are in public places, most of the women who have “sagging” breasts fail to realize that their breast shape is actually perfectly normal. With Barbie and Bratz dolls setting the beauty standard, we are likely to fall victim to the idea that normal breasts are stationary, upward-pointing balloons, when this description only fits a small minority of women– all of them very young and, usually, childless.
Sagging breasts are no less unattractive than any other breasts in my eyes (and I’m attracted to women) and I believe that most adult men who are unswayed by media are capable of being just as accepting. Breasts come in all shapes and forms, and no woman should be forced to conform to a beauty standard that labels virginal breasts as the only standard for attractiveness.
While bra burning may not be in order, women who struggle with body image problems relating to their breast shapes can take heart in knowing that there are many people who recognize the beauty of adult women and mothers. The act of aspiring to a childlike figure is not only degrading and demoralizing, but also unrealistic. Rather than seeking cosmetic surgery, learn to love yourself– and learn to love your breasts.
For more pro-boob reading, check out Why Feminism and Breastfeeding Go Hand-in-Hand, or my friend Kylyssa Shay’s article Why Do Augmented Breasts Look So Unrealstic?
