Here are some funny quotes from the cartoon talk show, Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
(Elevator)
Space Ghost: (laughs) Judy, tell me, is there anything you admire about me?
Judy Tenuta: Oh, Space Ghost, I love it that you are invisible, and that you don’t eat my food, because you’re a cartoon character, you know, like my big fat roommate Blowsanne! (does Roseanne voice) Hey, Judy, hey, I want that donut ‘n stuff! (makes raspberry sound)
Space Ghost: It sounds like you have many friends. Do people want to be your friend because you’re so famous?
Judy Tenuta: Space Ghost, you must remember one thing: friends are just enemies who don’t have the guts to kill you!
Space Ghost: Judy, are friends just enemies who don’t have the guts to kill you?
Judy Tenuta: Yes! Friends are just enemies who don’t have the guts to kill you!
(Banjo)
Space Ghost: Hey Al, tell us about your new record.
Weird Al Yankovic: Oh please, Space Ghost, um, I, I came on your show because I’m a, I’m a big fan, not to plug my latest album…
Space Ghost: Wrong! Next question! Super powers, got any?
Weird Al Yankovic: Well, um, I can eat my own weight in Ding Dongs. I can turn red traffic lights green just by staring at them, and I can do an oil painting with my butt.
Space Ghost: That’s enough to get you on this show.
Weird Al Yankovic: Yeah, times are a little hard, I guess.
(Lovesick)
Carrot Top: Why do they call me Carrot Top?
Space Ghost: Yeah.
Carrot Top: ‘Cause all the good ones were taken.
Space Ghost: Like “loser”.
Carrot Top: Hootie.
Space Ghost: Hootie?
Carrot Top: I wanted to be Hootie. Hootie! Say it, it’s fun. Hootie!
Space Ghost: Uh, Hootie.
Zorak: Hootie?
Moltar: Hootie?
Carrot Top: Hootie! Isn’t that fun?
Moltar: Hootie!
Zorak: Hootie!
Carrot Top: Ladies and gentlemen, Hootie!
(Fire Ant)
Conan O’Brien: You know, I’ve been interviewed by all of them. Regis. Kathie Lee. Regis and Kathie Lee.
Space Ghost: Right.
Conan O’Brien: I’d like to say that I think this show is very bad…
Space Ghost: Okay.
Conan O’Brien: …and should be stopped.
Space Ghost: Okay.
Conan O’Brien: I think you’re a bad person, and don’t take this the wrong way…
Space Ghost: All right.
Conan O’Brien: …but I think you represent evil…
Space Ghost: Yeah.
Conan O’Brien: …and your presence makes any kind of progress in the universe impossible.
(In Memory of Elizabeth Reed)
William Shatner: I love a good donkey.
Moltar: Yeah.
William Shatner: You can take a donkey by the ear (makes grabbing gesture with his fists) and hold on tight,,,
Moltar: Uh, okay…
William Shatner: … and ride across the range, and look really rather romantic.
Moltar: (chuckles)
William Shatner: While you hold onto the ear, and you’re riding bareback.
Moltar: (excited) You ever been to a donkey show, Bill?!
(Idlewild South)
Jeff Probst: Have you seen the show “Survivor,” Space Ghost?
Space Ghost: Uhh, yeah. A bunch of guys killin’ each other.
Jeff Probst: Well, it’s a mixture of guys and girls.
Space Ghost: (sitting up) Dancin’ around, killin’ each other.
(Dreams)
Triumph: Who watches this show?
Space Ghost: Don’t know.
Triumph: Anybody?
Space Ghost: Not sure.
Triumph: Seriously?
Space Ghost: Seriously!
(Flipmode)
Busta Rhymes: You need to give me… a pair of them laser wrist things you be running around the place with.
Space Ghost: Why?
Busta Rhymes: I’m gonna use ’em.
Space Ghost: For what?
Busta Rhymes: I might use ’em to zap you with ’em.
Space Ghost: Okay.
