Many women and men are forced to put their children in daycare due to the necessary fact that both parents must work to support the family. If corners can somehow be cut or unnecessary bills eliminated during this important stage of your child’s life, I strongly support having one parent stay at home with their young ones.
There are many reasons why this is so, some proven by research and others proven by the backlash felt years after some of these kids grew up. Some I have seen and learned through personal experience as a teacher. Here are just a few to consider before enrolling your child in a daycare preschool environment.
1. Research proves many children reared in daycare become more defiant when older. Although negative behaviors will certainly occur during the age while your child is enrolled, this is usually typical of a growing child. What child doesn’t question or defy authority at some point? The issue arises when research has proven that many daycare reared children grew up to become much more defiant in their 5th and 6th grade years of school. The study compared all of the children reported by teachers as having negative qualities such as bragging, lying, cheating, destruction of property, cruelty and an overall sense of disobedience for authority and their peers. Unsure of why this occurs, one can speculate. In today’s times it is very difficult and sometimes against school policy to properly discipline a child immediately after the behavior has occurred. Waiting to be reprimanded by their parents when they get home just doesn’t do the trick, and these negative behaviors are reinforced.
2. Is your preschooler really “smarter” than his or her homebound peers or just developmentally ahead? What may seem like genius observations and exclamations from your 3 year old may simply be a product of spending so much time with a variety of adults and a large group of children. In fact, studies have shown that although the vocabulary of preschool children is higher than others, most all children catch up to the same level in grade school. What may seem like pure amazement to your natural sense of parental pride may merely be an external factor that is pushing your child’s development ahead of the predominate set of norms for the age group.
3. Children may develop a negative self-image at an early age and also be forced to endure “survival of the fittest” type behaviors. Let’s face it, not all of the children in classes of 20 or more kids are going to be taught proper manners by their parents. Rude and inappropriate play skills may be a shock to your child who has thus far been taught sharing and respect. They will either always be giving in to the child who’s parent’s rely only on the daycare to raise their children or turn a leaf by learning to “survive” and mimic those inappropriate skills. Your child may not develop a voice to express him or herself when needed and becomes an early target for future low self-esteem issues, as well as trust and loyalty issues with peers.
4. If your child has been at home with you for the first few years, there may significant separation anxiety that could be avoided until a more appropriate age level. There’s a reason why grade school starts when it does, folks. Separation anxiety can be a very powerful and hurtful experience for your child as I have personally seen in my experience. “Oh, they’ll get over it”, you may say. But maybe they won’t. Maybe they will hold it against you and develop issues of distrust without either of you even realizing it until years later when your child ends up in therapy rehashing her poor unfortunate childhood. Okay, maybe I’m being a little over dramatic here, but the fact remains that psychological patterns are developed at a very young age when the brain is fresh and new. Is that something you want your child to learn at such a young age?
5. Your choice of specific daycare may be detrimental to your child’s development without you ever knowing it. A high priced private academic preschool may seem ideal, but way out of your budget. When you enroll your child in ANY daycare setting, do you really ever know what goes on when you’re not there? You may be given the impression your child is being taught and learning academic and relevant social skills, but are they really? Are they learning from an adult or learning from being with a group of similar peers who are all in this crazy thing called daycare together? Recently in my neighborhood a 3-year-old girl drowned in a swimming pool at the home based daycare she belonged to. I’m sure her parents thought they were giving her a well protected, nurturing environment compared to a commercial setting daycare. What do you think they are thinking about now?
6. Considering that most of the general public is religious and understanding that procreation is a natural process we are born to do, if you must put all of your kids in daycare from birth on, 7am until 6pm, WHY BOTHER HAVING ANY KIDS AT ALL? Better yet, after the first, why continue to have more? There is nothing more special than the birth of a child, so why lose that by putting them in daycare? Why let someone else have the joy of hearing their first word or watching them take their first step? If your reasons are not monetary necessity you should spend time reflecting on this and going over the pros and cons with your spouse or partner.
7. Children in daycare have been clinically proven to get four times as sick as children who stay at home. There are millions of microbes everywhere in a daycare Even a clean looking one contains millions of these evil little bacteria just waiting to get at your child, since microbes are invisible to the eye. Microbes are responsible for many common illnesses such as the flu, a common cold or a stomach virus. Other dominant daycare illnesses include ringworm and conjunctivitis. Both are potentially harmless but contagious. Hand, Foot and Mouth disease as well as chicken pox, scarlet fever (from strep throat) and Fifth disease are other illnesses I have witnessed numerous times. Not only are these unnecessarily unpleasant for your child but can cause you to lose days from work. Particulates in the air containing dust and industrial chemicals are another problem, especially for allergy and asthma sufferers.
8. Your kid’s teacher may be sweet and nice, but is she knowledgeable and experienced? Is she patient and willing to work with you? Does he or he have significant lessons to share with you and enrich your child’s love of learning? Many daycare teachers do not yet possess their Bachelor’s degrees due to the low wages they receive. Many are also very young and inexperienced, unable to correctly diagnose your child’s developmental needs and possible problems. In today’s times when Autism effects every 1 in 150 children born in America, an educated teacher is imperative for first time parents. Many parents also look to the teacher to tell them what they should be reinforcing at home. An uneducated teacher may be setting your child’s goals either too low or too high. Either way they’re causing an imbalance in the core needs of your child.
9. Not all daycares provide the love and attention young growing children desperately need. Although the caregivers may be warm and friendly, they have 19 or so other children to look after. Every time your child feels like he or she needs a hug or word of encouragement they may be let down. Sure it’s the parent’s job to give children this type of attention, but what type of psychological stereotypes of others are you helping to set up here? Maybe your child is smart enough to question why they don’t get what they need, but internalize it. Or maybe they begin to act out. Maybe still they bottle it up and save it for years later as studies have proven.
10. Your child is your first and most important priority. If you can do without weekend dinners out and other superfluous activities, then do so. It will surely be the best thing you could do for your child. Remember that not all effects are brought out right away, and you don’t want to have to pay the price of dealing with your child’s issues (and psychiatrist bills) later on in life.
