Many parents assume that empathy is an in-born trait, and that we naturally feel a sense of empathy for others. Anyone who has dealt with a difficult or special-needs child knows that this isn’t always the case. Particularly during the toddler and preschool years, some kids need an extra nudge to help them develop empathy at a normal rate. In these cases, activities to teach toddlers empathy can help to encourage their emotional and moral development.
My toddler demonstrates some empathy toward her friends, but I noticed that her ability to empathize with others was inconsistent and not quite on par with her same-age peers. I made up an empathy game– an activity using cards with pictures– to gauge her emotional development and to help foster an ability to understand the emotions of others. It is now one of her favorite games, and I’ve noticed improvement in her interactions with others.
Try this activity for teaching empathy to toddlers.
Preparation
Cut out six square pieces of paper and one heart shape. Using a pen or marker, draw the following simple faces on the cards.
-a “happy” face (a classic smiley)
-a “laughing” face (a smiley with eyes slanted outward and an open mouth)
-a “sad” face (with a frown instead of a smile)
-an “angry” face (a frowning face with eyes slanted inward)
-a “crying face” (an exaggerated frowning face with an open mouth, outward-slanted eyes, and tears)
Labeling
The ability to label emotions is a key element in the development of empathy. Show your child each card, one at a time, and ask your toddler to describe the face on the card. Mimic the face’s expression and alter your tone of voice. Enthusiastically say, “How does this face feel? That’s right, he’s very, very happy! Yay!”
When you demonstrate the sad faces, pout and sniffle, saying, “Poooooor face, he is sooooo sad. Maybe he is lonely or bored. Maybe he needs a hug.” Your toddler will also begin to imitate the emotions of the faces on the cards. After you have labeled all of the face’s emotions, move on to the next step of the activity for teaching empathy to toddlers.
Helping
Encourage your toddler to try to influence the emotions of the picture-cards. For example, you can show your toddler the “angry” card and say, “He’s very angry! Maybe he didn’t have a nap today! What can you do to make him feel better?”
Suggest that your toddler try “sharing” the cut-out heart– a symbolic gift or shared toy–with the face. Then replace it with the “happy” face. Point out that the face feels all better and that your child has helped him feel happy again. Then move onto another card. For the “sad” and “crying” faces, you can suggest that your child share to cut-out heart. Alternatively, your child might try to hug, kiss, tickle or tell jokes to the upset cards.
When your child gives a response that would positively alter his hypothetical playmates’ emotions, you can switch them with a “happy” or “laughing” card. Every time you do this, explain the reasoning behind the friend’s behavior. Try saying, “You have made him SO happy by sharing that heart-toy with him!”
Real-Life Application
Your toddler may begin to learn the answers to questions like, “How can you make him feel better?” or “Why do you think he’s sad?” Next time your child is playing with a real-life friend, try asking these questions. Your toddler will have learned that he can make his friends feel better by sharing toys, giving hugs or otherwise making attempts to understand their emotions.
Some children may have persistent difficulties experiencing empathy. If, by age three, your toddler demonstrates little or no understanding of other people’s emotions, mention it to his pediatrician. Narcissism is a normal phase of toddler development, but a persistent lack of empathy may signal an underlying problem, such as hearing difficulties, neurological abnormality, chronic pain and mental retardation.
