The Holiday Season brings a whole lot more than just tidings. One of the most peculiar things that it brings are the “most wanted” Christmas toys and their accompanying insane parents. I am not fortunate enough to have children to use as justification for running another parent over with a shopping cart, but my boyfriend has an adorable little three year old who is reason enough for me.
Well, my boyfirend and I both watch Good Morning America in the mornign before work and we happened to catch their “must have” toy segment back in September, so we immediately decided that his little girl had to have this new Tickle Me Elmo doll for Christmas. The day the doll came out we decided that one of us would grab one of the Elmo dolls after work, but by lunch time we realized that this would be nearly impossible. He is calling stores all around his job and I am calling stores all around my job, but apparently the little red critters sold out within an hour of hitting the shelves. So we expand our search to relatives in other states and we eventually secure a coveted Elmo from the second shipment of dolls. A relative had to ship the doll to us, so we were consumed with anticipation waiting for the thing to arrive.
Now we are totally excited because we outsmarted all of the other “simple” parents and we have a red trophy to prove that we are vastly superior. In the few days that we had to wait for the doll in the mail, we reminisced about our efforts to get Elmo as if we had stormed the banks of Normandy. We gazed at each other with admiration and laughed at all of those who had choked at crunch time like Donovan McNabb in a championship game.
Finally after what seemed like weeks of waiting, the doll arrives. We both rushed home to rip open the package and bask in the glory of our triumph. At first glance, the box was so intriguing that we just stood there in silence for a minute or two soakin up the brightly colored “warning signs” on the pale box. Eventally, I snapped out of the trans and reached for the flap on the top of the box.
For those of you who have not experienced this super-charged Tickle Me Elmo, consider yourselves lucky! I opened the flap and the most shrill, annoying sound ever came out. My boyfirend took the thing out of the box and the ridiculousness escalated. Knee slapping, ground rolling, and continuous sounds similar to nails on a chalkboard went on for what seemed like hours.
Jolted back into my aduly mind, I remembered why I hated Elmo in the first place. This thing’s voice makes Barney sound like Billy Dee Williams. Aside from the super annoying voice, I realized that I had outsmarted people to get the most pointless toy on the planet. So this thing laughs. So what! What is it laughing at and what is warranting the knee slapping?
I dediced that the only logical answer for the Hemi-powered Tickle Me Elmo is that someone seriously spiked the punch at Seaseme Street’s Labor Day picnic and forgot to tell Elmo. The doll is totally ridiculous and annoying, so parents please beware before you go run over a poor soccer mom to get the thing. Buy one for your sister’s kid or the family that annoys you at the end of the block, but don’t sabotage your own house with this loud, giggly box of annoyance.
Reference:
- You can’t find this toy anywhere. You will have to call and find out shipment dates if you still want one.
