Effects of Single Parenting

There should be a lot to think about before making the lifelong commitment of becoming a parent. Parenting is a long and hard journey you share with your child or children. It involves a great deal of responsibility, as the successful psycho-social, mental, interpersonal, and overall development of a child may largely depend on how he/she is raised. Nowadays, being a parent mostly refers to the process of raising a child from infancy to adulthood rather than just the biological relationship you may share with a child. Currently, more and more children find themselves in a single-parent family, being cared for by only one of their two parents, more often than not from simply circumstance. The changing definition of a “family” fueled the never-ending debate about whether or not having only one parent, instead of the traditional two, would be of great disadvantage to the children involved.

Gone are the days when the nuclear family – a distinguishable family structure consisting of a father, mother, and their children – is the norm. In several countries around the world, including China and India, this used to be the most common arrangement of a family unit; however, living in the 21^st century, we can quickly observe that this is rapidly changing. The popularity of the nuclear “ideal” family is quickly declining in the United States, as changes in family formation have been continually rising for the past few decades. Statistics show that the proportion of the population made up by married couples with children decreased from 40% in 1970 to 24% in 2000 (PWP, International). This means that only less than 1/3 of all families in the United States consist of a father, mother, and their children. Family arrangements in the U.S. have become more diverse with no particular households arrangements being prevalent enough to be identified as the average (Williams, Sawyer, and Wahlstrom).

Single parenting describes a mother or father who cares for one or more children, who is not living without the assistance of another parent in the home (Ketteringham). The number of single-parent households is continually rising, despite beliefs that being raised by a solo parent is generally ‘bad’ for children. Often, single parents are portrayed only as young, unmarried women with children born out of wedlock, although such descriptions are mostly judgments. Single-parent families can be created in a number of ways. The majority are made up of those who did not initially choose to be single – divorced and separated parents – who have simply become victims of a marital breakdown (Golombok, 5). Sadly, many other parents who find themselves raising their children alone result from sudden abandonment or death of a partner or spouse. However, the greatest increase in single parents has been among unmarried mothers who have already been single from the start, and do not receive help from the fathers of the children (Golombok, 9). Also, there are now more and more women who are single by chance, and who decide to become mothers, either through adoption or artificial insemination. Generally, there are more single-mother families than there are single-father families in society, as circumstance may leave many women pregnant and alone, or alone and wanting a child of their own (Hertz, xv).

Statistically, a child’s family structure has been detected to contribute to certain characteristics of the child’s well-being. Various studies claim that children in single-parent homes fare worse than those in two-parent homes. Despite this, problems that single-parent households encounter may not necessarily be blamed on the solo parent raising his or her children, but are believed to be linked to other factors related to single parenting (Ketteringham). More studies show that a child’s health, education, and behavior may be adversely impacted by the absence of a parent as a child grows up. Incidences of drug abuse, suicide, early pregnancy, and different acts of rebellion have been noted to be higher among children raised in single-parent families (Pan). Also, another study shows that teens are less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol, or tobacco if they live with their married parents over teens that do not. Adolescent girls who don’t grow up with intact, married parents are more likely to menstruate at an early age, as researchers believe that a father’s pheromones appear to inhibit a girl’s sexual development. Boys, too, are just as affected if they are raised in unmarried families, as they are about twice as likely to be involved in delinquent behavior (Lowe). In her book on single mothers, Jane Juffer notes that “the most obvious explanation for the poorer adjustment of older boys who are raised exclusively by their mothers is the absence of a viable connection to their fathers. Mothers can nurture, teach, discipline, and provide financially for their sons but they cannot, of course, model male behavior” (173). She then continues to state: “because of the absence of this primary role model, attaining masculinity is vexed and often a confusing process [for boys]” (178). Children who grow up being raised by a single parent also worry about the state of affairs they are in, just as much as their single parents do. Usually, they are very much concerned about their parent’s happiness as well, apart from their own worries about being different from other children their age, or the changes in their living situation, and being the cause of their parent’s break-up, if their parents are separated or divorced.

Single parenting may conjure up a variety of effects, ranging from social to financial issues, but in actuality what affects one family may not necessarily affect another despite the two being in the same situation. Being a single parent to a child does not necessarily make them likely candidates of troublemaking. Several factors underlie these negative effects on children, which not all single-parent families even deal with. A big factor that affects single-parent families is the typically lower income level of the single parent. Although not all single parents face such dilemmas, those that do end up working more hours to suffice financial needs, and may not always be able to spend time with their child or children, nor be able to devote their time to their children’s studies and school activities (Garrett). Family instability also appears to have a causal role in determining whether or not a child might exhibit more behavioral problems. With every break-up, divorce, remarriage, or new cohabitation, there is always a period of adjustment for parents and children, as they establish their places in their new family setting. Many researchers have found that children who go through frequent transitions as they grow up are more likely to have behavioral problems than those raised in stable two-parent, or even one-parent families (Science Daily).

