Shakespeare makes it very clear in Romeo and Juliet that parental figures can often not be the actual parents of a child. The Nurse and Friar Lawrence are better parents when compared to Romeo and Juliet’s actual parents. The Friar is a better parent since he is understanding, the Nurse because she is maternal, and they are both very trustworthy.
When the play began, it was clear that the Nurse and Friar Lawrence had more appearances than Lord and Lady Capulet/Montague. In fact, Lord Montague makes only a few appearances throughout the entire play. The Nurse is Juliet’s “wet nurse” meaning that she was raised by her right from birth. Martin Stevens states that “her primary function is to convey infomartions of warnings” (Stevens 1). Throughout the play, the Nurse arrives in situations where it is becoming very dramatic. She adds humor to the play and can be considered a more important character than Lady Capulet is since Lady Capulet has little impact on Juliet’s life.
Additionally, planning a modern day wedding is done mostly by the mother of the bride. When Romeo and Juliet were to be married, the Nurse takes the role of the mother and arranges for the wedding to take place. Martin Stevens states “She acts as love’s herald first to arrange the marriage” (Stevens 1). Lord Capulet would have been angered at her decision to marry Juliet with Romeo behind his back with Lady Capulet supporting Lord Capulet’s decision. The Nurse however, wants the best for Juliet, which is what any mother would want.
When Romeo and Juliet become a couple, they are unable to communicate with ease. Since the two families dislike each other, communication is a problem. Martin Stevens states that the problem was solved because of the nurse “The nurse’s role as a messenger who acts as a go between for the young lovers in Romeo and Juliet” (Stevens 2). The Nurse is the glue holding Romeo and Juliet together, since otherwise they would be unable to arrange meetings.
The Nurse knows everything about Romeo and Juliet’s relationship “Shakespeare sharpens the impact of the messenger function by making the Nurse the bearer of all tidings prior the tragic separation” (Stevens 1). The miscommunication between Romeo and Juliet begins when the Nurse was unable to talk to Romeo about what was going on with Juliet (which the Nurse had usually done before). Romeo was now in Mantua, which was a far distance from Verona. Romeo is broken out of the communication ring and this is the tragic flaw that leads to his death in the end.
During the balcony scenes, the Nurse also plays an important role in making sure Juliet was not found. Juliet’s discovery would cause the two different families to explode in arguments again. The Nurse is acting as a “security guard” from Juliet’s parents. Lady Capulet did come into Juliet’s room, but the Nurse is there to prevent Juliet from being seen with Romeo. (Stevens 1).
Friar Lawrence is also just as important as the Nurse is in the play. He also supports the engagement between Romeo and Juliet. He understands how Romeo was young and wants to get around. The Friar’s reason for following through with the marriage is different than the Nurse’s though “When Romeo has told Friar Lawrence of his new love, the Friar sees a marriage between Romeo and Juliet as a means of ending the feud” (Goldstein 102) The Friar is going to marry them and then not tell the Capulet family about the wedding. He has to keep Romeo’s trust which was what he did until after Romeo’s death.
Romeo trusts the Friar before and after his marriage to Juliet. Romeo asks the Friar to marry him to Juliet, and with some persuasion, the Friar does just this. “He does so not to sanctify an act of providence that has had Romeo & Juliet fall in love at first sight, but, as his express reason to Romeo indicates, ‘to turn your households’ rancor to pure love'”. The Friar not only wants to keep Romeo and Juliet happy, but he also wants to end the feud somehow. Friar Lawrence wants the parents to find out at the right time, in order to prevent the marriage from being forcibly ended “His refusal to seek either parent may testify to his knowledge of their placeable hatred and so to the futility of such a proceeding. But is also testifies to the possibility that the friar desires to garner sole praise for finding a solution to the long stand feud” (Brenner 72). The Friar wants the feud to end between the two families, out of all things.
The Friar’s refusal to tell anyone about the wedding is not a bad thing at all. If anyone else knew about Romeo and Juliet being married, the effects the Friar wanted would backfire. He is always looking out for the best for Romeo and Juliet. If his plan works, then Romeo and Juliet could live together without any secrets. The prince, who also wants to feud to end, could not be told about the secret wedding “If the friar sees the prince as I do, he would know that the insecure prince would resent the friar as a political threat whose plan would aggrandize the Church and the expense of the State” (Brenner 71). The prince is a threat to the friar, so he maintains his trust with Romeo and Juliet and tells no one.
The friar also has to maintain his trust with Romeo and Juliet because if Lord Capulet discovers what he was doing, the feud between the families would spark again. However, the effects could be considerably more serious because of Romeo and Juliet’s situation “This in turn should enrich the plays emotional force by undercutting the potential melodrama that lies in the apparent collision of a bad father, Capulet, and a good father, Friar Lawrence” (Brenner 74). The play has the potential to have a giant brawl of the families, but the friar prevents this.
When the friar creates his plan to reunite Romeo and Juliet, he plans for it to be effective and permanent. If he sneaks Juliet out, a comprehensive search would be conducted for her. Romeo and Juliet would be running constantly. The friar forms the entire plan, instead of letting Romeo have a say in it. This is an error, even though the Friar hopes that it will make the plan have no chance at failing “Since the end he seeks and have romeo take Juliet to Mantua, that would be more simply served by spiriting her over the border” (Brenner 69). The Friar understands how Romeo needs to be with Juliet, so he creates a plan to reunite him with Juliet. The Nurse also understands how Juliet felt and knew it is best for Juliet to be with Romeo.
Both the Nurse and the Friar understand how Romeo and Juliet feel throughout the story. When Romeo is banished, the nurse knows Juliet is upset, but she wants to make her happy again by suggesting a marriage to Paris. The Friar also marries Romeo and Juliet when he knows that they are in love. Lord Capulet would have swatted Romeo away and would force Juliet to marry Paris if he knew about this back door deal.
Overall, Friar Lawrence and the Nurse are better parents than Romeo and Juliet’s parents. They actually care about what they want and maintain their trust. The Nurse is more of a mother to Juliet, while the Friar is more understanding than Lady and Lord Capulet/Montague. Both the Friar and the Nurse are more understanding parents when compared to both Romeo and Juliet’s parents. Juliet’s parents would have made her miserable for the rest of her life with Paris, so ultimately, she was happier to have died next to her one true love.
Works Cited
Goldstein, Martin. The Tragedy of Old Capulet.” English Studies 77: n.pag. RPT in WilliamShakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Ed. Harold Bloom. Philadelphia: Chelsea House, 2005. 98-106
Brenner, Gerry. “Dark View of Friar Lawrence’s Motivations”. Bloom’s Guildes William Shakespeare’sRomeo and Juliet. Ed. Harold Bloom. Philadelphia: Chelsea House, 2005. 69-75
Johnson, Hamish. Who’s Who in Shakespeare (Who’s Who). New York: Routledge, 2001.
Mittelstaedt, Walt. Student Guide to William Shakespeare. Berkeley Heights, NJ, 2005
