There is a giant misconception that to have a great tailgate one needs to have a $5,000 grill, Omaha Steaks, and beer that is imported. That is not the way to have a great American Tailgate. There are a few necessities needed and a few luxuries that are often overlooked.
Necessities: The Ultimate Tailgate must include these common things to ensure a good time.
Food: I have seen these NFL pre-game shows where these guys are breaking out hundreds and hundreds of dollars on the food alone. Listen, people are not that picky. Grab yourself a little grill and stick with the essentials, hot dogs and hamburgers. You can grill the hamburgers and boil the dogs in beer. Very cheap and very simple, but do not forget buns or condiments. Also, do not forget some sort of chip product. This helps from people nagging you about when the food is going to be done. Do not bring Fruit! Fruit has no purpose at a tailgate unless of course you mean tomato (which I think is a fruit), which goes on the burger.
Beer: One thing I hate to see at a tailgate is expensive beer or beer in bottles. Beer in bottles is a very dangerous situation. Not just for the rival team’s fans, but for the whole tailgaiting community. You pop a tire because of one of thos ebottles it does not matter how much you just spanked your conference rival, you’re tailgate is ruined. The expensive beer is just comical. The whole point to beer at the tailgait is to put as much in you before you have to pay for the expensive beer inside the stadium. Like Dierks Bentley song, keep the beer “Domestic, Light, and Cold.”
Table and Chairs: I know some people think that this is almost too obvious of a point but I am telling you that one day you will be at a tailgate where the table is missing, all the joy from day will be missing next. Listen a table and chairs just makes it more comfortable. Leaning against a car or sitting on an actual bumper is just going to get you annoyed before the game. You will be frustrated enough by the offensive lineman, who for some damn reason, can not remember the snap count to save his life.
Luxuries: Extra things needed to boost your tailgaiting experience.
Fun & Games: Even though we are about to be entertained by the best athletes on earth in just a few hours, the pre-game must be entertaining as well. Instead of making fun of the fat guys who still think it is cool to paint their chest, here are a few things that just enhance your entertainment. A football is a great way to apss time and live in the glory days on Sundays. The only downside to the football are the “office heroes” who can not catch or throw a football to save their life so then dent your brand new SUV. If you are bringing the football at least be capable of hitting your partner twenty yards away. The other good idea to bring to a tailgate is to bring a deck of cards. But do not play Texas Hold ‘Em and actually gamble. This fad is getting ridiculous. Play old school favorites like Rummy or Spades, and if you have kids at the tailgate mix in a little “Go Fish”.
Music: Listen if you are one of those guys who has a system in a car please do not show off by playing your N.W.A. at full blast. Please, I get it already, you are a total loser who compensates by having fancy gadgets and nice cars. Music should be enjoyable and people from YOUR tailgate should hear it. Play songs that are enjoyable for all of your tailgaiting friends. Do not play heavy metal to try and pump your wife up for the game. Another option is to listen to sports radio before the game which is a decent idea, but I have noticed in the past that a sports overload can leave the rest of tailgaters upset.
Tent: This is one of the most overlooked item to have at a tailgate. The tent is great because none of control the weather. And those of us with season tickets, who love Saturdays and Sundays because of the tradition of the tailgate, are going to run into a few nasty days throughout the season. The tent can keep your tailgates from being washed out.
Hopefully these suggestions have fixed your tailgaiting problems. if you have never tailgated before, live by these rules and you will never go wrong. Now go out and Tailgate!