Busta Rhymes: Give ’em to me.
Space Ghost: I will.
Busta Rhymes: So let me have it.
Space Ghost: I will.
(Sweet for Brak)
Zorak: Look, Satan is supposed to come pick it up.
Moltar: Shyeah, man, we’re doin’ it for Satan.
Space Ghost: Satan. Did I meet him? At, at the open house?
Moltar: Yeah, he was the guy, that was tryin’ to get you to- kill that girl.
Zorak: Yeah, you know, with the necktie. And, uh, crown made of femurs.
Space Ghost: Uh, I don’t remember him.
Zorak: Maybe you didn’t see him. Your eyes were all rolled back in your head.
Moltar: Yeah, man, and you kept sayin’ “Satan, daddy, satan!”
Space Ghost: Femurs?
(The Justice Hole)
Dave Thomas: Alright, Space Ghost, how thick is your neck?
Space Ghost: I’ll ask the questions, Dave. How thick is my neck? It’s 48 inches.
Dave Thomas: That’s a decent sized neck.
Space Ghost: Radius, Dave.
Dave Thomas: 48 inch radius.
Space Ghost: Radius.
Dave Thomas: How do you measure it, with a straightened coat hanger or…
Space Ghost: I just cut my head off and count the rings on my esophagus.
Dave Thomas: Fair enough.
Space Ghost: What’s that on your jaw, Dave? Oh-h-h, it’s fat.
Dave Thomas: Thank you for even acknowledging that I have a jaw, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: (in low voice) Not much of one.
(Curling Flower Space)
Space Ghost: …pairs of underwear. And I always bring one entire knapsack full of soap.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Um, and you are?
Space Ghost: Space Ghost.
Sarah Jessica Parker: (laughing) Right. Uh, is your full name “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” or is it just “Space Ghost”?
Space Ghost: Uh, I don’t know. Hey! Want to see how high I can jump?
Sarah Jessica Parker: Hmm…
Space Ghost: I can jump high! I can go real high!
Sarah Jessica Parker: (laughing) No, I thought maybe you were joking.
Space Ghost: Okay! Here goes! (takes off) Weeeeeeeee!!!
(Sarah Jessica Parker hides her face in her hands as Space Ghost bounces around the studio)
(Cahill)
Garrett Morris: Do they, like, believe in cash out there in the universe?
Space Ghost: (still under his desk) What’s this now?
Garrett Morris: Money money money money money.
Space Ghost: I don’t have any money.
Garrett Morris: (sings) Money!
Space Ghost: (sings) I don’t have any!
Garrett Morris: (sings) Some people, got to have it.
Space Ghost: I don’t have any money (stands up)
Garrett Morris: (sings) Some people, really need it.
Space Ghost: Hellooo! (sits down)
Garrett Morris: (sings) Do things, do things, do things, good things with it.
Space Ghost: I’m talkin’ to myself.
(Toast)
Space Ghost: You know, Adam, I can hug all night.
Adam Carolla: Although I never see you with any women.
Space Ghost: What do you mean? Women are all over me like proton shields on the lost city of Guf.
Adam Carolla: But yet you go home from the studio each night alone.
Space Ghost: I have my puzzles.
Adam Carolla: But you can’t squeeze puzzles.
Space Ghost: You could squeeze puzzles.
Adam Carolla: Yeah, but the covered bridge you just made would break and go into a million pieces, and you’d have to rebuild it again, on your lonely kitchen table.
Space Ghost: Not if you laminate ’em.
(Sphinx)
Space Ghost: Greetings, Harland!
Harland Williams: Hello there… Billy.
Space Ghost: My name is not…
Moltar: Wheeeeeeeee! (slides by)
Space Ghost: … Billy.
Harland Williams: Oh. (winks)
Space Ghost: It’s Space Ghost.
Harland Williams: ‘kay, Billy. Gotcha. (winks again)
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Quotes gathered from www.snard.com/sg
