During the 1990s one show dominated prime-time television more than any other program. No, I’m not talking about Friends. Seinfeld appealed to anyone who has ever been amused at the trivial nature of our daily social interactions. We roared with laughter, one half hour at a time. This list narrows it down to the best of the best for this groundbreaking television show. The 5 best Seinfeld episodes of all-time. I didn’t try to find the most important episodes or the ones with the most impact. I just picked the five funniest television episodes that you’ll ever see on a network program.
5) “The Hamptons” (Season 5, Episode 85)
The entire Seinfeld quartet makes a trip out to the Hamptons to visit friends, and to, “see the baby”. George brings his new girlfriend along, who he has yet to be intimate with. Everyone else see her naked by the pool before George has. George then tries to make things even by catching Jerry’s girlfriend, Rachel, while changing. Instead, Rachel walks in on a naked George, after he has gotten out of the pool and is experiencing significant, “shrinkage”. The effect of the cold pool water hasn’t done him justice and George worries that Rachel will tell his girlfriend about his deficiency.
Elaine is befuddled by the attractive doctor who finds her “breathtaking”. Moments after telling her this, he uses the same word when describing the baby, who is absolutely revolting to anyone who looks upon it. Kramer goes down to the ocean and grabs some lobster out of the traps. George’s girlfriend, after obviously having a talk to Rachel about George’s size, leaves the beach house. George, intent on settling the score with Rachel, serves up lobster in scrambled eggs to her, lobster being against her Kosher diet.
Funniest Moment: Jerry and George ask Elaine if she knows about “shrinkage”. Elaine, unaware of the phenomenon, says, “I don’t how you guys walk around with those things.”, and leaves the room.
4) The Opposite (Season 5, Episode 86)
In this episode, George and Elaine reverse roles, George becomes a success and Elaine flounders. George, upon realizing that every instinct that he has ever had has been completely wrong and has led him down the wrong path, decides to do the opposite of what his common sense is telling him to do. Uses this new philosophy, George gets himself an attractive new girlfriend, leaves his mom and dad’s place, and gets a new job with the New York Yankees. Elaine, on the other hand starts to slide. Her company is sunk after their merger fails to go through, and she is dumped by her boyfriend, when, upon hearing he’s been in a car accident, stops off for candy before going to the hospital.
While George and Elaine are up and down, Jerry realizes that things always seem to even out for him. Kramer has his coffee table book about coffee tables published, and makes a memorable appearance on Regis and Kathy Lee.
Funniest Moment: George tells his parents how much they mean to him and Jerry remarks to Kramer, “opposite”.
3) The Calzone (Season 7, Episode 130)
Elaine starts seeing, Todd Gak, a guy who has found “a dating loophole”, while Jerry’s new girlfriend gets away with anything because of her beauty. George begins eating lunch with Steinbrenner after getting him hooked on eggplant calzones from a local pizza shop. When he is mistakenly accused of stealing money from the tip jar and banned from the shop, George enlists the help of Kramer. Kramer, who has started drying his clothes in ovens, is also banned when he tries using all pennies to get the food. Steinbrenner goes in search of George when he smells the calzones from Kramer burnt shirt, which was overcooked in the pizza oven. George, desperate not to lose his new standing with the boss, has Newman get the calzones while on his mail route, as long as Newman has his order paid for as well. Unfortunately, Newman doesn’t work in the rain.
Jerry and Elaine both have trouble with their new relationships when the two meet over some bogus cigars that Jerry bought from Todd Gak.
Funniest Moment: George tries to convince Steinbrenner to try something new for lunch, and Steinbrenner is adamant about the calzones.
2) The Soup Nazi (Season 7, Episode 116)
Every moment in this episode is the Seinfeld cast in top form. A soup place has opened up that everyone is raving about. Unfortunately, the owner is a “Soup Nazi”, that has a very regimented ordering process. Meanwhile, Elaine finds an antique armoire that she loves, but can’t move into to her place until the next day. Kramer, watches the armoire, but is overtaken by two effeminate “street toughs”, who steal it. Jerry and his new girlfriend start affectionately baby talking in public, much to the dismay of George, who counters with his own baby talking with Susan.
The “Soup Nazi” has everyone up in arms, as he bans Elaine from his shop, kicks George out for asking for bread, and forces Jerry to choose soup over his new girlfriend. Kramer, failing in his attempt to confront the “street toughs”, gets the “Soup Nazi” to give an old armoire to him. In the end, Elaine gets the armoire and her revenge on the “Soup Nazi”.
Funniest Moment: Elaine unknowingly breaks all the rules while ordering, driving the “Soup Nazi” to rant and boot her from his place.
1) The Marine Biologist (Season 5, Episode 78)
Jerry meets an old female friend from college and tells her that George is now a marine biologist. George begins dating this women, having to keep up the charade that he is in fact a marine biologist. While walking along the beach, George and his new girlfriend encounter a group of people around a beached whale. Forced into action by his lies, George actually saves the whale.
Meanwhile, Elaine is chosen by Mr. Lippman to edit the new Testikov novel. While riding in the limo, the temperamental Russian writer tosses her electronic organizer out the window, hitting a woman. The woman then contacts Jerry, whom he is interested in. The women ends up getting it again when Jerry and Elaine make a return visit to Testikov.
George recants his heroic tale to the group, revealing that Kramer’s new hobby of driving golf balls into the ocean played a part in the whole scenario.
Funniest Moment: George’s retelling of his whale rescue is the single greatest Seinfeld moment. The comic timing of each character makes the perfect scene.
As with many Seinfeld episodes, these five can be watched over and over again with great enjoyment. I feel that there were so many good ones that I had to leave out, but these five are the cream of the crop.
