Let’s consider the hangover a challenge!
So you are a little balance impaired, having problems with zippers, and you left your shoes where? Never mind. Don’t try to speak until you peel your tongue from the roof of your mouth. I promise you, it is NOT the end of the world, and you most likely WILL drink again!
There exists a lovely remedy for your situation, a drink — even a First Meal, some say — to bring hope and help you forget what an absolute ass you may or may not have been last night. Here she comes, to the rescue, easing that headache and mildly biting you back. Bloody Mary!
This drink was appropriately invented in the roaring twenties, when the incidence of all-night partying rose with the hemlines. There are endless versions these days, just as there are endless types of hangovers. There is a Bloody Mary to suit just about any occasion, as long as you didn’t land in the hospital, jail, or some other alcohol-free zone.
If you can’t find your glasses, don’t worry. Feel your way to the kitchen or the bar, and make an Emergency Bloody Mary. Pour chilled tomato juice in a glass, a coffee mug, bowl, or whatever you can handle easily. Add an ounce or two of vodka. Stir. Go that extra mile, and float a slice of lemon on top. You did it! Now, drink carefully.
Not quite as impaired? Feeling under the weather, but functional? Try a classic Bloody Mary.
Begin with the basic cup of tomato juice and two ounces of vodka. Add a teaspoon of lemon juice, a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, a few drops of hot pepper sauce, and a quarter teaspoon celery salt. Add a pinch of garlic salt, too, if you’d like. Garnish with a stalk of celery and some green olives. There. Perfect.
Perhaps you are tougher than you look at the moment. A manly man (or a manly girl) who can damn well handle a hangover and anything else today might bring. Who looks forward, bygod, to challenges such as these. Who lives life on the edge! Who, if you don’t turn the music DOWN, will pummel you…wait, try this:
To the classic Bloody Mary, add a teaspoon of A-1 or other steak sauce, a splash of orange juice, a quarter teaspoon each of garlic and onion powder, and a half teaspoon of horseradish. Garnish with hot stuff, like chili peppers, and aggressive lime wedges.
Tough? Hardly, you say. I’m in love on a tropical island, and my hangover is tinged with bliss, with sweetness, with bleary-but-sexy memories. Bless you! I want to be there! Here’s a delightfully exotic Bloody Mary for you, since you are feeling so creative:
Replace the vodka in the Emergency Bloody Mary with two ounces of rum. Reduce the tomato juice to three-fourths of a cup. Add about an ounce-and-a-half of pineapple juice, a teaspoon of hoisin sauce, a splash of lime juice, three teaspoons of coconut cream, a teaspoon of sugar, and a touch of horseradish and celery salt for spice. Garnish with coconut curls and pineapple wedges. Drink it in a hot tub, with a lover, preferably!
Don’t you feel better already? Oh, I found your shoes. You don’t want to know where!
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