Have you been a victim of domestic violence? Would you like to recover from the emotional and physical trauma that you have gone through? To help understand how you can recover from domestic violence and what type of professional help is available, I have interviewed therapist Maren Gleason, LCSW.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. While providing psychotherapy or counseling, social workers tend to take a systemic look at problems in families, including at least three generations, along with societal and environmental factors in our understanding of individuals. I view families in terms of the impact each person has on other family members and the functioning of the family as a whole. In college, I received my training in working with families and children at the Giarretto Institute in San Jose and at Children’s Hospital in Oakland. I have over ten years experience working with children and families in foster care, in the juvenile justice system, and in private practice.
What type of impact can domestic violence have on a person’s overall life?
“Domestic violence, often referred to just in terms of physical violence, can actually be comprised of physical, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse that is passed down through generations in families. Domestic violence is not just an individual matter, with the exception of individuals who are truly unable to control their behavior, but rather a family affair. Domestic violence may include abusive behavior that escalates between partners with one person taunting another into more aggressive behavior. Both women and men can be involved as either the apparent violent partner or the one who escalates the other. Abuse by siblings can also have life-time impacts. Parents who are violent towards each other and/or their children can unwittingly pass on a legacy of abuse through generations of their family. An individual may downplay the danger of domestic violence to himself or herself and to his or her children. Children who witness parents hitting, or pushing, or shoving each other or who are hit by parents or siblings may withdraw socially, demonstrate low self-esteem, or may become aggressive in school or at home. Children from violent homes often struggle to form meaningful relationships as adults. Both girls and boys are at risk for continuing domestic violence in intimate relationships as adults. As adults, they may become violent themselves or fall victim to violence from partners. The message they grew up with was that love and violence go hand-in-hand in relationships.”
How can someone recover from the trauma of domestic violence?
“A person can recover from the trauma of domestic violence by understanding the types of messages he or she was given in childhood regarding relationships, love, fear, abandonment, and how to cope with difficult feelings. Understanding these messages and how they play out in an individual’s current relationships, helps put domestic violence into perspective. With support, an individual can learn what environmental and emotional triggers cause symptoms of withdrawal or aggression in his or her couples and family relationships. With support, an individual can learn to develop new coping strategies and form better, safer, and stronger relationships.
What type of professional help is available for someone who has experienced domestic violence?
“Working with someone who can help you assess the level of current risk to yourself and your family is essential. If you feel you or your family members are currently at risk, you can seek support at a shelter or designated safe place in your community. While there are many groups available for longer term treatment, I recommend that individuals seek support from someone, a therapist or counselor, who can understand a systemic perspective of their history of domestic violence. A systemic perspective includes the individual’s family history of relationships in order to provide the most in depth and individualized treatment.”
What last advice would you like to leave for someone who is trying to recover from domestic violence?
“There is hope for you and for your family. Domestic violence is a family affair. Therapy or counseling can include individual work and may include couples counseling and family therapy. As you recover, you can change your life and the life of your family for generations to come.”
If you would like more information or have any questions you can contact Maren Gleason at (925) 838-2375, [email protected] or check out her website at http://www.marengleason.com.
