Thankfully, there are plenty of choices, when it comes to finding an ice cream parlor. You can drop by Carvel, which is known for its former owner’s advertisements, that extolled the values of eating Cookie Pus. There is Dairy Queen, which is known in the Northeast for its Pick Up Windows. This is a good place to “pick up” a date and a higher cholesterol reading, in addition to an ice cream cone. Baskin Robbins is a perennial favorite, with its 1 billion flavors, and Ben and Jerry’s always seems to have odd named products. This would include Lime Flavored Antifreeze and I Can’t Believe this is 7-11 coffee flavored ice cream.
After eating at many of these establishments, and some local competitors that haven’t made the big time, I am something of an ice cream expert. My belly hovers farther away from the belt after each tasting, and the weight scale cries when I step on it. In search of the perfect ice cream, I decided to try a Cold Stone Creamery. Their advertisements caught my eye, as they claim to have the freshest ice cream. They have been highly successful, with over 1300 stores being built in under 20 years. In Northern Virginia, they occupy every street corner, much like a “cocktail waitress with a Dolly Parton wig” as described by the country band Confederate Railroad.
I decided to go for something exciting on my first visit. The chocolate waffle cone that I ordered was a bit disappointing, and at a price tag of $4.61 for a little over a single scoop, it was not favorable on my wallet. While it was not as bad as a fast food ice cream cone, it lacked the necessary flavor to be worthy of its price tag. It was fresh, which to their credit is what they advertised, but the quality was a bit below premium. It melted quickly in the reasonably cool store, and the waffle was downright disgusting. It tasted like an old Eggo that had been sitting around, as it was the very definition of stale. It broke apart easily, and led to a rather messy dessert meal.
After this visit of low satisfaction, I decided to give them a try on one of their original flavors, with their Coffee Ice Cream. In addition to the coffee, it has almonds, caramel, and Heath Bars. It looks like everything was mixed in together equally, and it has a distinctive flavor. This is due to the delicious candy bars and caramel, but the coffee taste was disappointing. At $4 for a cup of this, I would expect it to taste like one of Starbucks or Caribou’s exotic beverages from Africa. Instead, it tasted like the local gas station blend, that is sold on the street for “donations only.” This led to my decision that is not worth checking out any other of their flavors.
I did try a milkshake, so that I could at least say I gave them another chance. Their large vanilla shake cost $4, and it is of decent size. It is also thick, as in the way a milkshake should be. However, the flavor was again nothing special, and I believe it possible to get a much better product elsewhere. The cup that it was placed in did hold up, and this is a shake that you almost need a spoon for. They offer a variety of sizes on this, and even smaller ones for little ones who haven’t acquired full use of their taste buds.
The service has been below average. The first time I went in there, I had to practically yell to get assistance, as the employees were busy discussing “who’s dating who,” and ” Do you think she likes me, even though she dropped an anvil on my head?” Each time has been slow, even though they have not been busy. During summer periods, they do have lines out the door for some reason, but the lines were only two or three at most. The employees didn’t seem to knowledgeable about their products either, and were not able to recommend any product that I would like according to my horned rim glasses conservative taste.
The comfort level was decent. They could use benches with padding, considering their contributions towards healthy dining, but they have wooden chairs that are attached to tables. These are a lot like the local prison. The chairs offer good support, although they are a bit uncomfortable if you sit there for an extended period of time. They also are not going to make taller people happy, with the arrangement of being attached together. As for cleanliness, they were above average, as the tables, service area, and bathrooms were clean.
I cannot recommend Cold Stone Creamery. They are below their competitors when it comes to selections and quality of products. If you are going to spend $4 for an ice cream cone, I would suggest going to Baskin Robbins or your local Uncle Ernie’s/ Its a shame as their advertisements are appealing, but they just cannot compete with their sub par products. I am however interested in seeing if my wife, would like to drop an anvil on me, if I eat there again.
