One question many expectant couples will hear several times during the mother’s pregnancy is “Is it a boy or a girl?”. While it is estimated that 8 out of 10 couples will actually go on to find out the gender of their unborn child with the help of ultrasound, many couples debate over whether or not they should find out the gender of their baby before birth. Here is a look at the pros and cons of deciding to the find out the gender or choosing to wait till the big day.
Finding Out During Pregnancy:
These days with the help of ultrasound technology many parents have the option of finding out the gender of their child as early as 16 weeks into pregnancy or with the help of a very experienced technician, even as early as 14 weeks. Here are some of the advantages and disadvantages.
Advantages
1. Finding out will help parents bond with their baby. Knowing whether or not your baby is a boy or girl allows you to really relate to the baby. Parents will have the ability to narrow down their name choices and associate it with their baby. Many parents also enjoy knowing ahead of time so they can decorate the nursery accordingly. They may have dreams of picking out a special set of crib bedding or painting the walls a certain color.
2. It makes shopping much easier! With so many parents choosing to find out the gender before the baby is born there are very few gender neutral items to purchase. Picking out baby clothes is often one of the best parts of pregnancy for parents-to be. With knowing if they are having a boy or girl they can shop in the pink or blue section as much as they want.
3. You can tell family and friends before-hand. This may be especially important if family or friends are planning on throwing the expectant mother a baby shower. They will want to know so they can decorate and shop for the little baby. By finding out early on the expectant couple can enjoy celebrating with their family and friends as you all prepare for the little boy or girl!
Disadvantages
1. Sometimes ultrasounds are wrong. Although it is not common sometimes ultrasounds are wrong. There are some cases where parents have gone on to celebrate the upcoming birth of their son only to hear the doctor exclaim “It’s a girl!” when the baby is delivered. If one does decide to find out the gender through ultrasound they may want to pay extra to get an elective ultrasound later on in pregnancy to find out for sure.
2. There may be some disappointment. While this is not usual with first time parents, parents who have had previous children or several of one gender may be surprised to feel a pang of disappointment to hear they are having another of the same gender. In some cases they may be dealing with disappointment from family members. This can put a lot of pressure on the mom-to-be and steal her joy. Some parents find it ultimately easier to just wait until birth.
3. Babies do no always cooperate. Even if parents decide to get an ultrasound to find out before-hand or in some cases, several ultrasounds, babies may choose to not cooperate. They may be facing the wrong way or the umbilical cord may be in the way of the baby’s parts. In these cases, parents may just have to opt to be surprised.
Waiting Till Birthday:
Having done it both ways myself, I have both chosen to wait till birth and find out before-hand. Waiting till birth is not common these days and can be fun! Here are some of the advantages and disadvantages of waiting till birth.
Advantages
1. It will be one of life’s greatest surprises. Waiting till birth can actually be a lot of fun! Not only does it fill the pregnancy with anticipation but hearing those words “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” can bring a lot of joy to parents as they first lay eyes on their new baby. Ask any parent who has chosen to wait and they will tell you how much fun it is to first see their new bundle and hear the doctor tell them who has joined their family.
2. There is no mistaking the gender! While finding out the gender with ultrasound can leave for some room for error waiting till birth will ensure there is NO room for error! Parents can be 100% sure they have a little boy or girl on their hands! While they may not get to shop for one gender specifically before-hand they can be sure to get the items they want for their son or daughter afterward.
3. It can take away some of the pressure during pregnancy. A mom-to-be may be hearing from family members her entire pregnancy how they just “need” a little boy in the family or how a little girl would complete her family. When the parents choose to wait they can just brush aside those concerns and tell inquiring minds “Sorry, we’re waiting till birth to find out!”.
Disadvantages
1. You may find shopping hard. With so few gender neutral items out there one common problem expectant parents come across is finding all the necessities they need. Sticking to colors such as yellow, cream, white, brown and light green will work for a while but some parents find they get bored with it quickly.
2. It may anger family members. This may sound strange but it is funny how some family members or even complete strangers will act outraged over the fact you do not know the gender of your unborn baby yet. You will probably hear at least once during your pregnancy “Don’t you want to know what you’re having?” while they have exasperated looks on their faces. In this case it is best to just smile and say “We look forward to the surprise of it all”.
3. You start to feel as though you’re having both a boy and a girl. Having talked to many other parents who have chosen to wait till birth one common surprise was the feeling as though you were having both a boy and a girl. This is especially true if you choose to pick up a few items that are gender specific “just in case”. It can get confusing constantly saying he or she and many parents have gone on to say they feel something is “missing” after they give birth because they were expecting both.
While this is a very personal decision that should be made between the expectant couple both should take a look at all the pro’s and con’s and make the best decision for them.
