When I quit my full-time job to pursue Mary Kay as my career, a co-worker tried to warn me about the “Mary Kay cult”. He told me that he had heard many stories and rumors surrounding the behaviors and stereotypes of these fast-paced women and just wanted me to be careful. Of course, I was so deep in the pink fog that I just laughed at him and told him that was completely ridiculous. Mary Kay a cult? No way! That was the craziest thing I had ever heard! These women were just devoted, positive, energetic and powerful and they had the secret to life that everyone else was just jealous of. After all, it had been drilled into my brain that “negative” talk like that from outsiders was to be “canceled” and I was not to be around people who spoke of Mary Kay in such a manner.
What is a cult?
When we think of a cult we automatically think of a religious group or organization. Webster’s Dictionary also defines a cult as:
a. great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book); especially: such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad
b. the object of such devotion
c. a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion
Although Mary Kay, Inc. is a Christian-based company, this is not why I believe the company’s sales force exhibits cult-like behaviors.
Mary Kay Ash, who is the founder of Mary Kay, Inc., is idolized among the sales force. At sales meetings, Mary Kay Ash’s picture is plastered everywhere and she is repeatedly quoted by beauty consultants, Independent Sales Directors and National Sales Directors. If a beauty consultant is unsure of what to do in a particular recruiting or sales situation, she is told to think about what Mary Kay would do. What would Mary Kay say? How would Mary Kay act? The sales force is told to conduct their business as if Mary Kay herself was an angel on her shoulder watching over her all of the time. In the eyes of the Mary Kay sales force, Mary Kay was perfect and never a bad word is spoken about her. If anyone questions any of Mary Kay Ash’s business tactics and multiple marriages, she is quickly silenced.
The National Sales Director position was created so that these top women (less than 1% of the 1,000,000 person sales force) could pass on Mary Kay’s mission of “enriching women’s lives”. Since Mary Kay Ash is no longer alive, the sales force look up to and idolize these women as they have Mary Kay Ash. I have seen in my own personal experience in Mary Kay beauty consultants and sales directors who will go to enormous lengths just to be in the same room with these National Sales Directors (NSDs). Whether it be through purchasing hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of inventory, to doing whatever is necessary to “win a challenge” to be in the presence of a NSD as their reward. Beauty consultants are taught to emulate these women of power within Mary Kay.
Rick Ross, who is a noted cult expert, has a Cult Education Forum where he discusses and warns the public on cults of many kinds. Rick Ross has testified as an expert witness surrounding destructive cults and other controversial groups in the United States. Rick Ross has also worked with law enforcement, the FBI and the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Source: http://www.rickross.com
Rick Ross says that there are some commercial groups, in particular multi-level marketing companies (MLMs), that have cult-like tendencies. Ross states that these groups emphasize total commitment, use manipulative tactics to achieve their goals, and they avoid answering critical questions.
In Mary Kay, if a sales force member questions sales or recruiting tactics used within the company, she is labeled as “negative” and told that she “does not believe in the dream”. Sales force members are also highly encouraged to do the following:
1. Stay away from people (even family members if necessary) who do not support the Mary Kay business or who question the Mary Kay/MLM/direct sales marketing structure.
2. Do not watch television or listen to the radio. A sales force member should only be listening to “positive” CDs and/or reading material by Mary Kay Ash or National Sales Directors.
3. Be in constant contact only with those in the company who are “in a position where you aspire to be” (ex: car driver, sales director, NSD).
4. Always appear and act as though everything is “great” regardless of how you truly feel. This goes beyond having a positive attitude. The movie Stepford Wives provides a perfect example of behaviors and attitudes exhibited by Mary Kay consultants.
5. Although the failure rate in Mary Kay is high (as it is in all MLM companies), it is drilled into sales force members that these “failures” didn’t achieve success because they were “lazy”, “quitters”, or “losers.
Ross says that cults draw in all types of people regardless of social, educational, financial and family backgrounds. Ross states that cults are very good at persuasion and indoctrination. Cult recruits are often caught at a very vulnerable time in their lives and Ross says these victims do not “recognize the warning signs necessary to make a more balanced and informed decision”.
