It’s so much fun to head over to somebody’s house and just hang out for awhile, but the fun can quickly fade when you’ve overstayed your welcome and lost track of time. When you go from being a welcome guest to a “will they ever leave” annoyance, it’s best to know the signs so you can still leave on a good note.
Your hosts are likely going to be polite about you hanging around too long, so you have to watch out for the subtle clues. The most obvious one is when lulls in conversation and fidgeting start occurring. It’s your host’s way of winding down your visit, and an obvious sign that you’ve accomplished everything about your visit that you needed to. When you hear crickets chirping and you’ve been visiting for more than an hour, take a clue and announce that it’s time to head home and thanks for the visit. Your host will then jump up and exclaim how happy they were to see you and show you the door in lightning speed.
Your host will also start looking at the time frequently and obviously, and start hinting at the book they needed to get to, that phone call they needed to make, or that so-and-so will be coming home “any minute. They will also start yawning a lot, and proclaiming how late it’s getting. When your host starts announcing little things they need to get to, they are trying to tell you that it’s been a great visit, but they need to get back to their daily lives now, thanks. Take that cue by announcing the things you also need to get to and politely leave.
You can also just place your own personal time limit on your visit, and once you hit that half hour or hour mark, take the situation into consideration and see if you really want to leave, or if your host is getting annoyed and bored with you. If a half hour into your visit you’re still having a blast and gabbing away, add another 15 minutes to your visit and keep looking for signs your host is ready for you to head out the door. Try to keep your visit at an appropriate time limit, like an hour or 2, which is ample for just talking and catching up. Exceptions to this are parties and events that you are part of, which can be 3 or 4 hours long, appropriately.
If you’re unsure if you’ve overstayed your welcome or not, start saying things like, “Oh, look at the time!” and judge your host’s response. If they want you to stay, they’ll announce it’s not that late, and likely draw you into another conversation or activity. If they want you to leave, or feel that you want to get the hell out of there, they’ll grab onto your cue and say, “Oh, it IS late! I’ve got to get dinner going!” and show you to the door.
Of course, if you haven’t overstayed your visit and want to make sure you don’t get held hostage all night, announce as soon as you arrive to your gabby Aunt’s house that you wanted to stop by for a “quick visit” before you headed off to another event (make one up if you must) and say that you can only stay for a few minutes. This way, you have an escape if you need one, can still entertain your host, and leave before it’s so late you don’t get anything else done.
Source:
personal experience
