Raise your hand if remember the 3am crying fits of a newborn baby? Or if you have you ever tried to soothe a fussy, tired or sickly baby? It can be pure torture, if you can’t figure out what is wrong. There is no more helpless feeling than being unable to calm the crying infant. You feel worried, upset and emotionally drained. Chances are you are exhausted yourself. Most of us want to cry ourselves. Don’t despair; here’s my very best first aid guide to helping an upset baby relax and rest. And these tips aren’t just for infants; they will work with toddlers and most all children.
Step One: The very best way to calm any baby is to nurse them. Amongst the hundreds of other benefits, breast-feeding is the most reliable remedy for a fussy baby. Don’t try to schedule a nursing baby; babies get hungry very quickly, too. An over-hungry baby may become so upset that he cannot eat. Sometimes they need to suckle every few minutes.And really, it’s not like the baby has a big social schedule or some major deal he has to close. Eating and snuggling is his life’s work in the beginning.
Step Two: Does the baby have everything she needs? Oh, I know you just changed her two minutes ago. Little ones often wet shortly after a bowel movement or vice versa. Does she need to burp? Is she too cold or warm? Is she sick, feverish or in pain? Don’t overlook this.
Step Three: Is baby uncomfortable? I know it’s the trend to cart the baby in some sort of plastic carrier, but have you ever thought about how mercilessly uncomfortable they must be? Would you want to sit all scrunched up? Just because the baby hasn’t got the body control to sit doesn’t mean she wants to lay in a mushy heap. Baby needs to be comfortable.
Step Four: Baby has everything he needs and he’s still fussy, you say. OK, are you holding him? Contrary to that silly urban legend that warns parents that too much holding will ‘spoil’ the baby, take it from a mom of four and caregiver of countless babies over the years, it ain’t gonna happen. Fruit spoils. Babies need cuddling. And what’s the worst that can happen? He grows up knowing that he was cared for enough to be cuddled? His needs are met and he is confident and happy? Whoa, that is scary!
Step Five: Rock the baby. Either in a chair or on your feet, that rocking motion is intoxicatingly relaxing. And if you fall asleep rocking the baby, so what? You won’t drop the baby. Chances are you will sleep like a log and so will he! Some of my best memories are when I would come home after teaching my night classes to see my husband and our baby son spread eagle across daddy’s chest both sound asleep.
Step Six: Sing to baby. Even if you sound like a donkey in heat when you sing, baby doesn’t care. Our children were down right anal about our nightly bedtime lullabies ( ‘wubbies’ as our oldest daughter called them). Croon any song that you like and find soothing. Hold baby on your chest right under your chin so he can hear your voice and feel the vibrations in your chest.
Step Seven: Give baby a mini overall body massage. Use lotion or just caress her with your hands. Gently massage legs, arms, torso, back. and head. My husband used to be able to put our youngest son to sleep almost instantly with his famous infant temple massage. Place three fingers of both hands on baby’s temples and gently massage in circles, back and forth.
Step Eight: Place fresh lavender in the baby’s room. Lavender is a soothing and calming herb.
Step Nine: Give baby a nice soothing warm bath. Babies generally love a bath and often fall asleep after bathing. Don’t add any commercial ‘calming bubble bath. You can add some lavender oil if you wish.
Step Ten: Walk the baby. Take the baby on a house or outdoor tour in warm days. Gently hum, sing or talk about what you see: ‘birdies’ ‘puppy’ ‘kitty’, ‘flowers’ ‘sunshine’ whatever. It doesn’t matter baby just likes your voice and cuddling.
If all else fails, there are several very reputable homeopathic companies, such as Hyland’s that make soothing tablets that dissolve in babies mouth. These can help with possible unknown ailments, such as teething pain, tummy aches, head aches, that baby can’t tell anyone about. Calms Forte is a well-known remedy. Lastly, if you feel yourself getting angry, ask for help. Babies sense anger very easily; it confuses and frustrates them. Take a walk or get some fresh air.
