At the 85th Annual Academy Awards, host Seth MacFarlane expressed worry about getting bad reviews. Well, he can sleep easy, because thanks to one Oscar-winner’s gorgeous but overly weighty dress, her trip on the way to the stage is what’s making the headlines today. Rather than coming off as mean-spirited, MacFarlane’s clear love of the film-making industry was evident throughout the evening. Here are some of the highlights of the ceremony, which clocked in at nearly an hour over schedule.
- Seth MacFarlane’s opening monologue, for the most part, avoided the sort of celebrity roasting that some had feared. One of his biggest laughs came from a gentle joke about Daniel Day-Lewis, who stayed in character while filming “Lincoln.” MacFarlane asked him, “If you saw a cell phone, did you go, ‘Oh, my God, what’s that?’ If you saw Don Cheadle on set, did you try to free him?
- The room greeted his relatively innocuous joke about Jodie Foster with icy silence. MacFarlane said that the ceremony would be watched by a billion people worldwide, “which is why Jodie Foster will be on soon to beg for her privacy.
- William Shatner then descended on a video screen, proclaiming, “I’ve come back in time from the 23rd century to stop you from destroying the Academy Awards… Your jokes are tasteless and inappropriate. Everyone ends up hating you.” This was followed by a lengthy sketch showing the offenses that Seth supposedly made that had caused him trouble: including an offensive song address to the actresses in the room, called “We Saw Your Boobs”; a sock puppet reenactment of “Flight”; and coming on to Sally Field in the Green Room (while Seth was, coincidentally, dressed as the Flying Nun). Instead, following Shatner’s advice, he sang a song celebrating the movies, while Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron danced ballroom; did a soft shoe to “High Hopes” with Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt; and finished with a big opening number, a parody of “Be Our Guest,” including the lyrics, “a telecast designed to put your patience to the test.” At the end of that number, the revised headline appears projected on a back screen: “Best Oscars ever, says everyone but ‘Entertainment Weekly’.”
- Winning Best Supporting Actor, Christoph Waltz bowed to the other nominees, offering them “my respect” and then quoting from the movie for which he won, “Django Unchained”: “You slay the dragon because you’re not afraid of it. You cross the fire because it’s worth it.”
- Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy had an awkward moment pretending to be bad at voice work while announcing the awards for Best Animated Short and Best Animated Feature. However, Brenda Chapman, winning for “Brave,” gave a shout-out to her strong daughter, who’d inspired her. The reaction shot of her daughter, looking thrilled at the mention, made up for the weak intro.
- MarFarlane gave a shout-out to Quvenzhane Wallis, the youngest Best Actress nominee ever. He then tweaked the other nominees: “So you got nominated for an Oscar, something a 9-year-old could do.” He followed this up with an edgier joke: “It will be 16 years before she’s too old for Clooney.” To make it up to George Clooney, who was seated near the front as a producer of “Argo,” MacFarlane tossed him a small bottle of liquor. Being a good sport, Clooney flashed him a smile and immediately opened it . Amusingly, the camera cut away before he took a swig.
- Although the mock sparring from “The Avengers” cast members Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, and Samuel L. Jackson seemed more forced than funny, the emotional acceptance speech from “Life of Pi” cinematographer Claudio Miranda was a classic Oscar moment. He delivered a prepared line, “This movie was quite a beast to make,” but then grew flustered, “Oh, my god. I can’t even speak.” At least he remembered to thank his wife, “And… everyone.”
- As part of a tribute to 50 years of James Bond, the quintessential Bond theme singer, Shirley Bassey, had the time of her life delivering a dramatic performance of “Goldfinger” in a floor-length gold dress. She received a standing ovation, with a lengthy reaction shot of Reese Witherspoon looking awed and elated.
- Accepting their Oscar for Best Documentary Short Subject, “Inocente,” Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine pointed out the need to stand up for artists, such as the subject of their documentary, who had been a homeless artist. The young woman was onstage with them to accept the award, and her happy tears showed how much the moment meant to her.
- MacFarlane got booed for the first time with a joke about Daniel Day-Lewis’s turn playing Lincoln: “But the actor who really got inside Lincoln’s head was John Wilkes Booth.” At the crowd’s negative response, he quipped, “Really? A hundred and fifty years, and it’s still too soon?” He followed this with a much more harmless joke, about how Ben Affleck has gone from starring in “Gigli” to being one of the most respected directors. “We’re six months away from having to call him ‘Benjamin Affleck’.”
