When I had my first child, I didn’t have blinders on. I knew this adorable, squirming and often stinky bundled dream of my existence would someday be my nightmare. I’d heard all about the terrible twos and toddler tantrums. I’d watched them first-hand, emphasizing with pink faced women hauling squalling small children to the confines of cars. I’d even experienced them myself babysitting over the years. Now two years old, child number one has fulfilled this destiny of dastardly behavior, but any mother can tell you it’s not the expected that’s generally an issue. It was child number two that broadsided me. No one ever mentioned, nor did I ever see, a baby tantrum.
What causes a tantrum?
Tantrums are the unchecked, uncontrolled release of frustration, anger and sometimes sorrow flowing out of a baby or toddler who cannot properly express or control these emotions. For example, say a baby is trying extra hard to get that ultra cool and shiny necklace and mom is just not letting it happen. After several attempts, the baby is going to become frustrated and likely upset. Unable to say, “Hey, mom! Give me that!” the only route of discharge is then to turn the volume up, go red faced and flop angrily all over the place.
Why aren’t babies the usual tantrum suspects?
Younger infants are less prone to tantrums because they are usually less independent and have a smaller chance of becoming frustrated by failure. They generally also demand less attention, objects, and actions among other things to be told no about. This is why new moms hear all about the terrible twos and those toddler tantrum years but rarely hear too much about baby tantrums.
With a toddler you can talk, explain, and even rationalize to some degree. Babies can also be far harder to identify stress factors or signs of a soon-to-be-meltdown making many of the suggested methods of dealing with toddler tantrums null and void when applied to their younger, less developed but just as loud counterparts.
What can I do about my baby’s tantrum then?
You can take steps to avoid and quell a baby’s tantrum; it’s just a little different than dealing with a toddler. Naturally the best way to deal with tantrums is to never allow them to happen.
Avoiding tantrums in your baby:
-Make your baby’s play environment safe and no-no free. By making your baby’s play area free of possible tantrum triggers you can avoid them from ever happening. As an example, say I have my DVD player on a low shelf and my baby, after mastering the act of crawling, begins button pushing. I then have to tell him no and take him away from the buttons. This could trigger a tantrum. I could avoid this by not having this no-no item in his play space and reach.
-Make note of common tantrum conditions. Even in infants, you may begin to see certain behaviors in you or situations that cause your baby to be more prone to tantrums. For example, your baby may tantrum more when he or she is tired or hungry. The answer would be then to watch more closely for signs of these conditions and be prepared to remedy them at all times if possible.
Eventually, you’ll likely end up dealing with some tantrums. Knowing how to handle them can make all the difference.
-Don’t give in. It’s painful as a mother to hear a baby cry and cry, but even at this young age inconsistency and a lack of follow through can cause behavioral problems later. It’s important you stick your guns.
-Distract your baby. For once that millisecond attention span baby’s often have works as an advantage. In many cases a baby can be lured out of a tantrum with a bit of distraction. In severe cases simply find a quiet location and hold your baby. Do the things you often do when putting your baby to sleep, for example stoke his or her hair, and talk in calming words until your baby calms down.
-Be patient. Sometimes infant tantrums can make you want to throw a tantrum. Remember that you are the adult and be as patient as you can. If you need to, step away and calm down yourself. Your baby will pick up on your frustration and become further upset otherwise. Tantrums are not your fault and letting your baby cry for a moment while you take a 10 count yourself won’t hurt.
Read more from Unwirklich Vin Zant:
Improving Your Baby’s Vocabulary: Helpful Hints and Tips
