Depression has become a blanket term that’s used to describe any period of time when someone is feeling a bit down. In reality, there are different forms of depression. Depression isn’t a state of mind; it’s a brief range of disorders that have a direct impact on the person’s ability to perform daily functions. Symptoms range from severe to mild, and can be followed by or coupled with bouts of mania.
By the time I was 12, I had experienced every form of depression. It seemed as if I was given a smorgasbord of medications, none of which worked. The problem then was that it was believed that depression was a reflection of your chemical state. Even at 12, I knew better.
My depression was a direct result of my lifestyle. Oddly enough, it became it’s most severe after a spell in my life that was the happiest for me. You see, I didn’t realize how horrible my world was until I got away from it. When I had to go back, the depression set in with a vengeance.
By the time I was eight, I had dealt with levels and varieties of abuse that are so bizarre as to be beyond the reach of even some of the best horror writers. Then, my mother and grandmother died in a car accident and I went to live with my step-mother and father, whom I hadn’t even seen for three years. With this change came an entirely new realm of abuse. At eight years old, I was suicidal, but still not as depressed as I would later become.
By the time I turned 12, I had been passed off to relatives, but was eventually called back to my father. The move back and the potential reinstatement of the abuse by my step-mother was more than I could stand. I lived for school and my books. But, even that was not enough. My experience with depression was such that I slept on the way to school, as well as through some of my classes. When I got home I did my homework and went to bed. I simply could not stay awake. I wasn’t suicidal because I didn’t have the energy to be.
Eventually, my father took me to a doctor. I was diagnosed with all sorts of things that were incorrect because they didn’t believe the things I told them about my life. It was only after my step-mother showed her true colors in a unique fashion that they realized I had severe depression.
None of the pills worked and no one even thought about diet then. However, after I was out of the situation long enough and began to realize that I was a human being with my own spark of life, I began to shake off the fog that had seemed to overwhelm me for so long.
The problem now is that depression is an easy rut to fall into. Today I have to be proactive about dealing with the onset of depression. When I feel its sluggish tentacles begin to twine themselves through my mind, I change my diet, exercise, and remind myself that there were much worse times than any I have before me.
Escape was my salvation. For some, the issue really is a chemical imbalance. For others, like me, depression is brought on by circumstance. I can best prevent it by living a healthy lifestyle and surrounding myself with positive people and continuously striving to meet my goals.
