It’s a dilemma of college students apartment hunters on a budget. How do you deal with a roommate? First year college students may find that they’re not even sure how to approach the roommate situation, most likely having never shared more than the occasional bedroom floor at a slumber party with anyone of a non-familial nature. Those in their later years of college may be finding issues coming up with good friends or past roommates now that they’re spending longer hours in closer quarters with them. For those out in the working world, sometimes having a roommate is the only way to afford the bills. The following tips can help adjust to cohabitation no matter what situation you happen to be in.
1. Respect Personal Space – It’s not always possible to have your own room in a roommate situation. If you are one of the lucky ones, you’ll find that your room is your haven. So is your roommate’s. Though many people wouldn’t even think to do it, many others would: going into your roommate’s room without being invited is a big no. Unless you’re invited in, chances are they’d like to keep their space to themselves and if they find out that you went in there without permission, there’s going to be an irreparable feeling of violation. It might sound harsh but think about how you’d feel if you came home to find one of your roommates making your room their own. If you don’t have your own room (a common situation in college dorms) respect where the boundaries are. Whether the room is split in two, or into several separate corners, be sure to keep your things to your area. Personal space is a big issue and this is even moreso when you’re living in a small space with someone.
2. Be Courteous with the Shared Space – Though you might not spend a lot of time in a common living area with your roommates, it’s important that you respect their lifestyle when it comes to that space. Don’t assume that your own décor tastes are going to be shared with everyone else living there. Plastering posters of your own liking will easily annoy the others. If your habit is to come home and throw your stuff on the couch-and then leave it there for hours on end – -you might want to find a new habit. The shared space is for everyone and everyone should feel comfortable in it. Have a meeting with your roommate(s) and decide what’s acceptable, then take it from there. By working together, you can make a comfortable area that everyone will feel good hanging out in.
3. Do Your Part: Cleaning doesn’t do itself, though in many roommate situations it sometimes seems that way. As a courteous roommate, be prepared to do your share in the daily or weekly chores. Work together to come up with a schedule or a routine. Alternate days to the do the dishes, or make a deal to wash your own dishes once you’re finished with them. Some chores, like dusting or window washing may only need to be done once a week, so change off weeks or pick one day when everyone chips in for a full cleaning. By doing your part, you’ll set an example and earn the respect of your roommates in the process.
4. Give an Inch: Sometimes it’s all about compromise. If you like listening to your stereo at an ear splitting level, realize that to keep the peace you might have to turn it down while your roommate is studying. Have a habit of leaving your clothes in the dryer long past the timer has gone off? Remember that others in the house or dorm need to use it as well and take your clothes out in a timely manner. Chip in for toilet paper or paper towels for the whole house, or offer to by a gallon milk if everyone else has had their turn at it. Even going beyond the little things can be to your advantage. If a roommate asks for a ride somewhere or asks you to pick up something for them on your way home, go ahead and do it. A favor here and there might earn you one in return. If a matter is brought to your attention, be willing to give a little to make things better. After all, in a roommate situation, everyone has to bend to adapt to living with others.
5. Voice Your Concerns: If you’re having an issue with a roommate, it’s okay to tell them about it. Just do it in a constructive way. Stay away from accusations. Blaming someone for something will just make them defensive. If they’re doing something that’s bothering you, there’s a fairly good chance they don’t even realize it. Sit them down and tell them where the problem is. Most times they’ll take steps to work the situation out with you. Some people have habits that are just hard to break so don’t be angry if you have to reiterate at another point in the future. On the flipside, if a roommate comes to you with an issue, be open to something may be able to change in your own behavior. Even just a few little changes can make a world of difference in how everyone gets along.
6. Censor Yourself When Appropriate: Even if you have a busy life and don’t find much time to be at home, there’s going to be moments when you’re going to be in the same vicinity of your roommate(s) and discussions of various sorts are bound to start. Opinions are fine, but remember that not everyone might share your views. If your discussion is one with a controversial edge, keep your opinions light and respect those of your roommates. Be willing to agree to disagree. Certain subjects can spark emotions and hurt feelings that will be hard to recover from later Also respect other people’s opinions on swear words and dirty jokes. If you know you’re roommate is easily offended by cursing, don’t walk around in front of them dropping F-bombs. Respect that they may find this vulgar and keep it to more appropriate situations when he or she is not around.
7. Set Limits on Extra “Roommates”: Roommates tend to get a little irritated when they see the same person there every day and it happens to be someone who’s not paying rent. Whether it’s a boyfriend or just a close friend who doesn’t want to go home, remember that your living quarters are not a hotel. One or two nights here and there are fine, but if they’re setting up their own shelf in the bathroom, you might want to question whether or not the others who share the house and actually pay rent are appreciative of this newcomer. Chances are they’re going to resent it, especially if valuable supplies (toilet paper and food) are being used by this semi-freeloader. Set limits with your friends and discuss what’s acceptable with your roommates and ask the same of them.
8. Follow Bathroom Etiquette: The bathroom is always a big issue, especially with women, and bathroom courtesy should be taken seriously. Set standing shower times and stick to them. For impromptu bathroom uses, try not to monopolize this ultra important area, and if your roommate needs to use it in an emergency situation, be nice and let them. If there are hot water issues, keep showers short. If there are time constraints (work, classes, etc.) keep primping even shorter. Respect everyone’s bathroom rights with the courtesy you would expect in return.
9. What’s Theirs is Theirs: In any living situation certain things can be shared. Obviously everyone is going to use the same pack of toilet paper and certain kitchen condiments. But there are some things that when it comes to the roommate situation, it’s every man or woman for themselves. In the kitchen, frozen dinners, snacks, and chips are generally off limits unless your roommate has made the offer for you to help yourself. Same with specialty drinks or anything that looks pricy. Outfit borrowing is sometimes mutually agreed upon, but to just walk into someone’s closet to take shoes or clothing is rude. As for toiletries, towels, and washrags, you should definitely have your own set of everything. If you run out of shampoo, it’s usually not a big deal to ask a roommate to borrow a dollop of hers. But using half the bottle because you just haven’t gotten around to getting your own yet will not endear you to anybody you live with.
10. Know When to say When: Leases, financial situations, and lack of available alternative housing all make it hard just to pick up and leave when times get tough. But if you’ve tried everything else and just can’t get along with your roommate, it’s time to start looking for a new roof over your head. Start asking around, surfing the net, and keeping your eyes open for apartment complexes in your area. Get rates and start saving money for when the lease is up if that’s what’s holding you back. If there’s no lease, be courteous and let your roommate know that you’re planning on leaving and be honest about why. Certain personalities just don’t mesh well in the same living space. Don’t place blame, simply state your intentions and try to leave on a good note. Don’t give up on the roommate idea altogether. One bad experience does not equal an upcoming string of bad luck. Learn from it, move on, and chances are you’ll find someone you’ll get along with well enough to live with. Who knows? You might come out if it with a good friend in the process.
