White trash is hot. White trash is hip. White trash is … well, white trash, but if there’s one thing real white trash know how to do, it’s party. So if you’re looking for an inexpensive, hilarious party theme for your next celebration, don’t think expensive hors d’oeuvres and champagne – think trash. Besides white trash couldn’t even spell hors d’oeuvres.
White Trash Party Ideas — Decorations
The great thing about a white trash party is that it’s cheap. After all, for real white trash, disability checks only go so far. Just remember, for a real white trash party nothing should match.
Old webbed lawn chairs mixed with a sofa you found at Goodwill for ten bucks make for plenty of seating. You’ll need ashtrays – the tackier the better. Those old black light velvet pictures you can color yourself. Torn throw pillows repaired with duct tape.
The best way to pick out the right décor for your white trash party is to decide just what you need and set yourself a very low budget. Then hit up junk stores, thrift stores and flea markets. Don’t go over budget (unless you absolutely have to). This will force you to buy the cheapest items available, just like real white trash.
White Trash Party Ideas – Food
Once again, when deciding on food, remember – think like white trash. If your idea of cheese does not come out of a can, you’re not thinking hard enough. For authentic white trash flavor, be sure to buy generic or store brand food. Not only does it capture the true white trash spirit, it’s also less expensive.
Be sure to serve on cheap paper plates with mismatching plastic ware. Sporks are even better.
Some Fun Food Items:
Squeeze Cheese/Squirt Cheese and saltines.
Vienna Sausages wrapped in American cheese. Slice and spear with toothpick.
Spam-kabobs (a little fancy for white trash)
Lots of chips (especially BBQ flavor) No baked kind either!
Pretzels are for wussies.
Pork rinds.
Beanie-Weenie casserole.
Jello molds with mini marshmallows and plates of store brand Oreos or other cheap cookies.
Basic rule of thumb for the food is if it’s fried or generally unhealthy, you’re probably okay.
White Trash Party Ideas – Drinks
Beer, the cheaper the better. Make sure it’s not imported. You can’t go wrong with Bud, but PBR, Milwaukee’s Best and Keystone Light, are all fine selections. Wine coolers are okay for non-beer drinkers, as is boxed wine.
For non-alcoholic drinks, store brand soda is great. Dr. Thunder (the Wal-Mart Dr. Pepper) is the soda of choice, with knock-off Mello Yello and Mountain Dew close seconds. Try to avoid diet drinks if possible.
White Trash Party Ideas – Costumes
Obviously you can order a costume from an online costume shop, but if you really want to get creative, try the local thrift store.
For women, stretch pants, skin-tight jeans, curlers and bathrobe, heavy blue eye shadow, and any trashy looking top should do fine. Just ask yourself, what would Britney Spears wear if she had no money, and you’re on the right track.
For guys, Rustler jeans, work boots, tank tops and a greasy baseball cap are perfect. You can get away with wearing no shirt, but only if you don’t have the body for it. If you can get a mullet wig and a mechanic’s shirt with your name stitched on it, you score extra points.
For both, old 80’s rock band shirts are excellent choices, as are t-shirts advertising events at least 5 years out of date (insert 1996 Atlanta Olympics t-shirt here.)
White Trash Party Ideas – Music/Entertainment
From cheesy hair metal bands like Cinderella to classic Southern Rock bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd to country you have a wide selection of music to play at your White Trash party. Just make sure you don’t pick any music by ‘wimpy’ performers.
On the TV, taped episodes of Springer, Cops, or any old school WWE event should be fine. In a pinch, a copy of Smokey and the Bandit played in a continuous loop will do.
White Trash Party Ideas – Party Games
Obviously Best Costume is a must-game for your White Trash Party, but you can also have other White Trash party games as well.
Hold a Beer Tasting Contest. See who can guess the correct beer after a taste. Like wine tasting without the pretentiousness.
Have a Vienna Sausage eating contest.
Play Name that Tune with White Trash songs.
Have a belching contest.
Make a beer can pyramid.
Just use your imagination, the less classy the better.
As for prizes, anything from the Dollar Store will do. Cans of Spam, beer, Lee Press-on nails, cigarettes, Once again, the less classy the prize, the funnier it will be.
A White Trash theme party can be a lot of fun for everyone when done right. When done wrong, it can be even more fun.
