Unplanned, teenage pregnancy can prevent a girl from carrying on with her normal, every day pursuits, such as completing her education, spending time with her friends and enjoying her free time. So unless she is already married and has planned for this pregnancy, she will have a great deal of obstacles to overcome in her quest to be a good mother. But it is not an impossible plight. Teenage mothers can become very good mothers and future role models for their sons and daughters, with the right help and support. This article will concentrate on how family members can help teenage mothers to reach their full potential.
How to help teenage mothers succeed #1 Encourage girls to complete their education
However tempting it may be for teenage mothers to drop out of high school, their family and friends should encourage them to stay on and complete their education. A girl with at least a high school diploma stands a far better chance of providing a more financially stable life for herself and her baby, than a girl who drops out of school before graduation. Girls who drop out of high school are more likely to live below the poverty line and struggle for years in order to adequately provide for their children. There are many opportunities for teenage mothers to complete their education than there used to be. Homeschooling may be the best option. Another option is childcare during the day time while your daughter is in school.
How to help teenage mothers succeed #2 Do not drive your daughter away
Unless a girl has been raped, parents are likely to feel a great deal of disappointment in their daughter if she becomes pregnant while she is still a teenager. They may blame themselves and wonder how they went wrong, or take out all their anger and frustration on their daughter. However much pain you as parents may feel, please do not express it to such a degree that you drive your daughter away from you when she needs you the most. Yes, she has acted irresponsibly, but she does not deserve to be given a guilt trip for years to come about where she went wrong. Deal with your feelings, in private if possible, and try to provide a united front so that your daughter knows you still love her and that you want to help her succeed. She will respond better to this than a screaming match that makes her feel worthless.
How to help teenage mothers succeed #3 Enlist the support of the father
If your teenage daughter is already married, then this will not even be an issue. But if the father of her baby is still in the picture, then he needs to become responsible for his child. He may well request a paternity test. It is his right to do so if he has reason to suspect he may not be the father. After all, would it be fair to make a young man pay for a child that is not his own? Once paternity has been established, he will be financially responsible for his child for the next 18 years of the baby’s life. But more than just providing financial support, he also has a right to be a part of his child’s life. Unless the father is a danger, do not block him out of his child’s life. The child will thank you in years to come for allowing them to get to know their father, whether he is still involved with their mother or not.
How to help teenage mothers succeed #4 Teach your daughter how to be a good mother
Teenagers do not instinctively know how to be good mothers, nor do older mothers. It does not come naturally to all people. So before your grandchild is born, teach your daughter about what to expect when her baby arrives. She will need to know about how to change and bathe her baby, feeding techniques, disturbed sleep and how to budget. If possible, encourage your daughter to take on a light part-time job, so that she can earn some money to help contribute to her baby’s nursery. Children are not cheap and she will soon realize that. You can help your daughter by throwing a baby shower and helping to collect some items for the baby. But teach your daughter that she may have to make do with some second hand baby clothes and items.
How to help teenage mothers succeed #5 Let your daughter be the mother
Some grandparents step into their teenage daughter’s shoes and become their grandchild’s “mother”. This is not wise. The baby needs to know who the real mother is and to know who the grandparents are. If your daughter cannot cope with dealing with her baby because of drug or alcohol abuse, then you will be more entitled to step in and offer assistance. But if your daughter is capable in every other way, let her fulfill her role. You should only be there to offer support and suggestions.
Teenage mothers who succeed in raising their children themselves are to be commended. They have put in a great deal of time, energy and resources and made sacrifices to help nurture their children. With the proper support and care, teenage mothers can become more than just a statistic; they can become good mothers.
