For the day, you’re a bride and a groom. For the rest of your lives, however, you’re husband and wife – a union confirmed by the vows you made on your wedding day. Churches and other religious organizations offer their traditional vow script, and for some that may be perfect. If you’re looking to add some personality to your wedding vows, don’t hesitate to discuss it with your officiant. That brings us to Tip No. 1:
TIP NO. 1
When choosing an officiant, discuss your desire for personalized vows. Many officiants have a basic script and will allow you to delete and insert as you see fit. However, officiants do have their limits. For example, a very close friend of mine personalized her wedding script by deleting many of the pastor’s “Amens.” During the ceremony, he said each and every one of them. If wording is very important to you – make that clear from the beginning. If not, be prepared that your officiant may take some liberties.
TIP NO. 2
Collect examples of wedding vow scripts. When my husband and I started writing our wedding vows, we thought it would be best to start from the heart. This proved frustrating, though, and we of course wanted to include some traditional elements of a Christian union. Luckily, my father-in-law (who was ordained online) emailed us some sample scripts and we later found a few other sample vows we liked. We circled the elements we liked out of all of them and found a way to weave them together to create our perfect vows. It was great to have wedding vows that were ours alone, but that still related to all of our guests. Some great websites for sample wedding vows are ForeverWed.com, USABride.com, and UltimateWedding.com.
TIP NO. 3
Write your vows seperately… with caution. If you’ve agreed to write your vows individually, it may be a wise idea to agree on a few key examples and sayings, and then go it alone. There’s enough to worry about on your wedding day then distasteful vows. You might also consider both using a few key phrases. The repetition will also tie the vows into one another.
TIP NO. 4
Read your vows aloud prior to the wedding … several times. There’s nothing worse than fumbling over words on your big day, but don’t turn the practice into an editing session. Just read the wedding vows and love them.
TIP NO. 5
Go beyond the vows. To make the wedding ceremony personal and unique you can also incorporate readings and music. Even if your officiant requires a traditional vow script, you can still make your walk up and down the aisle all you. Another good friend’s recessional song was “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness. My husband and I chose “Float On” by Modest Mouse. Chose a unique song as a reading or text from a religious book outside your own.
When deciding to write your vows, consider the time and patience involved. Above all else, your vows should be meaningful – not just personal.
