Your partner did not make it home again tonight for dinner. This is the forth time this month and you are beginning to suspect something is wrong. Could this be warning signs of infidelity?
Before you confront your mate, there are several issues to consider. According to private investigator, Dutch Browning of Browning Detective Agency near Greenville, South Carolina, more often than not accusations of adultery are usually unfounded. People get too much time on their hands then start questioning their spouse’s faithfulness.” Nonetheless, infidelity is the number one cause of romantic break-ups in the United States. Roughly, 30%- 60% of people, claiming to be monogamous, will cheat on their significant other at some point. The Wall Street Journal’s article, “Young and the Restless,” reported most cheaters are under the age of 30. Experts believe this is due to the amount of time spent away from home and the accessibility technology offers people through a variety of online avenues, such as, social networking sites, webcam, and chat rooms.
The definition of what exactly constitutes as cheating has change partially because of the internet. At one time infidelity meant sexual interaction with persons outside of marriage, today the definition has broadened to include, emotional and online affairs. Emotional affairs are nonphysical intimate relationships with someone of the opposite sex other than your mate. These types of affairs can be just as damaging as a sexual one. But before confronting your partner, the accuser must be sure this is occurring and not an issue of his or her own insecurities. If unfounded, your mate can become resentful at your allegations, placing further strain on the relationship. On-line affairs through chat rooms and email are similar to emotional affairs, but it can grow sexual in nature eventually into a full blown affair.
2. A sudden change and or interest in appearance. Maybe he or she went to get a new hairstyle, new wardrobe, or joined a gym; chances are …’something is rotten in Denmark.’
3. Secretive cell phone and computer use. Have he or she changed their email pass code or stay up late for long hours online while you’re upstairs in bed? Is your mate’s cell phone always set to voice mail? Does he or she avoids talking on the phone when you are present?
4. Appears distant. Has he or she lost interest in you, the kids, and the job? What about spending more time alone and attending social gathering alone? Has he or she become more critical and intolerant with you and the kids?
5. Loss interest in sex. Can you remember the last time you were sexually intimate with your partner? If not, there is an old blues song that goes…”I don’t know who you giving it to but you sure ain’t giving it to me.” Enough said.
6. It’s all in the clothes. Has he or she started doing their own laundry, dropping it off to the dry cleaners themselves? I’m no CSI investigator, but chances are it is to destroy physical evidence.
7. Unexplained credit card charges or spending. Have you noticed strange charges on the monthly bill and or large qualities of cash being withdrawn from the ATM lately?
8. Bathing more frequently. Does your partner bathe immediately after entering the house or showers more frequently?
9. Starts telling little white lies. Have you caught your mate in a string of little white lies? Does he have a short answer to everything?
10. Avoidance. Has he or she been ignoring you and the children completely?
Now that you know and recognize the warning signs of infidelity, how can you be certain of your partner’s infidelity? First, you must to stay calm and not let on to your suspicions. Most likely, he or she will not tell you the truth when confronted anyway. The best thing to do is to get proof. Whether you seek out the services of a private investigator or do the legwork yourself, proof is what you need to move forward. Here are some simple tips to catch a cheater.
• The phone is a sure way to find out if infidelity has occurred. Get a hold of your mate’s cell phone and write down all unfamiliar numbers from the call log. Do a reverse phone search, which will give you a name to the owner of that extension. You can also GPS track the cell phone with BuddyWay, a beta freeware. Download and track in real-time.
• Also, acquire a remote spy software and install it on your partner’s computer or PDA. Several spy softwares on the market can transcribe email exchanges, as well as, text messages and forwards them directly into your email inbox.
• Keep a journal of your partner’s activities. Recording your spouse’s whereabouts places you in a better position to see patterns and unearth lies.
Now that you have the solid proof of the infidelity, you must make a decision whether to rid yourself of the relationship or save it at all costs. No matter what you decide, always remember you have options. Seek out a healthy support network; making connections with friends, family members and business associates. Your first set of priorities is to your kids, if you have them, and to yourself. Surviving betrayal is never easy, but with a clear plan of action, things can get better…one day at a time.