Overall, a parent’s education and ability level, and to a lesser extent, family income and quality of the home environment, are the significant factors Despite what studies may illustrate, or even what other parents believe, single parenting also has various positive effects, which many single moms or dads could see as a bonus for their kids. In her essay on single parenting, Jennifer Wolf enumerates a number of good effects single parenting may bring to a family, the first being the development of strong bonds between parent and child. Without a partner in the home, a parent’s focus would be targeted mostly on the child or children. This gives the single parent a good chance to spend quality one-on-one time with their kids, which allows for them to develop a unique and strong bond, a connection which could continue to evolve into the child’s adult years. Another good effect is the numerous support groups often available to single parents. Single parent support communities are often good places where single parents can seek help or even friends. Also, extended families and close friends usually help out a single parent, particularly since they have a tough job of raising a family with limited help. Wolf continues to identify optimistic concepts of being a solo mother or father, such as shared responsibilities that children are expected to contribute. A child would feel that his or her contribution to the family is necessary and recognize its value, to help them develop pride in their work. Lastly, Wolf states that: “Children who are raised in successful single-parent families know that they are the main priority in their parent’s life, yet they aren’t treated as though they are the center of everyone’s universe. This healthy approach helps to prepare kids for the ‘real world'”.

So now I must revert back to my initial concerns prior to starting this research paper: In what way does being raised in a single-parent home affect a child in contrast to being raised in a home with both parents? As Jane Juffer explains in her book about single mothers, “the answer exists outside the perimeters of a nuclear family, in the creation of extended support networks that alleviate pressures of any single parent” (183). Although it is true that in the past, the denunciation of single moms mostly relied on the intensely discourse of shame of (1) getting pregnant out of wedlock, (2) not being able to support your baby, or (3) having failed in your marriage, the single mother is now hailed as the new spokesperson for hard work and self-efficiency and are no longer perceived to be the symbol of social breakdown or sexual irresponsibility (Juffer, 167).

Being a successful single parent and raising successful children does not depend on a parent’s civil status. The way a single parent brings up his or her kids and the time spent with them clearly affects a child’s development; and also being how efficient a parent is, single or otherwise.

Works Cited

“Facts About Single Parent Families.” PWP, International. 31 Mar 2009 .

Garrett, Matt “Single Parenting- Positive and Negative Effects on Academics.” Single Parenting- Positive and Negative Effects on Academics. 25 Jun. 2007. EzineArticles.com. 19 Mar 2009 .

Golombok, Susan. Parenting: What really counts? New York: Routledege, 2000.

Hertz, Rosanna. Single By Chance, Mothers By Choice. New York: Oxford University Press, 2006.

Johns Hopkins University. “Should Single Parents Stay That Way?.” ScienceDaily. 30 March 2007. 19 March 2009 .

Juffer, Jane. Single Mother: The Emergence of The Domestic Individual. USA: NYU Press, 2006.

Ketteringham, Kristin. “Single Parent Households – How Does it Affect the Children?” 06 July 2007. 19 March 2009 .

Lang, Susan. On Mother’s Day, a hopeful finding for single mothers and their children from a Cornell researcher.” 6 May 2004. 19 March 2009 .

Lowe, Lori “Marriage Or Cohabitation – How Are Children Affected?.” Marriage Or Cohabitation – How Are Children Affected?. 19 Dec. 2008. EzineArticles.com. 19 Mar 2009 .

Magnier, Jenny “The Effects Of Single Parenting On Children.” The Effects Of Single Parenting On Children. 14 Mar. 2007. EzineArticles.com. 19 Mar 2009 .

Pan, Wendy. “Single Parent Family Statistics – Single Parents a New Trend?.” Single Parent Family Statistics – Single Parents a New Trend?. 3 Oct. 2008. EzineArticles.com. 30 Mar 2009 .

The Various Effects Of Single Parenting On A Child. 19 March 2009.

Williams, Brian, Stacey C. Sawyer, Carl M. Wahlstrom. 2005. Marriages, Families &Intimate Relationships. Boston, MA: Pearson. 31 Mar 2009 .

Wolf, Jennifer. “Positive Effects of Single Parenting: Concepts Every Single Parent Needs to Keep in Mind.” 19 March 2009 .