The person who said, “Don’t throw your money down the toilet!” obviously never used a cheap brand of toilet paper! Laugh if you must, but I know that you’ll be laughing, because you know exactly what I’m talking about!
You’ve surely been in the bathrooms that have the thin toilet paper that barely holds together when you try to unroll it. Or, worse, you may have experienced the paper that separates at every square. I’ve not yet decided if it’s because the perforation is too good, or if the manufacturers think you’ll get frustrated and quit trying to take a big handful. (I’ve definitely had the “too frustrated” experience.) Or worse yet, some public restrooms just dispense single squares, as if that would clean anything!! Most times one sheet doesn’t even cover your palm… just how are you supposed to take care of business with that?
According to www.toiletpaperworld.com, the first toilet paper roll was produced in 1879, but was marketed under a private label, due to the awkwardness of the topic. (Did they think that other people weren’t pooping?) However, at the turn of the 1900’s, they did away with the private label and went public. Check out the marketing angle: Scott advertisements were suggesting that “over 65% of middle-aged men and women suffered from some sort of rectal disease”. Inferior toilet paper was deemed to be responsible. It was printed in Scott advertisements that “harsh toilet tissue may cause serious injury”.
I have been on the receiving end of what felt like sandpaper but I’ve never considered cheap, rough toilet paper as a possibility for injury. However, this may bring up a whole new series of lawsuits in 2008! But, I digress….
What amazes me most is this: We have put a man on the moon, invented computers that you can carry around with you, put a microwave in almost every home in the U.S. and carry cell phones that allow us to talk to anyone at anytime, yet it seems that we’ve not made much improvement to this all important invention, toilet paper. Why? Since it’s something that everyone uses every day you would think that someone would have come up with a better idea.
It’s amazing the amount of information that is available about such a mundane subject at toilet paper. Another of the many fascinating facts I found a www.toiletpaperworld.com: “The pentagon uses, on average, about 666 rolls of toilet paper every day.” Now, let’s face it, we all know that the majority of government is full of it – so does this surprise anyone???
My personal favorite is Charmin. I feel that it is the softest, yet most durable for the dirty job at hand. I’ve tried others but always been disappointed in alternative brands. Most recently I purchased a sale pack of 12. It was a good bargain and I felt like the name brand should be sufficient to pamper my unmentionables. My husband quickly pointed out the error of my ways. I tried sneaking it into the kids’ bathroom, but – no – they wouldn’t accept the bargain priced imitation. So, what am I to do with the several rolls I have left? I have no idea. (At the moment I’m saving them for the crisis shout of “We’re out of toilet paper!!!” At which point, even the cheap stuff is a welcome sight!) I considered giving it to the kids to use when they go T.P’ing but decided that might be considered “contributing to the delinquency of a minor.”
All this brings me to the conclusion that although a soft cushy toilet paper may be a little more expensive, it is NOT throwing my money down the toilet. If we can go to spas, add the extras to our cell phone service, and upgrade our cable, then, by golly, I can splurge on the GOOD toilet paper. There are just some things that you can’t scrimp on. It may even be less expensive if I consider the money I save not having to buy Preparation H.
Sound off! What’s your favorite (and least favorite) brand?
