Shyness can be defined experientially as discomfort and/or inhibition in interpersonal situations that interferes with pursing one’s interpersonal or professional goals. It is a form of excessive self-focus, a preoccupation with one’s thoughts, feelings and physical reactions. It may vary from mild social awkwardness to totally inhibiting social phobia. Shyness may be chronic and dispositional , serving as a personality trait that is central in one’s self definition.
Situational shyness involves experiencing the symptoms of shyness in specific social performance situations but not incorporating it into one’s self-concept. Shyness reactions can occur at any or all of the following levels: cognitive, affective, psychological and behavioral, and may be triggered by a wide variety of arousal cues. Among the most typical are: authorities, one-on-one opposite sex interactions, intimacy, strangers, having to take individual action in a group setting, and initiating social actions in unstructured, spontaneous behavioral settings. Metaphorically, shyness is a shrinking back from life that weakens the bonds of human connection.
Being born timid, easily aroused, and not responsive to social engagement overtures leads to less frequent social interactions with parents, siblings, family and friends, thus promoting a shy response style. Although many children who are shy overcome it in time, many others remain shy all of their lives. However, research also shows that some people have become shy in adulthood who were not so previously, usually due to experiences of rejection, conditions that lower self esteem, and fears of failure in social domains.
Around 15% of children are characterized by a behaviorally inhibited temperament. In infancy these children are irritable, and in early childhood they are cautious and withdraw from social and non-social novelty. Longitudinal research has revealed these temperamental features to be stable from infancy to late childhood. In addition, a high rate of anxiety disorders in the parents of behaviorally inhibited children has been found, and these children are themselves at high risk for frank anxiety disorders.
Research with infants have shown that physiological differences between sociable and shy babies show up as early as two months. Approximately 15 to 20% of newborns may be quiet, vigilant, and restrained in new situations. Stimuli such as moving mobiles and tape recordings of human voices trigger an easily arousable sympathetic nervous system that manifests itself in an increased heart rate, jerky and vigorous movements of arms and legs, excessive crying, and urgent signals of distress. High heart rates have been detected in utero in neonates later defined operationally as timid, or shy. At four years, another sign of sympathetic arousal is shown, a cooler temperature in the right ring finger than the left in response to emotionally evocative stimuli.
The timid children also shows more brain wave activity in the right frontal lobe, in contrast to normally reactive children who display more left side activity. Other research has shown that the right side of the brain is involved in anxiety.1 Hey, I am a right brained person. I guess this explains my shyness!
Evidence that biological components of shyness are a manifestation of a genetic predisposition is found in parents and grandparents of inhibited infants who report childhood shyness more often than relatives of uninhibited children. Furthermore, inhibited infants are more often born in September or October, a time in which the body is producing more melatonin, a neurally active hormone which may be transmitted to the fetus.
It is notable, however, that the physiological or genetic predisposition to inhibition does not develop into shyness 25% of the time. A reaction temperament may need to be aggravated by environmental triggers, such as inconsistent or unreliable parenting, insecurity of attachment in the form of difficult relationships with parents, family conflict of chaos, frequent criticism, a dominating older sibling, or a stressful school environment. Empirical evidence of familial factors has been found in retrospective studies of the childhoods of social phobias relative to those of normal controls; these include criticism for not overcoming fears of embarrassing the family, fewer parental friendships, fewer family social activities, and teaching social skills by correction rather than modeling. In addition, shyness is negatively correlated with perceived maternal acceptance.
Furthermore, many children overcome shyness themselves, some through altruism, others through an association with younger children that promotes leadership behaviors, still others through contact with social peers. Overprotective children, however, are more at risk for anxious self-preoccupation, which interferes with taking others’ perspective, another aspect of empathy that becomes increasingly important as children become adults.
Shyness that lasts into middle childhood may be indicative of concurrent problems and subsequent disorder. Special significance has, however, been ascribed to preadolescent friendships as a means of validating self-worth and buffering against shyness, perceptions of friendship quality, and indices of adjustment related to internalising problems.
Although there is some evidence that shyness manifests itself in withdraw behavior, such behavior does not necessarily reflect shyness. Rather, there are many reasons for social withdrawal, including unsociability, introversion, unpopularity, and depression. In particular, little is known about the prognosis for children who exhibit shyness with unfamiliar individuals. One view is that this form of shyness is not associated with maladjustment during childhood. This derives from a longitudinal study comparing groups of high shy children, which revealed that although shyness within the context of familiar peers was associated with low perceived social competence and elevated loneliness during middle childhood, shy behavior during interactions with unfamiliar people were not.
Middle childhood is also a time when self-awareness and self-consciousness increase. During this period, shy, withdrawn behavior becomes more salient within the peer group and is viewed more negatively. To date, many studies documenting significant relations between shyness and self-esteem have involved adults, or children over the age of 9 years. Furthermore, the preadolescent years (9-12) are viewed as a time of “rapid changes in physical characteristics, cognitive development and social demands that have an impact on shyness and self-esteem.
There are many strategies that can be used to help children overcome shyness. Some strategies may be more effective with some children than with others. Some children may benefit substantially from a parent or teacher pointing out to a child what their shy behavior does to them. A parent or teacher can:
1.Tell the child about times when they acted bashful
2.Explain to the child how they will benefit from acting outgoing
3.Show empathy when the child feels afraid to interact
4.Prevent labeling the child as “shy
5.Set goals for more outgoing behavior and measure progress
6.Set a model of outgoing behavior
7.Expose the child to unfamiliar settings and people
8.Prompt the child to interact with others
9.Reward the child for outgoing behavior
10.Praise others’ outgoing behavior in the presence of the child(There are eighteen strategies, but I just listed ten of them.)
These are the steps taken to help young children overcome shyness by John Malouff, Ph.D., J.D., Associate Professor of Psychology at Nova Southeastern University, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
In closing, according to Dr. Phillip Zimbari, director of the Stanford University Shyness Clinic, shyness is one of the greatest emotional problems in the country. A shocking 140 million Americans are plagued by shyness, 70 million are chronically shy, and another 70 million are shy in some situations. The effect of shyness is often devastating; it robs life of much, makes it a morass of fears, uncertainty, and horror.
The nature of shyness is therefore self-centered, concentrating on the self to the exclusion of others. The shy person limits his strength, thoughts, and activities within a small circle, lest he be objected. He does not dare risk a wider extension of the limits that he has set for himself. He is therefore captive within a circle of his own tracing. He seems to be self-effacing, counterfeiting a goodness that dreads making waves. Actually, however, he is a person whose overt good behavior is endangered by fear. His ego is ever on the alert not for the welfare of others, but for possible slights, insults, or attacks upon his weak identity.
Bibliography
Henderson, Lynn and Zimbardo, Philip (1996). Shyness. Encyclopedia of Mental Health (in press) Academic Press and The Palo Alto Shyness Clinic.
Fordham, Kathryn and Stevenson-Hinde (1999). Shyness, Friendship Quality, and Adjustment During Middle Childhood. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines, 15, 757-768.
Cooper, J. Peter and Eke, Marian. (1999). Childhood shyness and maternal social phobia: a community study. British Journal of Psychiatry, 174, 439-443.
Ph.D., J.D., Malouff, John. (1998). Helping Young Children overcome Shyness. Nova Southeastern University, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Http://www.polaris.nova.edu/~malouff/shyness.htm.
Dr., Gelinas, J. Paul. (1987). Coping with Shyness. The Rosen Publishing Group,Inc.