- Affleck, who happened to be the next onstage, to announce the nominees for Best Documentary Feature, said to MacFarlane, “I actually thought the show had been going pretty well, but maybe you can turn it around.” While it might have seemed like Affleck was responding to the harmless comment about himself, it’s more likely he was referring to the poor response to the Lincoln joke. After all, Affleck has been extremely gracious this entire award season, even about being overlooked for a Best Director nomination. For him to react badly to a mild joke about him seems out of character.
- One person who wasn’t present when the much-buzzed-about “Searching for Sugarman” won Best Documentary Feature? Sugarman himself, a.k.a. Sixto Rodriguez, the elusive musician who had no idea his work was revered in South Africa.” The filmmakers said, “Rodriguez isn’t here tonight, because he didn’t want to take any of the credit himself.” That certainly fits with the humble personality of Rodriguez, the American musician who had given up his music career in order to give his family a more stable life and, many years later, discovered he had a following overseas.
- Surprisingly, for an award ceremony celebrating music in Hollywood, the orchestra this year was located off-site at Capitol Studios. MacFarlane acknowledged them, and a camera showed the orchestra in the sound studio, dressed in formal black-and-white, even though this was their only chance to be seen.
- John Travolta introduced a tribute to movie musicals (though he himself did not sing). Catherine Zeta-Jones reprised her steamy song from “Chicago,” “All That Jazz,” highly-choreographed with more than a dozen dancers in black. Jennifer Hudson gave an Oscar-worthy performance of her scene-stealing song, “And I Am Telling You,” from “Dreamgirls.” She received a standing ovation, and a reaction shot showed Jack Nicholson going, “Whew!” Then the entire cast of “Les Miserables” performed “I Dreamed a Dream”/”One Day More,” receiving another standing ovation.
- MacFarlane introduced “the stars of my mediocre effort, ‘Ted.'” Mark Wahlberg and the titular bear, in what must have been a prerecorded piece, engaged in some banter, with Ted begging for him to tell him the location of the “big post-Oscars Hollywood orgy.” Ted sweetened his appeal by saying, “I’m really good at sex, and I can bring sodas and snacks and soap.” Wahlberg finally relented, saying, “OK, it’s at Jack Nicholson’s house.”
- In a rare Oscar occurrence, there was a tie for Best Sound Editing. As Paul N.J. Ottosson accepted it for “Zero Dark Thirty,” he told a cute story. He revealed that when he brought home his two Oscars for “The Hurt Locker,” he’d joked to his family that he had “one for Mommy and one for Daddy.” At that point, his kid asked, “Where’s mine?” Now there’s one for each.
- In another cute moment, MacFarlane, while introducing presenter Christopher Plummer, paused to announce, “The family Von Trapp.” A camera pointed at a door, from which no one appeared. Then a Nazi guard raced in: “They’re gone.” The homage to “The Sound of Music” didn’t elicit as much laughter as it deserved from the celebrity audience, but no doubt many movie musical fans at home appreciated the joke.
- Plummer, announcing the award for Best Actress, said he was impressed with the field and joked that he looked “forward to working with any of these ladies in my next 30 films.” Anne Hathaway’s acceptance speech began with praise for her fellow nominees and the expected series of thank-you’s. She ended it with a plea for an end to poverty: “Here’s hoping that someday in the not-too-future, the misfortunes of Fantine will only be found in stories and never more in real life.”
- Sandra Bullock’s introduction of the award for Best Editing was oddly off-kilter, with her likening their work to “What a sadistic butcher would do to a ham hock” before ending with the much more positive comment that they “make much of us look much better than we have a right to.”
- Jennifer Lawrence, wearing an astonishing white Dior ball gown, introduced Adele, performing her hit theme from the movie “Skyfall.” She sang in front of a glittering curtain that looked like stars, behind which the choir sat. A projection of red ink spilling through blue water was projected on the back wall, making it the most visually stunning performance of the night.
- MacFarlane, who has acknowledged that he’s more of a writer than an improv comedian, ignored the fact that Kristen Stewart was limping as she helped Daniel Radcliffe present the award for Best Achievement in Production Design. Other Oscar hosts would probably have come up with a quip about it, but either MacFarlane was sensitive to time considerations or just didn’t feel comfortable with off-the-cuff humor.
- At the tail end of the “In Memoriam” segment, singer Barbara Streisand remembered composer and friend Marvin Hamlisch with a heartfelt performance of “The Way We Were,” receiving a standing ovation.
- Although you would expect that she saw it coming, since all the buzz was about her, Adele (receiving the award under her full name, Adele Adkins), got emotional accepting the Oscar for Best Original Song, tearing up as she thanked composer Paul Epworth, receiving it along with her, for “believing in me all the time.”
