So far we have looked at the role of women being centered on the home in the 1950’s. We saw how the first lady, Mamie Eisenhower endorsed that view, and how even the media through television sitcoms perpetuated the myths. However, this lifestyle also coined the “housewife syndrome” was acculturated in all aspects of life. So strong were these social mores that they were taught to young high school girls in every area of the country.
Here are some points that were taken out of a high school textbook for a home economics class of 1954. My opinion under each point in the section called note has also been added.
How to be a good housewife
Make sure dinner is on the table, your man is hungry when he gets home, with dinner waiting it will be a warm welcome for him. Plan ahead and figure out the dinner the night before. You will be showing him you are concerned about his needs and are thinking about him.
Note: This point in my opinion is fair enough. However there must be room for days that just went wrong and dinner is not waiting on the table. What happens if a child gets sick, the furnace breaks, the base floods, the roast get burnt or the woman is just plain tired?
“Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.”
Note: The above-mentioned quote I felt I just had to leave in tack. What women who has just dealt with screaming children has time to freshen up with makeup? How unreal can this view of marriage bliss get?
Get rid of clutter, pick up all toys, papers and everything hanging around the main part of the house and dust the table tops, so that when your husband comes home he will have a haven and feel picked up and you will feel picked up too.
Note: The 1950’s housewife certainly had a career didn’t she, and it was all so that her husband could feel lifted up. Gee who was going to lift her up, oops there I go with my big mouth just let you in on the work of Betty Freidan, and the next topic we will tackle.
Get the children ready, wash their hands and faces, put them in clean clothes and comb their hair if they are little, so that.” They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Note: Gee should the wife have them stand at attention and salute too? Or bow to the king as he comes in? Children are children, it is my opinion that they should act and be themselves. I realize a person is tired when he or she comes home after a hard day’s work. So asking the children to quiet down is sufficient but as we all know it is not always possible with little ones, they like to cry a lot.
Keep the noise in the house down to a minimal. Your husband will not want to hear the noise of the washer and dryer or the vacuum cleaning when he arrives. Show that you are happy to see your man. Smile and let him know you are happy he is home.
Note: Eliminate all noise? Is he walking into a real home or a mausoleum?
Now that we have gotten to all the good things to do, it is time to take a look at all the wrong things to do.
Don’t complain, don’t tell him about your day, don’t whine, or talk about the kids, greet him with a smile, kiss him and speak in a low voice. Make him comfortable. You should have a refreshment waiting for him, let him relax in his favorite chair, bring him his slippers, or let him lay down to rest awhile, and fluff up his pillows for him. Whatever your issues are, remember they are never as grueling as the issues he had to face at work.
Note: You know Hollywood made a movie about this. It was called the Stepford Wives and it aired in 1975 and then again a remake was made in 2004. It was about the perfect woman and wife according to the male ego. In my opinion they were a bunch of robots (figure of speech) impersonating real women in the role of housewives. These women may have been every man’s dream but gosh what a life.
Listen to what he has to say, you may have many things to tell him but let him talk first and get off his chest whatever he has to say.
Note: What if he is not a talker when does the woman get a chance to talk?
The evening should be his. Don’t complain if he never takes you out for dinner, or takes you out anywhere for that matter, try to understand he has had a hard time at work and he needs to be in the sanctuary of his home to relax and unwind.
“The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.”
My final thoughts
Here we have the school system teaching young girls how to become good housewives, but where did they teach them how to become young women with brains and needs of their own? This whole good housewife model was for the man. Not one need of the woman was ever considered. The woman was just a maid and baby setter. She had no life of her own. She was there to serve her husband’s bidding. He was king of the castle and she was his servant and bedmate.
I do not want to take away from the housewife it is an important role and one of the most important roles in life. However, I want to bring to awareness that although a woman was doing this role in the 1950’s and doing it well, she did not have a life of her own. What was there for her to do besides take care of the house, her husband, and children? She had to plan when she could talk to her husband about serious home matters. Where was the spontaneity, where was the normal family life of each person just being him or herself? Why did she have to find just the right time to speak to her husband; her soul mate? Why were her needs not as important as her husband’s? Why was she a second-class citizen? Finally who cared if she was happy as long as her husband was?
We will find out in the next installment that one suburban housewife, Betty Friedan cared if the American suburban middle class housewife was happy because she lived that life and wrote about it in her classic book, The feminine Mystique.
