Every parent wants their child to be the little angel that every other parent is jealous of. You know the kid. The kid that behaves like little Rudy Huxtable from “The Cosby Show.” All she ever did was talk back to her parents a time to two and told a couple of lies. Any parent can deal with that, right? While there is a slight chance that you’ll end up with an angel, please do not deny reality. There are going to be times when your child misbehaves. In order to avoid an even larger problem in the future, you need to know how to discipline.
The first form of non-violent forms of punishments would be distraction. This only really works with very young children. When a child is young, they don’t have very long attention spans. They don’t remember things for very long, so punishing the child with something like a spanking, only stops the misbehavior for that moment. In less than an hour, the child has already forgotten that they even got a spanking, let alone what it was actually for! The way to use distraction is fairly easy. If your child is doing something that they shouldn’t, simply encourage them to engage in something else. Read a book to them, dance around the room, or play with blocks. Once the child no longer goes back to the behavior, you can take them out of the room and continue to play with them. Once a child begins to mature, this act of discipline looses its effectiveness. A different form of distraction could be hugging. This is most effective when the child is engaging in destructive behavior, especially in the “terrible two” stage. All you have to do is pick up and hug your child. You can help calm down your child by talking softly to them. Once they are calmed down, you can begin to sing or read a book to them.
Scolding is often the method many parents use to discipline their children. While this can be an effective form, be sure not to rely solely on this type. If this is your only form of discipline, it may lessen the effectiveness of it. Be sure that if you are scolding your child that you are also using verbal praise when they do something good.
Time-outs are a very popular form of discipline. This is most effective for children who are two to five years of age. All this involves is removing the child and isolating them for a short period of time. Many people use one minute per year of age; a three year old will get three minutes in time out, while a five year old will get five. While many people use this as a punishment, it is most effective when used for a calming down period. A child can often misbehave when they become over-excited. If this occurs, all you have to do is take the child away from distractions and give them a chance to calm down and regain control of themselves. For example, a child who is throwing a temper tantrum can be put in time-out. This gives them the few minutes that they need to calm down and be ready to rejoin whatever activities are going on.
Giving your child verbal praise or rewards for taking part in good behavior helps reinforce the behavior. When children are ignored, they often turn to misbehavior for attention. As children, they figure getting yelled at is better than nothing. Using this type of discipline will cause you to find out what works for your child. Some parents use sticker charts or candy to reinforce good behavior. Others use special time with the child or letting them choose a movie to rent as the reward.
Once the child gets older, you can start using consequences as a form of discipline. This gives them a chance to make the choice and deal with whatever the outcome is. For example, if your child comes home late for dinner, they will not be allowed to go to a friend’s house for a couple of days. If your teenager comes home late from curfew, they will not be allowed to drive the car for a day for every minute they are late. This form of discipline is what many parents use once their child is old enough to understand. Once the child understands that their decisions have an effect, then this should be an effective option.
Many parents around the world still believe that spanking is the best option when disciplining their children. They are often times, set in their ways. Sometimes, however, spanking doesn’t teach the child anything. Many parents don’t seem to know that there are other things that you can do to help your child behave better. After reading this article, you should have become familiar with other forms of discipline. One last piece of advice: Use patience and never discipline when you are angry.
