Social Skills
Social skills allow students to initiate and maintain positive social relationships with others through communication skills, problem solving skills, decision-making skills, and self-discipline and peer relationships. Thus, students know how to interact with others in a productive meaningful and non-violent manner. Social skills interfere with students’ ability to learn and the teachers’ ability to create an environment that enhances learning. Therefore, social skills are an essential aspect to peer acceptance, teacher acceptance, and the success of the student.
Not all students learn the social skills needed to maintain positive relationship or do not understand the importance of these skills. Social skills should be taught at the elementary age and then retaught or reinforced in the secondary level. Some for the basic social skills at the elementary level (K-4) include following instructions, getting the teacher’s attention, acceptingeporting other youth’s behavior, resisting peer pressure, showing respect and making an apology. At the secondary level (5-12) the before mentioned skills should be reinforced and at times retaught. criticism or a consequence, accepting “No” for an answer, greeting others, disagreeing appropriately, r
Following instructions is important because if the teacher gave Student A instructions to put away the materials that he/she was working on. Even though he/she still wants to utilize the material he knows the correct way to follow instructions and puts the material as instructed. The correct way for a student to follow instructions is to look at the person giving the instructions, which looking at the person shows that you are paying attention. Then say “okay”, wherein lets the person know you understand and go what you’ve been asked right away because the student is more likely to remember exactly what they were supposed to do if you do it right away. After the student has finished the task asked, he/she should check back letting the person know that he/she have followed the instructions (Connolly, Dowd, Criste, Nelson, & Tobias, 1995).
Getting the teacher’s attention allows order within the classroom and gives the students permission to ask questions. Suppose student B is confused about what the teacher just explained; however, the teacher is still talking. Student B gets the teacher’s attention appropriately and the teacher is able to answer his/her question. This skill includes looking at the teacher so that the student knows when the teacher has acknowledged him/her. Raising their hand and staying calm until the teacher says his/her name. Once the teacher has acknowledged the student, the student may ask the question (Connolly, 1995).
Accepting criticism or a consequence is a skill essential in the classroom because the student will not always know the right answer even though he/she thinks they know the information. Assume student B worked all night on his/her homework and was very proud of himself/herself. However, when the teacher graded the paper he/she got several of the problems wrong. When the teacher approached Student B to explain why the answers were incorrect, he was able to understand his mistakes and relearn the material. He/she was able to accept the criticism of his/her work by looking at the teacher, which showed the teacher that the student was paying attention. The student let the teacher know that he/she understood what the teacher said by saying “okay”. The student did not argue with the teacher and learned from what the teacher taught so he/she could do a better job next time (Connolly, 1995).
Students will get told no several times during the day and without the skill of accepting “No” for an answer the student might have social issues with their peers or teachers. Presume student C wants to play with student D on the playground. However, Student D is playing a game with other students and does not want to leave the game to play with Student C. Student D tells Student C no and Student C accepts the answer and waits for the game to be over to ask Student D again. The student knew that looking at the person shows that you are paying attention. Then saying “okay” lets the other person know that you understand. The student stayed calm allowing him/her to hear exactly what the other person said (Connolly, 1995).
Each year students and teachers have different peers in the classroom without the skill of greeting others, relationship between peers and teacher would not transpire. On the first day of school, Student A notices that the new student, Student B, is sitting alone at lunch. Student A wants to sit at the table and talk. As Student A knew how to greet others properly, Student B feels welcome in the new school and has made a new friend. Student A made this new friend by looking at the person thus letting the person know that he/she really wanted to meet him or her. Student A made a good impression and appeared friendly using a pleasant voice when he/she said “Hi” or “Hello” making the other person feel welcome (Connolly, 1995).
Disagreeing happens in the classroom all the time and without the skill of disagreeing appropriately, problems will occur. For example, Student A thinks that Student B has his/her book. When Student A asks Student B for his/her book back, Student B disagrees and tells him/her that the book belongs to him/her appropriately. Student A states that the book has his book cover on the book. Student A asks Student B to check the inside of the Book for his/her name. Student B discovers that he/she mistakenly picked up Student A’s book. This skill includes looking at the person and using a pleasant voice so that the other person is more likely to listen. Saying, “I understand how you feel” and politely tell why you feel differently, giving the reason do that the disagreement will carry more weight (Connolly, 1995).
Not all students make good decisions about their behavior and try to get other student involved. Students will need to have the skill of resisting peer pressure and at times students will need to report other youth’s behavior and need the proper skills. For instance, while students are in the bathroom, a student is trying to tear down the door to the stall. The student asks Student A to help him. When Student A says no, the student starts pressuring Student A to help. Student A continues to resist the student’s pressure, therefore the other students gave up on trying to destroy school property. This student knew the proper way to resist peer pressure was to look at the person, use a calm voice, state clearly that he/she did not want to participate, suggest something else to do, and if necessary, continue to say “no” (Connolly, 1995). However, property was destroyed and the student needed to report the other youth’s behavior. He/she used the social skill reporting other youth’s behavior and found the appropriate adult or authority figure. Looking at the person, using a clear, concerned voice tone, stated specifically the inappropriate behavior and gave a reason for the report that denotes concern for his/her peer. When the student was asked questions about the incident he/she answered truthfully (Connolly, 1995).
Showing respect encompasses several areas and includes obeying a request to stop negative behavior.
When a student obeys a request to stop a negative behavior, they show that they can follow instructions. Being able to follow instructions is one form of showing respect. Another form of showing respect is refraining from teasing, threatening, or making fun of others.
By refraining from such behaviors, it shows they understand that teasing, threatening, and making fun can be hurtful to others. In addition, allowing others to have their privacy shows respect.
Sometimes people need or want to be alone; adhering to their wishes shows respect. Last, obtaining permission before using another person’s property shows respect.
Students have certain possessions that are very important to them and do not want people using them without permission. When they ask permission to use others’ things, they show that same kind of respect (Connolly, 1995).
All people make mistakes and make the wrong social decision or sometimes just make a mistake. When a student makes a mistake, they need the skill of making an apology. Something as innocent as a student accidentally bumping into another student can turn into a confrontation if an apology is not given. However if the apology is not done correctly, a confrontation can still occur. An appropriate apology is done by looking at the person, using a serious, sincere voice, saying “I’m sorry for..” or “I want to apologize for…”, not making make excuses, explaining how you plan to do better in the future and saying “Thanks for listening” (Connolly, 1995).
President George Bush said, “Yes, we want our children to be smart and successful. But even more, we want them to be good and kind and decent. Yes, our children must learn how to make a living. But even more, they must learn how to live, and what to love. Intelligence is not enough,’ said Martin Luther King, Jr. ‘ Intelligence plus character – that is the true goal of education.’ ” Thus the key for the whole success of students does not rely on just their intellectual level but also on their ability to socially interact with others. A person can know the cure but will have to have the skills need to communicate and let others know. This is done with proper social skills and the best way for anyone to learn is to see it in action. Therefore, it is not only important to teach and guide student but also show students that you also have the social skills needed to succeed.
References
Connolly, T, Dowd, T, Criste, A. Nelson, C. S. , & Tobias, L (1995). The Well managed Classroom. Boys Town, NB: Boys Town Press
