It would be rather misleading to say that Sylvester Stallone reinvented his body for his role in “Bullet to the Head.” About the only time Stallone appeared in a movie not equipped with a body that looked ready to inflict serious harm on antagonists was the underrated “Cop Land” in which a decidedly flabbier Stallone arguably turned in the finest performance of his career.
The image of a shirtless Stallone making the rounds in advance of the U.S. release of “Bullet to the Head” are enough to put most American men to shame and question whether Stallone has found a way to reinvent not just his own body, but the very concept that it is possible to age on the inside without any apparent evidence that you are doing so on the outside. Either Mr. Stallone is one of the most disciplined and committed human beings on the planet or somewhere up in his attic is a portrait even scarier than the face of Joan Rivers in some parallel universe in which plastic surgery was never invented.
Those Brad Pitt-esque abs highlight an upper body that creates a sinewy composition of taut skin, rippling muscles and detonating veins that is more than matched by his powerful arms. Movieline.com has collected a handful of images of a shirtless Stallone that trace the progress of his physique from “Rocky” to “Bullet to the Head.” Just in case you were wondering, those images represent the fantastic voyage of a body that had yet to see its 30th year in existence to a body just a few years shy of its 70th birthday. This small collection also reveals that Stallone has successfully reinvented his body to suit a new role many times over the course of his long career.
The most recent Stallone model may well be the most impressive and not just because of his age. One could make a fairly good case that the body Stallone invented for “Bullet to the Head” is one that even a certain boxer named Balboa might envy.
Yes, truly, it is very difficult to look at Stallone’s shirtless torso in the still from “Bullet to the Head” when you are a 50 year old man with a considerably less solid frame and not experience a sickening feeling of envy. The upside is the realization that the vast majority of males twenty and thirty years younger than you are also experiencing the same wave of nausea upon having to admit that a guy older Meat Loaf, Tom Delay and both Lenny and Squiggy is in better shape in his 60s than they ever have been or ever will be.
Not that all of us who must wilt beneath this living incarnation of Michelangelo’s statue of King David can’t parlay at least a little of the age-resisting magic found by Stallone to get into at least the best shape possible. A video that already has a very impressive million and a half views on YouTube is likely to witness a significant spike in viewers once “Bullet to the Head” hits theaters. If you want to take a shot at getting a body that bears even the slightest resemblance to the latest reinvented figure of Sylvester Stallone, then hit the mute button to avoid the atrociously irritating musical accompaniment and determine if you are up for doing the exercises that Stallone worked in as part of his preparation for “Bullet to the Head.
Warning: replicating Stallone’s moves will require far more effort than copying those Gangnam dance moves you perfected. Of course, if you are successful, you may look more like Sylvester Stallone than PSY, so that’s reason enough to try, right?
