Even though I still consider myself a newlywed after three blissful years of marriage to my incredible husband, we have already experienced a few rough patches here and there as any marriage does. No one thing or book can totally prepare a person for the relationship that will ultimately be the most important one that they’ll have during their time here on earth. However, I am very thankful that before and during the first years of marriage, my husband and I read many of books on preserving our marriage and getting along with each other. My husband and I often laugh that we literally have no idea how people make it through life without reading some of the books we’ve read. We know how lost we would have been without them. It is very important for both spouses to read the same book. This is important because it gives both partners a common “language” when referring to how one is feeling or what they need the other to do to make them feel better. Here are the top books that I have read for my marriage so far:
1. Skill with People by Les Giblin. This phenomenal book should be titled: Skill with your Spouse, Family, Boss, Friends, Co-Workers, etc.! It is a great read! It goes into detail about the importance of smiling, being friendly, avoiding arguments, and making others feel special. I truly don’t know how I would survive life, let alone my marriage without this incredible book!
2. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Literally a must read for every person who has relationships in their life. Gary Chapman describes five unique ways that people interpret love. He goes into detail to describe how not every person feels loved and loves others in the same manner. While some people feel loved after spending quality time with their spouse, another may feel most loved when their spouse brings them a small gift of roses or jewelry. I have a friend who feels most loved after her husband brings her home a pack of gum…that small little gift really makes her feel important! What Gary points out that is most intriguing, is the fact that most couples do not necessary each speak the same love language. Therefore, it is very important to find out your spouse’s language to you can keep his or her “love tank” full.
3. Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. Okay, once again after I read this book, I thought to myself “how does anyone get through life without reading this book?” Before reading this incredible book, I couldn’t understand why my husband was so…different than me. He’s messy and I’m tidy. To me, when he is telling a story, he grossly exaggerates everything, but to him, he’s just making the the story more interesting… Now that I understand his personality and the traits that come along with it, I understand why he does most of the things he does. I’m very thankful for Personality Plus. I now have a much better understanding of myself, as well as how to deal with my spouse.
4. His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley. The subtitle on the book is “Building an Affair Proof Marriage.” As the child of divorced parents due to an affair, it is very important to me that I meet all of my husbands needs so that he does not need to look outside our marriage for fulfillment. Men and women obviously have very different needs, I am thankful that my husband understands that I have needs that are different than his and vi-ca versa. We are glad that we read this book. We actually are reading this for a second time right now to remind ourselves of each other’s needs.
5. Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs. This is my most recent favorite! I love the subtitle of this book also: “The love she most desires; the respect he desperately needs.” Men and women are not exactly created equal. We are different to our core for what we most desire from our spouse. I love this book because it is based on biblical principles. It goes to the deep roots of what we need from each other. I loved this book! My husband loves hearing the words of praise and the respect that I have tried to give him since reading it. I am loving the tenderness that he now has towards me.
