The world of sports has an appeal that transcends athletic competition and makes its way into the everyday lives of people around the globe. Every sports fan cheers for a particular club or city, but few of us stop to think about what actually goes into the name of their favorite team. Some teams bear the namesake of something relevant to their hometown, for example, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Other squads are named after a ferocious animal (Chicago Bulls), a mythological creature (San Francisco Giants), or a group of people (New York Islanders). Some team names, however, don’t seem to fall into any reasonable category. These monikers escape all rhyme and reason; and without further ado I present to you the top ten weirdest team names in the world of sports.
10. The Providence College Friars
Is there a better way to pay respect to the fat white men that founded your school than to name your athletic teams after them? Located in the fine city of Providence, Rhode Island, this school pays homage to a group of people who never seem to get enough credit: upper-class, middle-aged, overweight, white males. I’ll bet this namesake really goes over well with the female sports teams on campus.
9. The Georgetown Hoyas
Once again, ignorant white people found a way to embarrass themselves for generations to come. Leave it to the Catholic founders of this collegiate institution to name their team after a Latin pronoun meaning “What”. “Ooh, look out! Here come the Georgetown Whats!” If you are not intimidated by the preceding statement, you are not alone.
8. The Elon Fighting Christians
This small private school in North Carolina paints a pretty accurate picture of what was expected of its students back when the college was founded. Elon recently changed its team name to the “Phoenix,” but obviously no one was quite sure how to spell the plural form of the mythological bird. Phoenixs? Phoenixes? Phoeni? The spelling is hotly debated, and therefore the student body are still “Fighting Christians.” (Excuse me for the terrible pun).
7. The Scottsdale Community College Artichokes
In protest of the high athletic budget of the time, students voted to change the school’s mascot to the artichokes. It worked. I don’t know about any of you, but when I think of a dominant sports team, vegetables immediately come to mind. Be sure to get 3-5 servings a day.
6. The Gray’s Harbor College of Washington Chokers
Sigh. Back in the day, a “choker” was a muscular individual who’s job was to attach cables around large logs in order for them to be pulled away. While this lumberjack-ish masculinity would be fine for the name of an athletic team, “log clearing” is not the first thing most Americans think of when they hear “chokers.” It must be nice to be a sub-par athlete on one of their teams, however- seeing as you would never know if the fans were booing you or supporting you.
5. The Richland College Thunderducks
This university in Texas represents southern reasoning at its finest. The people that named the team probably thought it would be a good idea to take surveys of everyone’s biggest weather-related fear and favorite animal. “Thunderducks” was not likely to be exactly what the school had in mind, but look on the bright side- they could have been called the “Cloud Monkeys” or “Rain Ponies.”
4. The Deer Antlers
There is apparently a city in Arkansas called “Deer.” What better name for the high school’s mascot than “Antlers?” I already mentioned bad southern logic, but “Deer Antlers” is a whole new breed of WTF.
3. The Laurel Hill Hobos
Is there anything more enjoyable than making fun of the homeless? The people naming this Florida high school didn’t seem to think so. In all fairness, hobos are known for their athletic talent, grace, and academic success. Oddly enough, the students aren’t allowed to have jobs, take showers during the winter, or sleep in the lawn furniture section of Walmart. Oh, and the coaching staff smells like rat urine and whiskey.
2. The Watersmeet Nimrods
You may have seen the ESPN commercial a few years back that paid homage to this now-legendary high school team. Located in northern Michigan, where only life’s essentials matter (hunting, beer, sports, and hunting), the Nimrods bear the namesake equivalent to an “idiot”, “dummy”, or “moron. It is worth noting that only women over the age of 60 still use the word “Nimrod,” and it is the third most colloquially used term by senior ladies, falling slightly behind “Poppycock” and “Whippersnapper.”
1. The Macon Whoopees
The Macon Whoopees take first-prize as the most bizarre name in sports. This team was a franchise in the little-known SHL hockey league for one season in the 1970’s. “Whoopee,” for those of you not familiar with the term, was once used as another word for sex/coitus/love-making/screwing/banging/whatever. Completely ignoring the sexual promiscuity of hockey players, this moniker stands out above the rest as the weirdest name on this list.
There you have it, the comprehensive list of funny team names. Through my research, I found tons of names that made me laugh out loud. What names did I miss that belong on this list? Which ones are your favorite?
Sources: www.poynter.com, elon.edu, www.funtrivia.com, www.tekonsha.k12.mi.us
