So you think you want to let your kid listen to some punk rock, hm? Maybe get out your old brown vinyl cassette carrier and dust off those little clear plastic cases, each filled with yards and yards of wretched chords and screaming anarchy? Before you do, think about the effect this might have on your poor impressionable child.
He may grow a social conscience.
The sad truth is, there are a lot of punk rock songs that speak out against things like war and racism. If you let your child listen to something like the Dead Kennedys’ Nazi Punks F*** Off, he may wind up on the side of justice some day, prosecuting people for hate crimes. Contrary to popular belief, most punk bands aren’t about hate and violence-they just choose to express their beliefs without having to wear goofy things like tie-dyed t-shirts and hemp sandals.
He may develop a healthy sense of self.
People often turn to punk rock and the punk lifestyle (if I may turn a rather revolting phrase, which I suppose I have to) because they don’t fit in anywhere else. The inherent nature of punk rock is of individuality; still, there are certain things that can tip you off pretty easily that the person you’re encountering is a fan of punk rock music. It’s not trendy to the extent that the whole emo thing is, though (you know what I mean: the Emo Face: lips pursed off to the side, looking up at the camera you’re holding above your head as you pose in front of your Fall Out Boy poster) and if your child adopts the Punk Rock Look, he’ll likely be among a very small minority at his school, church, pretty much anywhere he goes. He’ll have to be liked based on his personality; he’ll have to prove to an unaccepting society that under the green mohawk and safety pin nose ring, there’s a decent human being. Is your child really up to that task? Is he really a good enough person that others will like him based on who he is and not just how he looks? In the process of gaining this acceptance from others, he’ll also develop confidence in who he is and what he can do, as he strives to make others see it. Sounds like a lot of work- better get him a skinny tie and an angled haircut, quick.
He may develop an interest in the music itself.
Punk rock is first and foremost about the music, of course. If you allow your child to listen to that garbage, the next thing you know, he’ll pick up a second-hand guitar and start playing music himself. Pretty soon he’ll have a band put together and they’ll spend all weekend practicing in your garage, when they could be out doing normal teenage things like kegstands and getting cheerleaders knocked up. Let him continue for very long and he may hit the big time, sell out and buy you a nice beach house down in Boca Raton. Boca, people, come on… you better nip this in the bud.
He may grow a wry and witty sense of humor.
Let your kid listen to too much punk rock and he may start looking at the world through a twisted looking glass. He may learn to put a humorous spin on everyday life, and if he can laugh at the world, why, soon things may not bother him as much as they used to. If he can greet challenges with a smirk and a smile like Jello Biafra and Joe Jack Talcum can, what the hell are you gonna do with that shrink you have on speed-dial?
