Many couples choose to recite traditional vows during a wedding ceremony. However, more and more couples are choosing to compose and recite their own marriage vows. Wedding vows written by the bride and groom offer a more personal and sentimental touch to a ceremony. Additionally, writing personal vows offers couples the added benefit of being able to elaborate on, or omit, traditional wedding vows which may not apply. Personalized vows also have the unique opportunity of highlighting special moments or memories in a couple’s journey together.
The quandary many brides or grooms-to-be face however, is reconciling their desire for personal vows with their self-consciousness or self-doubt. Many fear their vows won’t be “good” enough, or that their sentiments of love or commitment won’t be communicated effectively. Some may not know how to begin or end their vows, or what vows should contain. Ideally, marriage vows should contain affirmations of love, promises of commitment, and hopes for the future.
Affirmations of Love
This is a touching way to begin personal wedding vows. There are many options when considering this first step in the composition process. Some ideas of beginning vows include statements like:
I knew I loved you when…, The first time we met, I knew…, There are hardly words to express my love, but I will try…
All of those statements and ones like them are fine jumping off points to expand on affirmations of love. A few follow-up declarations of love, trust and feelings that a future spouse evoke help make vows meaningful.
Promises of Commitment
These will be the main attraction while reciting vows, and should be carefully considered. One question one may consider is how they plan to honor the marital commitment. What promises are they making to their future spouse? Some ways to begin this portion of the personalized vows may include statements such as:
As your husband, I promise to…, I vow to always…, I swear I will always…
It is important to include promises that both parties value deeply in a marriage. This portion of the vows can also showcase the personality of the bride or groom and highlight their relationship. One groom for example, told his bride in their personal vows that he promised not to let his beer belly get too big. Promises like that, alongside more serious and sentimental commitments can be an endearing touch to personal vows.
Hopes for the Future
When people marry, they believe it is forever. They affirm their love, and commit to each other. An impressive way to conclude personal vows is to express hopes for the future of the marriage. This can be articulated in a myriad of ways. One option is to pray for many more years together. Another inspiring way to communicate faith for a long, happy marriage is to remark on the sustained marriage of a couple close to both the bride and groom. For example:
I only hope we can be as happy together as your grandparents…, I can’t wait to grow old with you…,This is the first day of what I hope is a very long life together…
The above examples are all ways to convey anticipation of a marriage that will last an entire life.
Wedding vows personally written by the bride and groom present a unique opportunity for the couple to publicly articulate their love and commitment to one another. They also offer guests a glimpse into what drew the couple together and how the couple prepares to honor each other in marriage. Personal vows can be a source of worry when one doesn’t know where to begin or how to communicate their love. Following the guidelines outlined above will certainly aid in the process, and hopefully, inspire vows that will make any bride or groom swell with love.
