Constipation is one of those words that will invariably draw nervous titters. Even the word itself is inherently funny due to beginning with the funniest of all sounds, the notorious “K” sound. But, as we all know from experience, constipation is no laughing matter. Constipation is also not just a generic condition.
There are essentially two different types of constipation. Get ready to laugh. Spastic constipation has nothing to do with flailing about like a Jerry Lewis character as you try to work your load through your plumbing. Spastic constipation is when you are suffering from irregular bowel movements caused by certain external conditions such as high levels of stress, food that disagrees with you, nervousness, etc. Spastic constipation is better known as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Atonic constipation, on the other hand, occurs as a result of the muscles of your colon becoming weakened. Atonic constipation is far more common because it results from an internal condition that is experienced by more people, namely the lack of enough fiber and water to keep your colon muscles in good tone. And as if that weren’t bad enough, atonic constipation can be worsened if the only exercise you get is walking back and forth from the couch to the potato chip bin.
Therefore, and I know you see this coming and I know you don’t want to hear it, exercise is a terrific step toward cutting down on your extended trips to the bathroom. The vitality of physical exercise results in your body becoming much more responsive to regular bowel movements, whereas sitting on your rump has exactly the opposite effect. Makes sense, of course. If you sat on a straw all day you’d have a hard time sipping through it, right? In addition to exercise, you can help hasten the journey of your nutritional intake through your interior plumbing system by drinking lots of fluids, preferably water. The equivalent of eight glasses is recommended, but remember that you can get fluid into your body in other ways that by paying outrageous sums of money for water that was probably poured into a bottle directly out of the tap somewhere.
For instance, fruit is a great source of liquid. Instead of getting dessert in the form of cake or pie, order some fresh fruit such as watermelon which is practically 99% water and 1% melon. Not only will this up your-let’s admit it-less than recommended intake of fluid, but you also get some decent fiber working up there. Everybody keeps telling you to increase the amount of fiber you eat, and for once it’s not just a corporate scam. Although the Fiber Information Assn. of America probably has a top flight lobbyist in Washington, in this case he’s not just selling hot air. Eating more fiber will keep you inside the ceramic library less and give you more time for the important things in life. Like making an extra trip from the couch to the potato chip bin. When it comes to fiber don’t skimp on the vegetables. You may be tempted to peel away those outer leaves of cabbage or lettuce and cut off the mushroom stems, but you really shouldn’t. The best fiber can be found in those places, as well as on the peeling. So if you are the type who can peel an apple and keep it in one piece, go ahead and eat it next time.
There is one more bit of advice when it comes to take these steps to prevent constipation. Increasing the fiber in your diet can also make you a bit more vocal in public without opening your mouth, if you get my drift. To avoid a sudden surge in the passage of gas, be sure to slowly increase your fiber intake and include an equal uptick in fluids.
