I have never officially celebrated any of my wedding anniversaries. No cards, gifts, special dates, or vacations for this gal. For the past 10 years, as each anniversary rolled around, I was either pregnant, nursing, delivering a baby, or too broke to afford anything spectacular (not that being pregnant or delivering a baby isn’t spectacular). Too bloated, too broke, too tired, too many kids. In all honesty, it was gift enough to have made it another year with each other. That alone was more expensive than any gift, let me tell you.
It’s never bothered me, though. Likewise, it’s never bothered my husband. We were so caught up with family and life. We felt we were managing our marriage just fine. We didn’t need anything “extra” or “frivolous” to celebrate. In addition, and at the risk of offending the female population, I’m going to admit that I am much more happy choosing my own gift(s). And so is he. My preferred method is this: I order my gift online; it arrives FedEx within a week of said anniversary; I squeal in delight! It’s just as exciting – if not more – knowing I’ll love what I’ve picked out.
A GIft That Keeps On Giving
I unintentionally left a “wish-list” laying on the counter. My husband saw it and later told me that I could choose ONE of those gifts for my anniversary present. Due to the cost of each item on that list, one would suffice. I immediately knew which was top priority. I wanted to buy this gift months ago, but opted for a trampoline instead (to entice outdoor, self-contained entertainment for energetic children). This gift (as well as the trampoline) would benefit the entire family.
Top on my list? The coveted Vitamix! Loved by mom-chefs everywhere, I’ve had my eye on this powerful countertop machine for several years but never made the commitment to purchasing. Look, I’m a non-stop homeschooling mama and small business owner that, no matter how hard I try, do not yet feel domesticated. I grew up in the mom-with-a-microwave era. I wasn’t exposed to organic, garden grown, grass fed anything. Let alone the chopped fresh, ordered in bulk, no high fructose corn syrup or food dyes popularity that is all the rage these days. And what makes it worse – I don’t particularly enjoy cooking, meal-planning, baking, grilling, or the like. However, I do have a family to feed. Each day there are three meals to prepare and serve (no school lunches for us) plus snacks.
So, in what I am going to call a valiant effort, I hope to increase the amount of greens my family eats, reduce the amount of time I spend cutting up fruits and veggies, and reduce the abundance of moldy food I throw out. It’s time for this beast of a blender to arrive so that I can prepare for another healthy 10 years (God-willing, more than that).
Gift Ideas For A Picky Wife
I’m not picky. I’m really not. I just don’t see the sense in someone giving me a gift that I have no use for. I would rather pick out something that I am excited to use. A gift that will make my life easier, more enjoyable, or both. So what else might be on your anniversary wish list? Spice boxes from Penzeys , outdoor furniture, an art class, new curtains for the girls’ bedroom, new school tables for the classroom from Pottery Barn, or maybe a new diamond ring – bigger and brighter than the one we could afford all those years ago. Okay, so the last one does no one any good except the daughter who would get it when I die, but it’s a nice thought!
At any rate, sometimes gifts are more meaningful when they can be used in a way to better family life. Eating healthier, spending time outdoors together, making a cozier place for your girls, finding your inner creativity – any of these are gifts that keep on giving. In ten years, there’s a lot of discovery for a mom. My biggest discovery is that I want better for my children and my husband and I must be the ones to provide the opportunities, and the drive that is necessary. I want all of the frustration and anger that my marriage has experienced to be less for my children. I want the joy, humbleness and faithfulness that my marriage has to increase, for them, a hundred-fold.
Five More Years
Another five years and we’ll be at the 15 year anniversary. Our children will have grown a little older (I will, of course, still be 32) and perhaps that will be the year for a family vacation! Or a diamond ring. Who knows what will happen in another five years. The first five years of our marriage were babies, a new home, getting by. The next five years were spent struggling to survive, living paycheck to paycheck and trying to do God’s will for our family. New adventures, new doubts, breaking old habits and beliefs and molding our family into a family of God, the years are now melted in hope and persistence. We’ve been through a lot of growth and ridicule as we’ve followed the path of our lives. I hope that now, at the 10 year mark, we are past the judgements, the doubt, the curiosity and fear of what will come, and can now focus on growing more as a family of God. With confidence and by trusting ourselves as parents and faithful spouses, my prayer is that we can move forward to a healthier, more vibrant life with our beautiful children. That is the ultimate gift.
Whatever you choose to give, buy or do for yourself, don’t let your 10 year anniversary slip away without some self-reflection. You and your marriage have come a long way. Find some way to celebrate and look forward to healthier, stronger, more faith-filled and blessed years ahead.
