The title sounds quite odd, does it not? Or is it misleading? I personally think medical terminology is rather strange, especially how it can mislead people from a non-medical background. There is an extensive list of bizarre medical terms that define health conditions or medical processes, yet they all sound like small jokes between the medical colleagues. As a former student of medical terminology class, I would like to try to “professionalize” the terms. All right, let us not be too serious, because the terms really are quite hilarious. Here are a few of them.
My first impression was that some medical doctor has been watching too much horror movies of the arising of zombies in some remote valley’s village. To others, it may sounds like a popular place for the young and wild people to be entertained in a fiesta fashion. Valley Fever is a serious lung infection caused by inhaling an air-born fungus called Coccidioides Immitis. It lies dormant in the soil of Southwestern states (such as the desert areas of Arizona) until desert winds stir up the spores. Travelers and residents alike can be infected and symptoms include high fever, rash, pneumonia, meningitis, and sometimes even death. There is currently no vaccine for the infection. Healthy people usually recover from the infection and develop their own immunity for future encounters. I would name this “spiromycosis.” Spiro- is for “respiration;” myc/o- is for “fungus;” -osis is for “the condition of.” Fortunately, there is an official term for it, but it must be too difficult for the doctors to pronounce. It is coccidioidomycosis.
Labyrinthitis
Ever has that frustrating experience where the navigator in your vehicle malfunctions and you find yourself driving in circles? If so, common people would call that “Labyrinthitis.” By simply adding “-itis,” everything becomes a medical term. In fact, labyrinthitis has nothing to do with being lost. It is a condition in which the inner becomes inflamed and irritated due to bacteria or virus infection, extreme stress, and sudden change in pressure (such as scuba diving) causing balance problem and possibly hearing loss. The term “labyrinth” corresponds to the labyrinth in the ear which houses the vestibular system. Prochlorperazine is usually prescribed to alleviate the symptoms followed by vestibular rehabilitation therapy (VRT) if needed. Unfortunately, there is no other official medical term for the condition. It is possible to name it as “endovestibulotitis.” Endo- means “within;” vestibule- pertains to the ear structure; ot/o- means “ear;” –itis means “inflammation of.” It may twist more tongues, but it sounds much more “professional.”
Wet Mount
In the medical field, whenever colleagues or patients hear the word “wet” in terminology, they would instinctively respond with a chill along the spine or a sense of disgust for an awful sight. The simple term of Wet Mount can easily mislead a person from a non-medical background. As a student in the medical field, I have developed immunity against such misleading, and I simply think of the term as one of the processes of examination under a microscope in microbiology. In the doctor’s office, however, Wet Mount refers to the process of vaginal examination for common conditions such as yeast infection, inflammation, pain, odor, or discharge. Because I have developed immunity against such awful-sounding terms, even the terms “vaginitis,” or “gynecological examination” still sound much more pleasant. Imagine a patient comes into the office and the nurse reports to the doctor that “she needs a Wet Mount.” Doctors must have the best sense of humor.
Giant Hairy Nevus
I may have a very strong immunity against any misleading effects of bizarre medical terms, but this last term really triggers my body’s leukocytes to be in hyperactive mode. I have never heard of the term Giant Hairy Nevus. There is no better excuse this time from the doctors to explain why they all shake hands and agree that this is the best terminology. There is absolutely no need for me or anyone from a non-medical background to describe what the term sounds like. The term can also sometimes be called Bathing Trunk Nevus, which provides no improvement. The term is, in fact, a real medical condition, and it is anything, but hilarious. Giant Hairy Nevus is an unfortunate congenital condition in which children are being born with a large, heavily-pigmented (black or dark brown) skin patch that often contains hair. The patch can cover a very large area of the body, ranging from a large mole-size to almost the entire body. It is developed as the baby is growing inside the womb. The statistic is about 1% for all birth. There is undoubtedly a risk for depression and other emotional disorders due to social difficulties for these children. If the patch is small, it can be surgically removed. If it is extremely large, it can be removed in several stages. Unfortunately, families in developing countries often have to accept this condition due to the inability to afford such surgical procedures. It is more informational to name this as “hypermelanotrichodermanatia.” Amazingly, I was able to successfully pronounce this new term in one trial. Hyper- means “excessive;” melan/o- means “black;” trich/o- means “hair;” derm/o- means “skin;” nat/i- means “birth;” and -ia means “condition of.
Hopefully, the words above do not depict any negative image of medical researchers and doctors alike. It is still desirable to invent new medical terms to provide to the medical field. It is also desirable to invent alternate terms for any conditions that may sound like an insult to the patients, just in case. The medical field is a stressful environment; a comic relief is considered a “treat” to some individuals. Besides, we all know that doctors are the most professional, most sane, most educated, and least cynical of all the professions, are they not?
