Shyness can be debilitating. It can rob people of their dreams and goals in life. If you are a shy person, sometimes you do not speak up, you might have difficulty maintaining relationships or finding friendships and you might withdrawal and isolate yourself from people. In order to over come shyness, you have to take some gradual steps to build your confidence and then get out there in the world and talk to people.
TIPS TO OVERCOME OR CONTROL FEELINGS OF SHYNESS
Tip #1-Start out by smiling at a few strangers each day. Whether you are walking down the street, in a store,
in a restaurant or at work, make it a point to smile at a few people. This will help you to make eye
contact with people, but not necessarily have to speak to them. See how many smiles you get back.
I’m sure you will get at least a few, which will have a positive affect on how you feel about yourself.
Tip #2- Be kind and courteous to people that you meet. Always be nice and have a friendly attitude. If you are
shy but have a negative attitude and outlook on life, then others may pick up on that and may not want to
engage in conversation with you. It is best to always greet people with a smile so that you look like
someone that may be easy to talk to.
Tip #3- Be a good listener. I cannot stress how important it is to listen to what you hear when other people are
speaking. When you listen to other people, you will notice that you may learn new things and have more
to talk about when you talk to other people. People love being heard and listened to. It is good to give
your full undivided attention to someone when you are chatting with them. Make sure to ask them
questions so that it shows you are really interested in what they have to say. For example, if someone
is talking about their child, who is named Julie, and how they just got graduated from high school,
you can then ask “So, does Julie plan on going to college?” This way you show that you remembered
their child’s name as well as showing interest in their child. This will make you a better
conversationalist and give you more confidence to talk to other people. People will start picking up on
your listening abilities and you will probably make a few new friends or acquaintances.
Tip#4- Remember that everyone has flaws. No one is perfect. A shy person sometimes feels that others may
laugh or make fun of them if they speak. They do not like to be the center of attention. No one is perfect.
You have to remember this. You are a unique individual. You may have some talents that others do
not have. No one will know this if you don’t speak up and tell them. Remember, if you think that
someone is laughing at you or making fun of you behind your back, you are probably not right. It is your
mind that is overthinking and racing with negative thoughts that makes you feel this way. If you are right
and someone is laughing or making fun of you, then realize that person is immature and probably
has low self esteem because they are trying to build themselves up by bringing someone else down.
Do not let them defeat you! You aren’t the one acting immature. Don’t keep yourself quiet and
cornered in a room. You are a person just like everyone else and you deserve social interactions just
like everyone else.
Tip#5- Realize that you can be happier if you develop more friendships with people. Friendships are a good
key to your happiness. Friends share things with each other that they may not share with other people,
thus creating bonds that may last a lifetime. Friends bring laughter and joy into your life. If you find
people that you would like to be friends with, it would be sad to let that go because of your shyness.
There are groups on the internet are for shy people. Do a search and look up groups for shy people.
Start taking steps by chatting with people in the shy groups. This may help you to realize that you
are not alone and that people are out there for support and help. You might end up meeting some of
these people and developing some friendships. Then you might be able to move on in your own life
and meet people who are not shy and develop friendships with them as well.
Tip#6- Make yourself interesting. If you make yourself interesting to other people, you will have more
to talk about with them and the conversation will flow much easier. This way it gives you more time to
listen and talk, rather than let your mind wander with negative thoughts. In order to become interesting,
you need to have interests. Is there a tv show you like to watch? How about the last movie you watched?
Do you have a hobby or do you do any activities? Do you like animals? Keep being interested in things
and people. Do research on certain topics. Whether it be fashion, celebrities, tv shows, movies, music
or cars. Keep your mind occupied. This way you will have things to talk about when you talk to other
people.
Each step you take will help you to overcome your shyness. Do not let shyness cripple you or keep you from doing things that you like to do. If you are invited to a party, try to go. Try to mingle and talk to people. Use these tips to help you break out of your shell so that you can show the world what you are made of! You might just be surprised at how many people find you to be interesting.
