In the present modern societies stress in children is a distinct possibility. In the past there were fewer expectations from children but now the expectations of parents, teachers, friends and society have increased manifold and may overwhelm children sometimes. Children are also bombarded daily with the news of terrorism, war and disasters which can add to the stress.
Young children and teens are neither mentally equipped nor do they have the experience of dealing with a stress overload and therefore they need the help of adults to handle it. The good news is that young people are quite resilient and can easily overcome the effects of stress if they are guided properly by adults especially, parents. The following are 10 tips for parents and adults for helping children deal successfully with stress overload.
1. The first step for parents and adults is to recognize the signs of stress. Children react to stress in different way depending on age and mental makeup. Some show aggressive behavior in the form of anger outbursts and violence. Other children may show regressive behavior like withdrawing, acting younger, becoming fearful and becoming clingy. Some of these children show stress by becoming constantly sad and having disturbed sleep or sleeplessness.
2. The best way to deal with stress in children is to encourage conversation. You must look for opportunities to discuss their feelings and emotions. Just talking about their concerns and seeing it in the right perspective with assistance from an adult usually lightens the stress. This can be done during lighter moments like when you are on an outing or while driving or any other situation where the atmosphere is relaxed.
3. Adults may be communicating their own stress to their children. If that is the case stop discussing your problems or concerns in the presence of your children. Try to relax yourself or indulge in relaxing activities together. Stay as calm as possible in the presence of children and don’t take out your frustrations on them.
4. Get involved in some sports or exercising activities together to lighten the stress. Walking, biking, swimming, skating and many other outdoor activities can be planned so that everyone has fun. This will help in changing the general outlook and help in de-stressing a lot. The idea is to get out of a grim atmosphere and have as much fun as possible.
5. Be creative. Find creative ways to handle the stress. On of the way for young children is to use puppets or dolls to act their feelings out. Teens can be encouraged to write down their thoughts in a notebook or journal. Have book reading sessions together and read about the stressful events and hold light discussions about them. This togetherness is valuable for the family as a whole. Sharing thoughts and experiences about stressful times and explaining how your worst fears never came true can be a valuable experience for children. Discussing how other fictional or real characters handled the stress of war, disasters or general difficulties in life, can also be very valuable.
6. Find opportunities to do some volunteer community work together for helping others deal with their problems. These experiences are very valuable and by helping others deal with stressful situation one becomes better equipped to handle his or her own. The experience of being able to help others is a mentally uplifting one.
7. Never devalue or minimize children’s feelings and emotions, acknowledge them however insignificant or ridiculous they may seem to you. They must realize that you take their concerns seriously and only then will they open up to you. You must always be accessible to children and have good communication channels setup with them. Tell them it is OK to feel concerned about something and feel sad.
8. Children may question you about their concerns. Answer them honestly in the manner appropriate for their age. Your answers should not degrade them or ridicule them in any manner. Answer as positively as possible by stressing the brighter side of things. Try to find out if your high expectations of them are causing any problems and find out whether they are realistic or not.
9. Always try to keep your promises and try not to make any that you cannot keep. If a situation arises where you cannot keep a promise explain sincerely and honestly the reasons. Saying that disaster will never happen to your family or community will not ring true and such assurances will be least helpful in reducing stress in children. Instead you can explain logically why the chances are minimal that such things will happen to your family or community and what is being done to ward off or handle any disaster.
10. Keep track of what children are viewing, hearing or discussing at home or in school. Intervene when necessary. Try to be present when children are viewing stressful news on TV and discuss it with them from their perspective. You will be able to recognize any concerns the child may have about something and take remedial action in time. Look for any sudden change in the child’s behavior and try to locate the cause. Be open to discussions about the child’s day at school.
