Spring and summer is the height of wedding season in America, though lately Christmas weddings have become more popular than bad singers on American Idol. In Japan, spring is also a big season for weddings, but the Japanese prefer to bypass the summer vacation season to practice the Oriental art of gettin’ hitched in the cool, cool of the fall. Japanese weddings are, as you might expect, highly traditional. Obviously, all weddings are exercises in ancient ritual, the meaning of which eludes all but the most dedicated of folklorist, but compared to general traditions associated with most western weddings, getting married in Japan is a truly amazing experience.
For instance, remember those old movies where the prospective bridegroom had to show up at the house of his intended and ask her father for permission to take his daughter’s hand in matrimony? The Japanese are, it must be admitted, a bit more-shall we say formal-than most westerners. An ancient Japanese wedding tradition known as Mi-Ai still takes place today, though it is not quite as stiff and restrictive as in days of yore. Until the turn of the century, the “Mi-Ai” interview of a man and woman was more of a formality than an opportunity to know each other with a view to marriage. The Mi-Ai interview was an occasion for the once and future groom to wrangle an invitation to the house of a possible wifely opportunity. Should the woman have drawn his favor, the prospective groom would signify his intentions by leaving behind a token of his acceptance in the form of a fan. And if the object of the groom’s intentions were not as favorably impressed? Well, now that hardly mattered, of course. The Mi-Ai interview
still lives on today in a far less formal arrangement; today the meeting is set up by a mediating go-between with the intention of letting the potential bride and groom get to know each other better. It can only be assumed, I would hope, that if the meeting doesn’t impress the prospective bride that she need not go through with the union.
Yui-no is a Japanese term that translates roughly into the verb “apply.” The meaning has been fiddled around with to apply in the case of Japanese wedding traditions to indicate an opportunity for the opposing families-opposing, is that really the term I want?-to unite through dining and drinking. Yui-no still exerts a strong influence in the courtship ritual of Japanese brides and grooms. During the Yui-no meeting, the two families will exchange gifts with the primary consideration for the prospective bride being what is called Obi, a gift intended to symbolize virtuousness. In exchange for the Obi, the bridegroom receives a Hakama skirt which is representative of fidelity to his bride.
Japanese weddings can be as distinctive as a Catholic wedding is from a Mormon wedding. There are basically four distinct types of wedding ceremonies in Japan, broken down and individualized according to religious traditions. The most common is the Shinto because that is the primary religion of the country. In addition to Shinto there are also ceremonies that mark the cultural aspects of Buddhism and Christianity, and of course there is a civil ceremony that avoids religious interference.
The Shinto Japanese wedding ceremony is highly ritualistic and traditional, presided over by a Shinto priest. This type of ceremony begins with the Shinto priest practicing an ancient purification service and traditionally takes place in either Shinto shrine or sanctuary. The bride will wear a white kimono representing purity, along with a usually rather intricate headdress. The groom wears a black kimono along with a stripe Hakama, not necessarily the one he received at the Yui-no. The Shinto wedding ceremony is rather short in comparison to some of the excruciatingly long wedding ceremonies practiced in America, involving several rituals enacted by the priest as well as the taking of an oath of faithfulness read by the groom. It will then be time for the San-San Kudo, sometimes known as the Three-Times-Three Exchange, involving ritualistic nuptial cups. As with western ceremonies, the bride and groom will also exchange wedding rings.
The Christian and Buddhist wedding ceremonies are basically just intrusions into the Japanese culture of foreign religious iconography. Typically what is meant by a Christian wedding ceremony in Japan is something more along the simple Protestant range rather than the indulgences of the Catholic hypocrisies. As for the Buddhist wedding ceremonies in Japan, they include such rituals as traditional Buddhist prayer, the burning of incense, and oaths of fidelity.