I have heard repeatedly from many ex-consultants and ex-directors of Mary Kay that even as intelligent and educated as many of us are, we can’t believe that we fell for the Mary Kay gimmick or hype. In talking with many of these women, I have found that the majority of us joined at particularly vulnerable moments in our lives. For me personally, I joined when I was very pregnant; I was lonely at home because my husband was busy with other projects and I was very unhappy at my current job. The appeal of Mary Kay was so enticing because the sales force is taught to make it look easy to succeed. The financial opportunities, prizes and recognition are heavily played up and the actual amount of work required to achieve these rewards is underplayed.
The website Cults 101: Checklist of Cult Characteristics lists the following as hallmark signs of cult activity. Judge for yourself how Mary Kay fits into this checklist.
Source: http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm
The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.
As I mentioned earlier, the Mary Kay sales force regards Mary Kay as almost a God figure. Their devotion to her is unwavering.
Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.
Anyone who questions areas of the business they feel are not on the up and up are deemed publicly as “Negative Nellies” and are told that they have “stinking thinking”. They are called out at unit meetings in front of others as examples of how not to behave in Mary Kay.
The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel (for example, members must get permission to date, change jobs, marry – or leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, whether or not to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth.)
All sales force members are given a dress code to abide by. Directors and NSDs also instruct consultants to be in daily contact with them and listening only to Mary Kay related CDs. The uplines in Mary Kay are also very good at trashing corporate jobs, brainwashing consultants into thinking that only in Mary Kay can true financial freedom be found.
The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.
If you are a consultant in Mary Kay, you are strongly advised to only associate with others in Mary Kay who share your same passion or who are higher in the organization than you. If you associate with people outside of Mary Kay and they do not share your passion and enthusiasm for the business, then your time with them must be limited. Consultants are told that these “negative influences” may drag the consultant down and hinder her from achieving her goals. Once a consultant quits Mary Kay, her association with most of those within the company ceases completely.
The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members’ participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group (for example, lying to family or friends, or collecting money for bogus charities).
There are many unethical sales and recruiting tactics in Mary Kay that women will resort to in order to achieve their goals. Fishbowls where “only one person is the winner”, but everyone is called and told they “won the prize” of a free makeover; inflated earnings without mentioning the high level of expenses involved; leaving out important information during the recruiting process to lure women into the business; signing up family members and friends or fake recruits to complete directorship or other positions within the company.
The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.
In Mary Kay, many areas have what is referred to as the “Big Girl’s Club”. Only those who are serious about their businesses have “put on their big girl panties” and shone above all the others. In order to fit in, many feel they need to do whatever it takes to be a part of the “Big Girl’s Club” in Mary Kay.
Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.
In Mary Kay, only goals set within Mary Kay are respected. I have seen women who are consultants start other successful businesses, only to be criticized and put down because of this. If it is not Mary Kay related, it is not of value. If you are not always thinking or doing something to get closer to your goal in Mary Kay, then it’s not important. If you have to miss a Mary Kay event for a family event, the consultant is made to feel guilty because she is using her “family as an excuse” to not move ahead in the Mary Kay world.
The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.
The company needs new recruits all of the time in order to thrive. With a consultant turnover rate of 70%, directors and NSDs need a continual stream of new blood to make money.
The group is preoccupied with making money.
NSDs and directors teach in Mary Kay that if it doesn’t make you money, you shouldn’t be doing it. “Scrubbing your own toilet is not going to make you rich”.
Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.
Although during the recruiting process a new consultant is told that all trainings and events in Mary Kay are optional, the pressure to attend all events after joining is enormous. A consultant must “show up to go up” and not use her “family as an excuse” for not succeeding. The only excuse for not attending all Mary Kay functions is your own death. Consultants are continually told that it is “short-term sacrifice for long-term gain”, even though only a very small percentage makes it to the top.
Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.
Mary Kay women are told they need to only be around “positive” people. “Positive” in Mary Kay equates to other Mary Kay women who believe in the dream. Anyone who questions MLM practices are considered “negative” and should be avoided at all costs.
The most loyal members (the “true believers”) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group. They believe there is no other way to be, and often fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.
Once you quit Mary Kay, you are no longer associated with by your former “friends”. The fear is that you may bring negative influence into the lives of these “achievers” because you quit and saw the truth surrounding the business. The women that you used to speak with on a daily basis no longer call. You are no longer a part of the “Big Girl’s Club” and you are to be avoided at all costs.
Judge for yourself. Do you think Mary Kay resembles a cult?
