If you were to ask anyone today what real life 24/7 Lifestyle BDSM is all about, you will get dozens of different answers. They will range from scenes to different toys that are used, from no limits to all the time. They will range from always being available and not having secrets to … You get the point. But what very few will tell you is the fact, that the essence of it is respect, honesty, love, integrity and patience.
In a real life 24/7 Lifestyle BDSM setting, you are not only going by your “fantasy” but by what real life demands of you. It brings real life – everyday problems into it. Sicknesses, money problems, loss of job, moving, children and more are all factored into what makes your relationship worth having. All those are things that must be considered and taken into consequence in a real life 24/7 relationship.
I often hear the question if a 24/7 slavery is abuse and even the Book “Screw the Roses, give me the Thorns” alluded to this. The answer is a straight and very stern no. It isn’t abuse, but a true and I mean true real life based 24/7 Lifestyle Relationship is becoming rapidly less and less.
Respect!
Let us strip our D/s or M/s relationship down to the very core. If I personally take every toy out of the room, every hot and naughty fantasy away and only keep the two people involved in it without as much as a push on the tush, what do you have left? Do we still have a Master/Mistress and slave/submissive or do we now only have a normal everyday couple? That answer can only be answered by taking a close look at them both as they interact with each other. Is respect given and taken equally? Are the two still addressing each other in a form that shows their station? Is the submissive still in a real life appropriate situation in his/her submission or did he/she step out of it? I am the Business End of MVseProductions and for that reason I have to be aggressive and assertive, but when I am in the presence of Master Viper I will deal with him with the respect he deserves.
I have made this statement many times and I will do it again. A real life based 24/7 Lifestyle M/s relationship is like a very old fashioned marriage. When everything is said and done, the M is the head of the household and the Ruler of his/her domain and property. Does that mean the s has nothing to say? Not at all!
A good slave/submissive should be educated, intelligent and yes even assertive enough to speak up if something is not right. But it is the way it is done. Respect!!! If you don’t have respect, you have nothing. Respect also means, being able to give each other some space from time to time, to respect each others personal boundaries. To always be willing to learn more, to become better and yes also to be honest enough to admit when things aren’t right.
Honesty
This is one is the basis of respect in my books. If you don’t have honesty, you don’t have respect. Honesty involves not only being honest with your partner, but also being honest with yourself. You will grow with time, you will change with time and you will find things in your-self that may even shock you at times. You will notice your interests shifting; you will find anger and despair, happiness and joy and even rebellion at times in you. There may come a time in a dominants life that he or she is so overwhelmed with real life that dominating and having to extend even more effort in the training has just become too much for them for a while. Maybe secretly they even desire to be handled for a while or toped just to get some of the stress of. Sometimes a slave may desire to play a bit with his/her Master or Mistress and enjoy having their passion in their hand instead of the other way around. You have to be able to be honest with yourself first, before you can be honest with anyone else. Be sure you are where you want to be and if you are not recognize what is wrong, and then fix it. Remember that your Partner can not do anything for you if he/she isn’t aware of the problem to begin with. When you just hint or keep the person guessing, they will eventually hurt you because they will guess wrong. Be honest, don’t have secrets from each other and don’t cheat each other out of your inner selves and honesty. You both owe it to each other.
Love
The elusive word and emotion we all secretly want and never fully understand. So what is love anyway and why is it the cornerstone of this type of relationship more so then others? Love is the one thing that can not be bought. It is the one thing that can not be forced. It is the one thing that will make us want to be all we can be for the other person. There are many slaves and Dom/mes that are not in a love relationship and for those the need to play out their desires is strong. For me however, I can never be what I am for my Master to any other male. I go to great length in understanding him, not requesting things I know I have a right to when he is too exhausted or worn out from life and making certain that he is always the God, even on those days when he feels like dirt. We all have those days! I love every bit of his strength, every bit of his weaknesses and even his own insecurities which he has very few of. Love is all encompassing and it will overlook things that you would normally not. I am talking about a mature love, not a lust, in love or even the overpowering young love. I mean a love that will endure anything that is thrown at you. M/s relationships are not easy; they are not always dry cut. You deal with deep emotions and this love runs into the spirit. You truly must almost become part of each other, to keep each other safe. I am Master Vipers’ right hand, he is my right hand. I am his heart and he is mine. Can we each function without each other? Yes, we can. Would he die should I be taken? Not likely, but he would miss me horribly. I will never fully know how important I am to him, and neither will he ever know. But our love is strong enough to overcome just about anything. And our love is not just based on pure emotion either, we have a lot in common that has fused as together, and just enough opposite to make it interesting. I am including a link her to one of the Articles I have written for a vanilla site, I would like you to read it. Remember again. M/s 24/7 is even deeper then a everyday marriage.
Integrity
Live your life the way you want those around you to view you. Slaves, you will reflect your Master/Mistress at all times. When you act as if you don’t have any sense in your head, it reflects badly on them. I am not talking bout fantasy online, I am talking about real lifestyle. Real life, real time, REAL. The one when someone slaps it hurts. If you run around and hang all over every Dom/me you meet, you show that you have no respect. When you openly badmouth your Master/Mistress then you have just stepped way out of your corner.
Likewise, Masters/Mistresses your words, your actions, your reliability show others what you are really like. You can talk a big game, but when it comes down to it, can you be depended on to follow through.
We all know that most Masters/Mistresses treat other slaves often with more courtesy then their own. It is a fact of life. However, when you do such a thing you will show an experienced slave that you are really not much worth.
Integrity is living your life with honor. That means conduct in a way that honors yourself and those that belong to you. It means that you don’t say you will do something that you can not hold. It means you don’t chase every skirt walking by when you have a slave. It means that you are there for each other. It means that you have enough control over yourself to be fair. It means that your conduct is above reproach. It means that you take this lifestyle serious and not use it as an excuse to be a Bitch or a Bastard.
Patience
It is more then just a virtue. It is essential. When you deal with another human being in such a deep area, you must have just that. Patience! Nothing ever goes right the first time out and often after many years things can go wrong. Patience with your slave, patience with your Master/Mistress and patience with yourself.
If you are in this real life based 24/7 Lifestyle M/s relationship for duration, then sooner or later all the play with be out of it. You may get too old, you may get too sick, but you are still M/s. All the other stuff is fun and great when it is there, but in the end it is all just window dressing. In the end the lifestyle is inside of you. So that is why I call it the essence of …
