The Death of the Red Dress
Philippians 3:14
I press toward the mark for the prize of the highcalling of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
Today, I threw my red dress in the garbage.
I had purchased it almost ten years ago when I was over 25 lbs heavier than what I am today.
I remember when I walked into The Avenue with one of my co-workers to do some quick shopping
while I was on my lunch break, and saw it hanging there. The red dress was waiting for me to take it home .
During that time, I stood approximately 5’1 inches. I will not mention how much I weighed at the time, but
I was FAT, unhealthy, and very unhappy with myself. I needed that red dress in order to make me feel happy
and attractive. I purchased the dress without hesitation, simply because it was so beautiful… and red.
I was not known to wear bright and happy colors during that time in my life. I had just lost my mother who had
died suddenly and peacefully in her sleep of a heart attack. Her death really broke my heart. I could not bear to
look at a Mothers Day card, or pass by her old house without falling apart. That was a very horrible and sad
time in my life. I longed for my mother for many years after her passing. I still long for her today.
Almost one year later, my grandmother passed away without even knowing that her oldest daughter
had died before her. My grandmother had Alzheimers when she died. In my grandmothers mind,
everyday was Sunday and her children were all doing well. We never tried to tell her anything that
was different. I missed my grandmother dearly.
A few months after my grandmother’s death, my sister Edna was found dead in her home.
She had died of an apparent heart attack. She was only 45 years old. Edna left three beautiful children
to cherish her memory and to carry on without her. That was another unbearable sadness. But thank
God for the strength that He provided for me to go through!
Even though I was blessed with a nice job, nice home and cars, the stress of my career, and raising
two different sets of children were taking its toil upon my body. I was diagnosed with hypertension
and hypothyrosim and also had to have a partial hysterectomy . In the maintime, God blessed me to
give birth to two sons who were born only twelve months and tree weeks apart. I was suffering
emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I felt like the red dress would really pull me up out of my misery.
I wore my red dress to work whenever I knew that I had to process several cases, andhad to interview
clients non-stop all day long. I also wore the red dress to work whenever the hurricanes hit the coast of
North Carolina, and our office had to supply emergency benefits to 75% of the residents of Wilmington, NC .
(Most of them were lying just to get some foodstamps.. but whatever!).
One day, I decided to lose some weight. I did the lowcarb thing, and lost almost fifty pounds.
The red dress stayed with me, even though it was beginning to hang on me like a
sheet hanging on a clothes line. But, I still held on to my red dress. I looked good on the
outside, and my red dress was a part of my happiness.
Even though my physical health had gotten better, my emotional health continued to deteriate.
My profession became so stressful until I decided to walk away from that high paying job one
day, and not look back.
During the transformation of going from a middle class to lower class income family, I applied for
foodstamps. I gave up a couple of automobiles, and a house that was over mortgaged and severely
damaged by several hurricanes. I wore my red dress to the foodstamp office. I had to look good,
even though I was the one on the other side of the desk this time. I wore my red dress when my
family and I were homeless for almost seven days, living in a hotel room in Burgaw, NC. I wore it to
bed at night because it was warm whenever the hotel room was cold.
When God blessed me with another house, and several work at home jobs, I wore my dress as I worked
during the day . It continued to give me comfort. I had finally arrived. I can work in my house, make good
money, and never pay for gasolineto go to work again, and still take care of my two sons. I did not have to
dress for work. I worked in my red dress instead. This time, I wore my dress, because it was comfortable.
The beauty of the dress had faded. It was no longer a show stopper. It was now a comfortable part of my past.
Finally, after trusting God and suffering through many things that I never thought that I could endure, I have decided
to bury my red dress. Why? My mother always said, “Never forget where God has bought youfrom.” How could I
possibly forget the comfort that only God could give me whenever I watched them lower my mothers coffin into the
ground? How could I forget the strength that only God could give to me when I watched my sister suffer and finally die
in her home alone. How could I possibly forget how God gave me the courage to leave my career so that I could live
and not die and declare the works of the Lord(Psalms 118:17-18)?
How could I forget the day when I realized that it was time for me to trust God,
and walk alone with Him regardless of who left my side as I traveled.
It was God who did all of this for me. I no longer needed the vanity of the red dress.
I no longer needed the warmth of my red dress. I certainly no longer needed
the comfort of my red dress. The red dress is finished.
I threw it in the garbage. Eventhough, I had worn it on several occassions while I was making this journey,
God was really all that I ever needed.
RIP Red Dress!
(c) 2008 by Janice M. Chambers
