For many people, loneliness is a serious, heart wrenching, problem. For others, it’s just another part of life, something that comes and goes. Regardless of your own personal circumstances, there are things you can do to alleviate the feelings of loneliness, if you so choose.
It’s important to understand that feeling lonely isn’t just something that people feel when they are alone. Quite often people find themselves feeling lonely even when with friends or family, or in the midst of a crowd. When this happens, it’s usually more than your garden variety loneliness. In such cases, it’s likely attributable to something much more complex, such as social disconnection or a sign of trouble at home.
In other instances, people find themselves feeling lonely for a certain someone, or a time or place. Whether it is due to the absence of a spouse for extended periods of time, the death of a parent or the pangs that creep in when moving to a new place, the feelings are very similar. Your heart feels empty and you wish for it to be filled once again with what is missing.
As mentioned, regardless of the source of your loneliness, there are things you can do to alleviate the pain and heartache. Below, I’ve outlined some of the things that have worked for me over the years.
Bask in it. Sometimes, there is no point in fighting loneliness, especially if it’s due to an obvious cause. Quite often when this happens, I find it useful to simply let it take over. If you’re lonely because you’re missing someone, for example, rather than try to avoid those feelings, embrace them Open a scrapbook and look at pictures of things that help you to connect with whoever or whatever you are missing. Put on some music you and another might have liked. Immerse yourself in memories . Cry. Sometimes the feelings and memories become so clear and vivid it’s difficult to remember afterwards that they weren’t really happening right there in front of you.
Get a hobby. For me, it’s always been playing guitar. Whenever I get to feeling lonely, there is nothing like being able to express it with the beautiful notes of my electric blues. For you, it might be knitting or photography. The idea is to find something that will take your mind off of whatever is making you lonely, while simultaneously giving you an outlet for your emotions.
Get out and be with people. Undoubtedly you’ve heard this one before. We all know it doesn’t always work. But the thing to remember is this: Sometimes, it does.
Talk to someone. If you have a good friend, talk to them. It doesn’t have to be about whatever is making you lonely. It can be anything. The idea here is to get yourself to speak out loud, more so than to listen. Speaking out loud causes chemical changes in your brain and makes you feel less disconnected from the world, which in turn almost always helps to push away those lonely feelings.
Self indulge. I know, we already do that. Seriously though, there are a number of things we all put off for fear of looking, well, overindulgent. It might be a hot bath, or a walk alone in a park. Or shopping. Perhaps you are the type to disappear in music on your IPod. Whatever it is you hold back on for fear of what others might think, that’s the thing to do. It will help you to see yourself as worthy of such things, and that is quite often the root cause of loneliness in the first place.
Seek out comedy. This is seriously one of the most overlooked avenues for chasing away not only loneliness, but those nasty blues that sneak up on us when we’re not paying attention. Put on a sitcom. Rent a comedy. Buy a CD full of comedy routines. Find whatever makes you laugh, then sit down and commence laughing. There is no quicker way to forget about loneliness than laughter. If you’re lucky, maybe you can even share that laughter with someone else. That’s always just a little bit better.
Get help. Sometimes, loneliness is just a part of another much more serious situation. As someone who has battled depression virtually my entire life, I can tell you I know it’s sometimes impossible to do anything about it on your own. This is when you need to consider getting professional help. Sometimes a little therapy is all that is needed, even if it becomes obvious that all you really needed was someone to listen to you. Other times though, it can be quite different. It seems the current medical thinking is that some of us, sometimes, have problems with the chemicals or connections in our brains and the only way to fix that, is through medication. If this is the case and you haven’t sought help already, please do so, it’s the only thing that will help.
This list I’ve given above are things I’ve done to help me through the lonely times. I’m sure there are other things I could do but haven’t yet thought of. It’s likely there are other things you could do as well. If loneliness bothers you, you might as well pick a good moment and start thinking about what those things might be so that when the lonliness hits, you’ll be ready.
I hope these ideas helped. Loneliness is not something I’d wish on others. Take care, and good luck.
