If you are the parent of a toddler, one thing is for certain – you have seen more than your fair share of temper tantrum! Toddlers and temper tantrums just go hand in hand, and if you pay attention to what experts say, you know that these temper tantrums stem in part from a child’s inability to verbally express their desires. Of course, other factors come into play as well, such as if the child is tired, hungry, or otherwise feeling out of sorts for other similar reasons.
As a parent of a toddler, you likely have done your research and have read that it’s better to simply ignore those tantrums. Giving in to them can only compound your problem as you teach your child that this is a way for them to get what they want. The last thing you want is to have a seven or eight year old child throwing temper tantrums, so you do want to curb this behavior as quickly as possible!
When you are at home, it’s pretty easy to ignore the whining, crying, and all-out fits of rage that toddlers can throw. Sometimes this means walking out of the room or even stepping over a child who has thrown himself on the floor. When you are in public, however, you cannot simply walk away from a child. Further, you know that other people who share that public space with you don’t want to listen to your child scream either. So what can you do when your toddler throws a fit in public?
Remove Yourselves From the Public Eye. The fact is that many people who are watching your child throw a fit in public are parents, too, and they have been in your shoes. While many may be understanding, this doesn’t mean that they want to listen to your kid scream in a store or restaurant. The courteous step to take is to remove yourself from the public eye by heading out to the parking lot or to the restroom until your child has calmed down.
Avoid Coddling. The fact is that however embarrassing the temper tantrum may be to you, even when you are sitting in the parking lot or the restroom, you do not want to coddle your child at this point. Even if you end up spending twenty minutes removed from others, you do not want to simply take your child outside and offer him or her hugs or try to bribe him with extra TV time or a favorite snack later. The fact is that this is unacceptable behavior, and you really do need to stand your ground now and make a point.
Talk About the Behavior. While some kids throw fits because they don’t get their way, many times temper tantrums occur because kids lack the verbal skills to tell you exactly what they are thinking. Only after your child has calmed down, take a few minutes to talk about what happened. Explain why you did or said what you did, and talk about why your child threw a tantrum. Then explain what a better response from your child would have been in the future. Make sure you point out that throwing a fit is not the way to get what you want.
Take Preventive Measures. The above strategies are all things you can do once a fit is in progress or has already happened, but the fact is that as a parent you can work to prevent fits, too. You can ensure your child gets enough rest and that he or she isn’t hungry when you go into public situations. Further, if you know you are entering a situation where the possibility of a fit may be thrown, talk about hat situation beforehand. For instance, before you walk into the grocery store, make sure your child knows he or she will not be getting a candy bar from the checkout stand.
As a mother of three, I can assure you that the sooner you address temper tantrums with your little ones, they will occur far less frequently and far less severely than they would if you let them go or cater to a child’s whims during these times.
Here are a few other articles written by this author:
How Positive is Your Parenting?
Helping Your Kids Through Fights with Friends
Kids and Friend Drama: When to Step In