- Receiving the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, for “Argo,” Chris Terrio addressed director Affleck: “Ten years ago you were up here accepting your Oscar for Best Screenplay, and now you made this film … It’s a gift. I can never repay it. Thank you.” Quentin Tarantino was his usual cool self, receiving the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, for “Django Unchained.” While initially, it seemed like he was patting himself on the back for creating unforgettable characters, he then pointed out that you “have to cast the right people to bring those characters alive, and boy, this time did I do it.” A reaction shot of Jamie Foxx showed him initially confused about where the speech was going and then pleased at the acknowledgement. Extolling the quality of writing among the nominees in the writing categories, Tarantino declared it the year of the writer.
- MacFarlane’s one seemingly off-the-cuff moment could have also been scripted: “Since we’ve now been here so long, we’re going to start the 2014 Oscars right after this.”
- Accepting the Oscar for Best Director, for “Life of Pi,” Ang Lee began by saying, “Thank you, movie god,” eliciting appreciative laughter. He declared, “I need to share this with all 3,000 people who worked with me,” calling the cast “the golden statue in my heart.” He also thanked the entire country of Taiwan, where the film was made, as well as his different crews, and his wife, who smiled but seemed to wish he hadn’t announced they’ve been married nearly 30 years. He should have added that she looks far too young for that to be true, because she did.
- Then came the big moment for Best Actress winner, Jennifer Lawrence, who tripped on the way up the stairs over her enormous, puffy skirt. Just goes to show that some red-carpet looks aren’t as practical. Hugh Jackman immediately jumped up to assist her. When the audience gave her a standing ovation, Lawrence said, “You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell.” She seemed shocked that she could have won, and she praised the other actresses, “You were so magnificent and so inspiring, and not just in my category.” Of course, as she braces herself for endless repeats of the stumble, she should remember that even Meryl Streep stumbled slightly on the steps last year on her way to receive her Best Actress award.
- MacFarlane then said, “Our next presenter needs no introduction” and just walked off-stage as Streep entered. She had a slightly less noticeable wardrobe malfunction, declaring, “I’m walking on my dress.” She announced the Oscar for Best Actor, Day-Lewis, who became the first to win three Oscars in the Best Actor category. He was tearing up, proclaiming that he’d received “so much more than my fair share of good fortune.” Then he proved himself funnier than many of the presenters, declaring that “three years ago, before we decided to do a straight swap, I had actually had been committed to play Margaret Thatcher and Meryl was Steven’s first choice to play Lincoln.” The crowd loved it, and when the laughter died down, he added that he’s “had to persuade Steven that perhaps ‘Lincoln’ shouldn’t be a musical.” Then, charmingly, he thanked his wife, saying that since they married, she’s “had to live with some very strange men” but that “she’s the versatile one in the family and has been the perfect companion to all of them.” He also praised “our beloved skipper Steven Spielberg, and the mysteriously beautiful mind, body and spirit of Abraham Lincoln,” and dedicated the award “for my mother.” Mothers all over the world said, “Awww.
- Jack Nicholson, announcing the award for Best Picture, said that it’s usually an award that is delivered by one person so that there are no distractions. However, tonight, “it is my great pleasure to introduce live from the White House, the first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama.” The first lady was surrounded by military personnel in dress uniform and was wearing a tastefully elegant silver A-line gown with thin straps. She had the honor of announcing the award went to “Argo.” Producer Grant Heslov, speaking first, pointed to himself, Clooney and Affleck, and said, “I know what you’re thinking: three sexiest producers alive.” Then, after taking a long time to say he wasn’t thanking anyone personally, he said, “On behalf of George and myself, I want to thank you, Ben. You directed a hell of a film.” Affleck, finally getting a chance to speak, flew threw his speech, first acknowledging Spielberg, “Who I think is a genius,” as well as the other Best Picture nominees. He spit out a touchingly bumbling thank you to his wife, saying he normally doesn’t associate her with Iran and that she’s been willing to work on their marriage, which he immediately jumped to say it was “the best kind of work” and he “wouldn’t want to work with anyone else.” Then, he finally got to the heart of his speech: “I was here 10 years ago and had no idea what I was doing… really just a kid.” He never thought that he’d be back. He delivered strong advice: “You have to work harder than you think you possibly can” and you can’t hold grudges. “It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, only that you get up.” Immediately, he was cut off by commercial, and in Philadelphia at least, the longest Oscars Awards Ceremony in recent history was preempted by local news before any conclusory remarks.
