Steven Curtis Chapman’s 5-year-old daughter, Maria, died in a terrible accident on Wednesday. Her brother apparently hit her accidentally with the family’s SUV. Maria is one of three children that Chapman and his wife had adopted from China. The death of this child happened just 10 days after her 5th birthday. The name of Maria’s brother has not been released, as reported by People.
On May 19th I too suffered a tragic incident similar to the one of that the Chapman’s have to go through. I just recently went through the one-year anniversary of my 6-year-old son’s death. My son, Gaje Florence, was also hit by a vehicle in my driveway, the same as the Chapman’s daughter.
For me, getting through is not that easy to do and there are moments in your life that you want to blame someone and at that moment, anyone will do. I blamed God, my husband, the lady who killed him, but mostly me. I felt I should have been paying more attention, and it happened so fast that even I didn’t see it coming.
Since the Chapman’s are Christians, I would recommend that they purchase a book called Gone But Not lost by David W. Wiersbe. This book talks about the emotions that you are probably going through and the ones that you will probably feel. This book touches on a lot of questions that you will probably have about the death of a child.
Ignoring your emotions won’t make them go away and when you lose a child it is hard to not want to deal with reality. It still does not seem real to me and as time moves on I feel as though I am standing still. Facing my emotions was something that I thought I could never do. If you ignore your emotions you could be heading for a nervous break-down. Talk to your family, friends, or even a councilor who will listen to you.
Ignore what everyone has to say including you. During a time like this no one knows what you are going through and every person is different. People may say things that sound rude or even state the obvious; feeding into these comments will make it worse for you.
The questions that a person has will seem like they will never be answered and your faith may start to slip away from you. Taking time to grieve and cry may seem like a never ending battle but it will help you. If you feel the urge to cry don’t bottle it up inside, it will only make it hurt more.
Take a moment to step back from life and remember the good times that you had as a family. During a difficult time like the one that the Chapman’s are going through it may be difficult for a person to remember that there are others who need their love and support. Each person grieves differently and just because someone is not showing emotion does not mean that they aren’t suffering too.
As time moves on your heart will still heart and your life won’t be the same as it was but I can tell you from experience that you will laugh again someday and you will remember your child the that she was.
