In high school one of my teachers began to show an unusual interest me. I often caught him surveying my body in uncomfortable ways and finding excuses to keep me late after class. After I switched teachers he still found opportunities to find me, often standing near the door where I sat during lunch break.
Although he was let go a year later for reasons still unknown, I still feel queasy when I think about him. The uneasiness I felt around him wasn’t simply paranoia, however. According to Child Lures Prevention founder Ken Wooden, he may have displayed classic signs of a child predator.
Here are some other signs your teacher could be a sexual predator.
Sign #1 Your Teacher is a Child Predator
Your teacher is too friendly with you.
Having a friendly teacher is great. But when your teacher is too friendly, trust your gut.
My teacher tried to find ways to talk to me, sometimes even out of class. I preferred talking about assignments. He seemed more interested about asking about what I liked, which websites I visited on the Internet, and which boys I was attracted to. Like most child predators, he wanted to get down to my level and talk to me like a friend.
Be careful if any teacher shows an unusual interest in your life for no reason. Child predators like to get on a personal level to gain trust with the child. Gaining a child’s trust makes it easier to use manipulation tactics.
Sign #2 Your Teacher is a Child Predator
Your teacher stares or surveys you in a way you find uncomfortable.
Glancing or looking at a child while explaining certain tasks is reasonable, but when the stares linger downward, your teacher may be surveying other assets.
This was also the case with me. He often stared at me or stood right next to me while I was working on homework or typing assignments on the computer. If I glanced back, it wasn’t uncommon to see his eyes glancing at places far lower than my face. One of my friends nicknamed him ‘the cleavage man’.
Ignore the child predator’s friendly, welcoming facade. He may have a smile from cheek to cheek, but if he spends way too much time staring at your body instead of your face, chances are he’s not staring because he likes your outfit. This sign is harder to detect if you don’t pay close attention to your environment.
Sign #3 Your Teacher is a Child Predator
Your teacher is a ‘loner’.
Now this isn’t the case with all teachers, but many child predators have difficulty establishing healthy relationships with other adults. As a result, many pedophiles have few friends. Many of them cannot sustain romantic relationships.
Pedophiles often feel inadequate, causing them to pursue a sexual relationship with a child.
My teacher rarely talked with other teachers. The other teachers in my school knew very little about him and he mostly ate lunch alone at his own table, slowly reviewing schoolwork. He only conversed with his students during the day.
Occasional solitude is understandable, but complete seclusion is peculiar-and a huge warning sign. Not all pedophiles seclude themselves from other adults, however, and some child predators maintain normal relationships with other adults.
Sign 4# Your Teacher is a Child Predator
Your teacher goes to extreme lengths to reach you outside of class.
Child predators want to gain access to children in an environment free of adults. Teachers gain access to children by keeping them in their classroom after school, becoming a coach, or becoming a leader of after school programs. Some even resort to the Internet.
He managed to find my online journal and began commenting on my entries.
How? I regularly signed into my journal in class. It is possible he accessed my journal by logging into my school computer and searching through my history. I did not include my name or other identifying information on my journal.
Some of the messages he left included “Guess who this is?” and “You’re such a deep, beautiful girl”.
The minute I received these messages I checked the IP address, eventually tracking it to the school. He was posting these messages from his computer in class. I deleted my journal and began a new one at Livejournal, making sure all entries were ‘friends-only’, only viewable by users on my friends list.
He immediately stopped showing interest in me after that.
Sign 5# Your Teacher is a Child Predator
Your teacher makes uncomfortable, suggestive advances.
This is usually a sign your teacher is closing in for the kill, either to satisfy his own desires or see if the child is willing to cooperate.
If a child goes along with the teacher’s attempts to become friendly, he may begin sexual advances.
I resisted every attempt my teacher made to manipulate me, so he never pursued me. Standing strong and saying no can prevent sexual predators from making further advances.
Sexual predators can sense weakness. Sexual predators can sense slight emotions and feelings, such as inadequacy, depression, or loneliness. Doing the opposite will scare them-they don’t want to risk getting caught.
All five of these signs can strongly indicate a teacher may be a child predator. Not all teachers who display these signs are child predators though-use your best judgment and trust your gut.
If you feel something is wrong with the way your teacher interacts with you, talk with a trusted adult and refuse his advances. He may be a child predator. He might choose you as his next victim.
Sources:
Ken Wooden, “A Profile of a Child Molester” (childluresprevention.com)
